There’s a fine line between a challenging relationship and one that’s draining you emotionally.

In psychology, emotional exhaustion is more than just feeling a bit tired. It’s a state of feeling emotionally worn-out and drained as a result of accumulated stress from your personal or work lives, or a combination of both.

Being in a relationship should bring happiness and peace, not constant fatigue and stress. However, sometimes it’s hard to recognize the signs that your relationship is taking more from you emotionally than it’s giving.

Here are 8 signs your relationship is making you emotionally exhausted, according to psychology. Let’s dive in to understand when love turns into a burden.

1) You’re constantly feeling drained

Emotional exhaustion is not just about being physically tired. It’s a deep-seated sense of being emotionally depleted and worn out.

In any relationship, ups and downs are part and parcel of the journey. But if you find yourself constantly feeling drained, it’s a sign that something might be off.

According to psychology, one of the key signs of emotional exhaustion is a constant state of fatigue that rest doesn’t seem to fix. A good night’s sleep or a relaxing weekend should generally leave you feeling recharged. But if you’re in a relationship that’s emotionally exhausting, you might find that no amount of rest seems to help.

You wake up tired, go through your day tired and go to bed even more tired. It’s like your emotional battery is constantly on low, with no opportunity or ability to recharge.

Remember, relationships should energize you more than they drain you. If it’s the other way around, it might be time to take a closer look at why that’s happening.

2) Small arguments escalate quickly

I still remember the time when small disagreements with my partner would quickly escalate into major fights.

In healthy relationships, conflicts are bound to happen. But it’s how they are handled that makes all the difference. In my case, what started as benign discussions would quickly turn into heated arguments, leaving me feeling emotionally drained and exhausted.

It felt like walking on eggshells, always wary of triggering an argument. This constant tension took a toll on my emotional well-being, making me feel on edge all the time.

Psychology suggests that if minor disagreements often turn into major conflicts in your relationship, it could be a sign of emotional exhaustion. It’s not the argument itself, but the intensity and frequency that can leave you feeling drained.

So if you find yourself in a similar situation where small issues can’t be discussed without turning into a full-blown fight, it might be an indication that your relationship is emotionally exhausting.

3) Your self-esteem is taking a hit

In a relationship, both partners should lift each other up and support one another. But in an emotionally exhausting relationship, you might find your self-esteem being eroded.

You might start doubting your worth, questioning your decisions, and feeling less confident in general. What’s worse is that this constant state of self-doubt can lead to other psychological issues like anxiety and depression.

Individuals in strained, tumultuous relationships often suffer from lower self-esteem. This not only affects their personal sense of self-worth but also their professional performance and social interactions.

So if you find your confidence dwindling and your self-esteem at an all-time low, it could be a sign that your relationship is emotionally draining you. 

4) You’re losing interest in things you once enjoyed

Everyone has passions and interests that bring them joy. But in an emotionally exhausting relationship, you might find your enthusiasm for these activities dwindling.

It’s not that you’ve outgrown your hobbies or lost interest in them. Instead, the emotional toll of your relationship may be leaving you with little energy or desire to pursue the things you once loved.

According to psychology, this loss of interest is often a warning sign of emotional exhaustion. It’s as if the stress of your relationship is casting a gray cloud over everything else in your life.

So if you’re finding it hard to muster enthusiasm for activities that once brought you joy, it could be a sign that your relationship is taking an emotional toll on you.

5) You feel alone even when you’re together

There’s a certain kind of loneliness that can only be felt when you’re in a room with someone you love, yet you feel utterly alone.

Emotional exhaustion can often lead to feelings of isolation. You could be sitting right next to your partner, but the emotional connection feels lost. It’s as if there’s an invisible wall between you two and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to break it down.

This isn’t about physical proximity, it’s about emotional distance. And when that connection fades, it can leave you feeling incredibly lonely.

This loneliness within a relationship can be a clear sign of emotional exhaustion. It’s a heart-wrenching situation where the person who used to be your comfort and joy now feels like a stranger.

6) You’re constantly on the defensive

I remember a time when I would feel the need to justify my actions and decisions constantly. It was like being on trial every day in my own relationship.

It’s normal to have disagreements in a relationship, but when you find yourself constantly feeling attacked and getting defensive, it can be emotionally exhausting. Instead of feeling safe and understood, you’re always on edge, anticipating the next critique or argument.

This constant state of defensiveness can be draining. It’s like living in a state of high alert, always ready to defend yourself. This stress takes a toll on your emotional health and can leave you feeling worn out.

So if you find yourself constantly on guard, ready to defend your actions or words, it might be a sign that your relationship is emotionally draining. A healthy relationship shouldn’t feel like a battlefield; it should be your safe haven.

7) Your physical health is deteriorating

Believe it or not, your emotional health can have a significant impact on your physical well-being.

In an emotionally exhausting relationship, the constant stress and anxiety can manifest in various physical symptoms. You might experience frequent headaches, stomach issues, or even unexplained aches and pains.

What’s more, chronic stress can also lead to more serious health issues like high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity.

So if you notice a decline in your physical health along with emotional exhaustion, it could be a sign that your relationship is taking a toll on you physically as well as emotionally. It’s crucial to listen to these signals your body is giving you and take steps to address the root cause.

8) You’re losing yourself

The most significant sign of an emotionally exhausting relationship is when you start losing sight of who you truly are. Your identity, values, desires, and dreams – everything seems to be fading into the background.

A relationship should be a part of your life, not your entire existence. But if you find yourself constantly compromising your needs and wants for the sake of the relationship, it’s a clear sign that it’s emotionally draining you.

You start living for the relationship instead of having the relationship complement your life. It’s a feeling of slowly disappearing, being consumed by the relationship till you can’t recognise yourself anymore.

This loss of self can be deeply unsettling and emotionally exhausting. Always remember that you are an individual first and a partner second. You should never have to lose yourself to love someone else.