It’s not easy admitting we’re not always the best versions of ourselves. I mean, who likes to think they might not be a purely good person, right?

Well, according to psychology, there are certain signs that could suggest we’re not entirely on the side of the angels.

And no, it’s not about being outright mean or evil. It’s more subtle than that. These are patterns and behaviors we might not even realize we’re exhibiting.

Here, I’ve rounded up eight signs you might not be as good a person as you think, all based on psychology. Don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom – understanding these signs can help us grow and become better versions of ourselves.

1) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s something that all good people possess.

But what happens when that empathy is missing? According to psychology, it might be a sign you’re not as good a person as you think.

Imagine this scenario: your friend has just lost their job and they’re feeling upset. If you’re empathetic, you’ll feel for them, offer comforting words, maybe even help them look for a new job.

On the other hand, if you’re dismissive of their feelings, ignore their plight or, worse still, take pleasure in their misfortune – that’s a lack of empathy. It’s not just about being mean – it’s about failing to recognize and respond to the emotions of others.

Remember, acknowledging this is the first step towards change. If you see this trait in yourself, it’s not a life sentence – with self-awareness and effort, you can cultivate empathy.

2) Constantly playing the victim

I remember this one time, I was late for work three days in a row. The first time, there was unexpected traffic. The second day, my alarm clock didn’t go off. The third day, my car wouldn’t start. Instead of taking responsibility, I found myself blaming everything and everyone else – the traffic, the alarm clock, the car.

I was constantly playing the victim.

According to psychologists, consistently portraying oneself as a victim is often a sign of not-so-good character. It’s an inability to take responsibility for one’s actions and circumstances, always shifting the blame onto others or external factors.

It’s a trait I had to confront in myself. I realized that while certain things were out of my control, such as the traffic, there were other things I could have done to prevent being late – like leaving earlier or checking my alarm before bed.

If you find yourself constantly blaming others for your problems instead of looking at what you could change, it might be time for some introspection.

3) Frequent dishonesty

Did you know that the average person tells one to two lies a day? That’s a lot of fibs, right? But when lying becomes a habit, it can be a sign of something more concerning.

According to psychologists, frequent dishonesty is a significant indicator that you might not be as good a person as you think. It’s not just about big lies either. Even small, seemingly harmless falsehoods can add up and point to a deeper issue.

If you find yourself telling white lies more often than not, or bending the truth to suit your narrative, it might be time to reflect on why that is. Good people value truth and honesty even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient.

4) Not respecting boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is fundamental in maintaining healthy relationships and showing respect for others.

Yet, there are people who consistently overstep these boundaries, ignoring other people’s comfort zones and personal space. Whether it’s borrowing things without asking, continually turning up uninvited, or constantly pushing others to reveal personal information, these actions show a disregard for others’ feelings and rights.

This lack of respect for boundaries is a clear sign you might not be as good a person as you think you are. Remember, everyone has the right to their personal space and privacy. If you find yourself breaching these boundaries regularly, it might be time to reassess your actions and make some changes.

5) Taking more than you give

We’re all guilty of taking more than we give at times. It’s part of being human. But when it becomes a pattern, it can indicate a deeper issue.

Life is about balance. Good people understand the importance of giving and receiving in equal measure. But if you find that you’re always on the receiving end, always taking but seldom giving back – whether it’s in friendships, relationships, or even at work – it might be a sign that you’re not as good a person as you believe.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. But self-awareness is the first step towards change. If this resonates with you, take it as an opportunity to reflect and strive for more balance in your interactions with others. It’s never too late to change our ways and become more giving.

6) Taking pleasure in others’ misfortune

I remember a time when a colleague of mine made a significant error at work. Initially, I felt a twinge of satisfaction – it wasn’t me in the hot seat for once. This is known as schadenfreude, the act of taking pleasure in someone else’s misfortune.

But upon reflection, I realized this wasn’t the person I wanted to be.

Psychologists suggest that schadenfreude is a sign you may not be as good a person as you think. It’s about deriving joy from another’s downfall rather than empathizing with their situation or offering support.

If this sounds familiar, it’s worth doing some soul-searching. Nobody’s perfect, and we all make mistakes. But taking pleasure in others’ errors instead of offering help or understanding is not a trait of a good person.

7) Never apologizing

Apologies are not just about accepting mistakes. They’re also about acknowledging the impact of our actions on others and showing that we care about their feelings.

However, some people find it hard to say “I’m sorry.” They might deflect blame, make excuses, or completely ignore the situation. This inability or unwillingness to apologize can be a sign that you’re not as good a person as you think.

Good people understand that everyone makes mistakes, and apologizing doesn’t make you weak. On the contrary, it shows strength and maturity. If you find yourself avoiding apologies, it might be time to reflect on why that is and work towards becoming better at admitting when you’re wrong.

8) Lack of personal growth

The most important thing to understand about being a good person is that it’s not a fixed state. It’s a journey of personal growth.

If you’re not interested in self-improvement, in learning from your mistakes, and growing as a person, then that could be a sign you’re not as good a person as you think. Good people strive to be better, to evolve, to learn and grow from their experiences.

So if you find yourself stuck in the same patterns, refusing to change or grow, it might be time to ask yourself why that is. Remember, the journey towards being a better person starts with a single step.