There’s a fine line between being assertive and just plain difficult.

Being assertive means standing your ground while respecting others. But being difficult? That’s when you’re causing strain and tension without even realizing it.

Psychology has a lot to say about this, providing clear signs for when you’ve crossed that line.

This piece will delve into those 8 key signs that show you might be more difficult to deal with than you think.

Let’s get started. 

1) You’re often the center of drama

There’s no denying it – life has its share of ups and downs, conflicts and resolutions.

However, if you find yourself constantly in the middle of high-intensity situations, it might be time to take a step back and consider your role in these scenarios.

Psychology suggests that being the common factor in repeated dramatic situations could indicate a difficulty in maintaining balanced relationships.

You may not even realize it, but your actions or reactions could be escalating situations rather than diffusing them.

It’s not about finger-pointing or self-blame, but rather understanding your behavior patterns. Awareness is the first step to change after all. So, if drama seems to follow you, it might be a sign that you’re a bit difficult to deal with.

2) Listening isn’t your strong suit

Here’s a personal confession: I used to think I was a great listener.

But one day, a close friend pulled me aside and told me something that completely changed my perspective. She said, “You’re always waiting for your turn to speak, rather than actually listening to what I’m saying.”

It hit me hard. I wasn’t truly engaging with others, I was just preparing my next point in my head while they were still speaking.

Psychology tells us that poor listening skills can make people difficult to deal with. It creates a one-sided conversation and can leave the other person feeling unheard and unimportant.

If you’re like me and have caught yourself preparing your response instead of actively listening, it might be a sign you’re difficult to deal with.

It’s never too late to improve. Start by putting your thoughts on pause and truly focusing on what the other person is saying. It can make a world of difference.

3) Empathy isn’t your strong point

In the world of psychology, empathy is often referred to as the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a crucial component of effective communication and healthy relationships.

However, not everyone is naturally empathetic. Some people struggle to put themselves in another person’s shoes or to understand their feelings.

For instance, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who score low on empathy tests tend to have a higher likelihood of causing conflict in their relationships.

So, if you’re finding it hard to understand or care about how others feel, you might be more difficult to deal with than you think.

The good news? Empathy can be learned and developed over time. It starts with opening your mind and heart to the experiences and feelings of others.

4) You seldom take responsibility

We all make mistakes. It’s a universal part of being human. But how we react in the aftermath of those mistakes can tell a lot about us.

Psychology tells us that people who have a hard time accepting responsibility for their actions can be quite difficult to deal with. This tendency to deflect blame and not own up to one’s errors creates a cycle of avoidance that can strain relationships and hinder personal growth.

If you find yourself constantly pointing fingers at others when things go wrong, it may be a sign that you’re not as easygoing as you think.

The first step towards change is acceptance. So, take a deep breath, acknowledge your mistakes, and take steps towards making things right. It’s a liberating experience and can greatly improve your interpersonal relationships.

5) You struggle to celebrate others’ success

It’s a beautiful thing to see people we care about succeed. Their achievements can fill us with joy, and cheering them on can strengthen our bonds.

However, not everyone finds it easy to genuinely celebrate others’ victories. In some cases, these successes might trigger feelings of envy or inadequacy, making it hard to express sincere happiness for the other person.

If you find that you’re frequently downplaying or dismissing others’ accomplishments, it might indicate that you’re more difficult to deal with than you realize.

It’s important to remember that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own worth or achievements. Life is not a competition. Embrace this mindset and start celebrating the wins of those around you. It could bring a lot more positivity and joy into your life.

6) You’re resistant to change

I’ve always been a creature of habit. I like routines, and I find comfort in the predictable.

However, life has a way of throwing curveballs, and change is an inevitable part of our journey. I learned the hard way that my resistance to change made me difficult to be around.

When changes occurred, whether they were small or significant, I would become irritable and withdrawn. This behavior caused tension in my relationships and even hindered my personal growth.

Being resistant to change is a common trait among people who are difficult to deal with. If you find yourself struggling with adaptability, it could be an indication that you’re not as easygoing as you believe.

Change can be uncomfortable, but it’s often the catalyst for growth and new opportunities. Embracing it rather than resisting it can make life a lot more enjoyable and less stressful.

7) You’re often negative

Positivity and negativity can be infectious. The energy we radiate can significantly impact the people around us and our interactions with them.

Psychology suggests that individuals who consistently exhibit a negative outlook can be challenging to deal with. Constant complaining, pessimism, or criticism creates a heavy atmosphere that can drain those around you.

If you find that your conversations and thoughts are frequently filled with negativity, it may be a sign that you’re more difficult to be around than you realize.

Shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one isn’t easy, but the benefits are worth the effort. Start by trying to find the silver lining in tough situations or practicing gratitude daily. It can help transform your perspective and improve your relationships.

8) You struggle with compromise

Life is full of negotiations, big and small. From deciding on a movie to watch with your partner to reaching an agreement in a business deal, compromise is often the key to resolution and harmony.

However, a struggle with compromise can make a person particularly challenging to deal with. If it’s always your way or the highway, relationships can become strained and imbalanced.

Compromise isn’t about losing or surrendering. It’s about finding a middle ground where everyone feels heard and valued. If you find this hard to do, it might be an indication that you’re more difficult to be around than you think.