8 signs you’ve found your life partner, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | June 18, 2024, 2:19 pm

Finding your life partner isn’t like picking out a new pair of shoes. It’s a monumental decision that can shape the rest of your life. But how do you know when you’ve found “the one”?

Psychology has some answers.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and relationship expert, I’m here to share with you 8 signs that you’ve found your life partner, according to psychology.

This isn’t about ticking off boxes on a checklist. It’s about recognizing the deep, emotional connection that signals a lasting bond.

Let’s dive in.

1) They’re your best friend

A significant sign that you’ve found your life partner is when you consider them as your best friend.

Psychology emphasizes the importance of friendship as the core foundation of a lasting relationship. Your life partner should be someone who you can laugh with, share secrets with, and support in their highs and lows.

Think about it. Doesn’t it make sense to spend your life with someone who knows you inside out and still loves you unconditionally, just as a best friend would?

It’s not just about romance and passion. It’s about finding that person who understands and accepts you in a way no one else does.

This isn’t just my observation but also backed by numerous psychological studies. If your partner is also your best friend, chances are, you’ve found “the one”.

2) You share similar values

Sharing similar core values with your partner is another clear sign that you’ve found your life partner.

As a relationship expert, I can tell you that one of the pillars of a successful relationship is aligned values. Whether it’s about family, career, or life goals, having a shared vision can make a world of difference when it comes to compatibility.

The legendary poet Maya Angelou once said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” But to get through those hurdles and fences, it helps if you’re both heading in the same direction.

If you and your partner share values and have similar goals and ambitions, it’s an excellent sign that you’ve found the person you’re meant to spend your life with. It’s like finding your teammate, with whom you can navigate life’s ups and downs.

3) You feel secure and safe with them

Safety and security might not sound like the most passionate aspects of a relationship, but trust me, they’re crucial.

Do you feel at ease with your partner? Can you be vulnerable and share your deepest fears without hesitation? If yes, then this is another sign that you’ve found your life partner.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the importance of feeling secure in a relationship and how it can foster a healthy bond between two people.

A good life partner makes you feel safe, both emotionally and physically. They are your support system, your rock during hard times, and your cheerleader during happy ones.

If you find yourself feeling safe and secure with your partner, take it as a significant sign that you’ve found “the one”. But remember, we’re only at sign number three. There’s more to come!

4) You argue well together

This might sound counterintuitive, but yes, arguing is a healthy and necessary part of any relationship.

No two people can agree on everything. Disagreements are bound to happen. What matters is how you handle those disagreements. Do they escalate into full-blown fights, or do you manage to have constructive conversations?

If you and your partner can argue well, meaning you listen to each other’s perspectives, respect each other’s feelings, and find a compromise without resorting to hurtful words or actions, it’s another sign you’ve found your life partner.

It’s not about never having arguments; it’s about handling them in a way that strengthens your bond rather than creating a rift.

If you find that your disagreements with your partner are more about understanding each other better rather than winning a battle, you’re on the right track. But remember, we’re only halfway through the signs. There’s more wisdom yet to come!

5) They support your growth

Personal growth is a vital part of our lives. However, in a relationship, it’s easy to lose sight of our individual development.

When you’re with your life partner, they won’t hold you back. Instead, they’ll encourage you to grow, to chase your dreams and to become the best version of yourself.

In my own life, I’ve found this to be a significant sign. My partner has always been my greatest cheerleader, encouraging me to pursue my passions and goals, even when they seemed out of reach.

A life partner understands that personal growth is not a threat to the relationship. On the contrary, it can make the relationship stronger and more vibrant.

If your partner supports your growth and cheers you on every step of the way, you’ve likely found “the one”. But don’t forget, there are still more signs to explore!

6) You’re not afraid to be yourself

Let’s get real here. If you can’t be yourself around your partner, then who can you be yourself around?

A significant sign that you’ve found your life partner is the freedom to be unapologetically you. No masks, no pretenses, just raw and honest authenticity.

Your life partner should accept and love you for who you are, quirks and all. They should make you feel comfortable in your skin, without the fear of being judged or criticized.

Love isn’t about finding the perfect person; it’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. So if you can be your true self with your partner, with all your flaws and idiosyncrasies, consider it a crucial sign that you’ve found “the one”.

We’re not done yet. There are still more signs to discuss!

7) You see a future together

It’s often said that love is about living in the moment. But when it comes to a life partner, it’s also about seeing a future together.

Do you envision your partner in your plans for the future? Do you see them beside you as you grow old? If yes, then it’s another sign that you’ve found your life partner.

In my own journey, picturing a shared future with my partner was a defining moment. It wasn’t just about the here and now; it was about the years and decades to come.

As the great Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” And when you’ve found your life partner, you see them riding alongside you, no matter where life’s path may lead.

We’re almost there. There’s just one last sign to explore!

8) There’s mutual respect

This may sound like a given, but you’d be surprised how often it’s overlooked. Mutual respect is a non-negotiable in a life partnership.

Does your partner respect your opinions, even when they disagree? Do they value your feelings and needs? Do they treat you as their equal? If the answer to these questions is yes, then this is a strong sign you’ve found your life partner.

Being in love doesn’t mean losing yourself or tolerating disrespect. Your life partner should recognize your worth and treat you with the respect you deserve.

Love without respect is hollow and unsustainable. So if you and your partner have a foundation of mutual respect, consider it the final sign that you’ve found “the one”.

Love is a journey, not a destination. So keep these signs in mind as you navigate your path to finding your life partner.


So there you have it, the 8 signs that you’ve found your life partner, according to psychology. It’s not always easy to recognize these signs, but with a little self-awareness and honesty, you’ll be able to navigate your way.

Finding your life partner is about embarking on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and love. And remember, every journey is unique, so don’t rush it.

If you’d like to delve deeper into the complexities of relationships and personal growth, I invite you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a guide to help you build healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Remember, love is all about connection and mutual understanding. So here’s to finding your life partner and building a love that lasts!

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