8 signs your adult children genuinely enjoy spending time with you, according to psychology

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | January 15, 2025, 3:56 am

There’s a distinct line between your adult children spending time with you out of obligation and them genuinely enjoying it.

The difference is all about the subtle cues. You see, when they’re genuinely having a good time, they’ll unconsciously display certain behaviors that psychologists have identified.

Spotting these signs can be a heartwarming affirmation that yes, your adult kids truly do enjoy your company. And hey, who wouldn’t want to know that?

Below are 8 key signs to look out for. These are backed by psychology, and they’ll help you recognize if your adult children truly relish the moments spent with you.

1) They initiate contact

In the realm of parent-adult child relationships, initiating contact is a powerful signal.

Psychologists have found that when adult children seek out their parents, it’s a strong indication of their enjoyment in the relationship.

Think of it this way. We tend to reach out to those whose company we enjoy, right? The same goes for your adult kids. If they’re frequently the ones calling, texting, or suggesting get-togethers, it’s a clear sign that they genuinely enjoy spending time with you.

Remember, as parents, we must respect their independence. But if they’re consistently making the first move to connect, you can take it as a positive sign.

2) They share personal stories

One thing I’ve noticed with my own adult children is the power of shared stories.

You see, when your adult children voluntarily share details about their lives, it’s a clear indication that they value your role in their life.

I remember one evening, my daughter came over for dinner. As we sat down to eat, she began to share about a recent challenge she faced at her workplace. She wasn’t looking for advice or solutions, she just wanted to share her experience with me.

In that moment, I realized what psychologists have long said: when your adult children openly share their personal stories – the good, the bad and everything in between – it’s a strong sign they genuinely enjoy spending time with you. It’s their way of saying that they trust you and feel comfortable in your presence. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

3) They engage in meaningful conversations

When your adult children engage in deep, meaningful conversations with you, it’s a definite sign they enjoy your company. It’s one thing to chat about the weather or the latest TV show, but it’s quite another to delve into topics like personal beliefs, aspirations, and fears.

A study found that having quality conversations, as opposed to small talk, is linked to a higher degree of happiness. So when your adult children steer the conversation towards deeper subjects, it not only suggests they value your insights and opinions, but also that they feel happier in your presence.

It’s these engaging dialogues that foster a stronger bond between you and your adult children – a bond rooted in mutual respect and genuine enjoyment.

4) They show interest in your life

Mutual interest is a powerful thing. When your adult children take a genuine interest in your life, it’s a clear sign that they enjoy spending time with you.

Whether they ask about your day, seek your advice, or show curiosity about your interests, these are all indications that they value and respect you.

If they’re asking about what’s new with you or expressing interest in your activities, it’s because they care. They’re invested in the relationship and want to know more about you.

Remember, this isn’t about them fulfilling a duty. It’s about them wanting to understand and connect with you on a deeper level. And that’s a truly beautiful sign of their genuine enjoyment of your company.

5) They express gratitude

Gratitude is a potent emotion. It signifies appreciation, kindness, and positive feelings. When your adult children frequently express their gratitude towards you, it’s a heartfelt sign that they genuinely enjoy your company.

It could be a simple ‘thank you’ for a meal you’ve cooked, or an ‘I appreciate you’ for supporting them through a tough time. These little expressions of gratitude are not just courteous but are reflective of their deeper feelings towards you.

These expressions are more than mere words; they’re a testament to the bond you share and their acknowledgement of your enduring love and support. It’s their way of saying that they don’t take your presence in their lives for granted, and they cherish the moments spent with you. That, dear parents, is something truly special.

6) They’re comfortable with silence

There’s a certain comfort in silence that speaks volumes about a relationship. When your adult children can sit with you in silence without feeling the need to fill every moment with chatter, it’s a positive sign.

I recall a time when my son and I were driving back from a fishing trip. We spent most of the drive in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence and the scenery around us. It wasn’t an awkward silence; it was peaceful, filled with mutual understanding and comfort.

This kind of unspoken connection indicates a deep level of comfort and acceptance. It signifies that they don’t feel compelled to put on a show or keep up appearances. They’re simply at ease in your presence, and that’s a true sign of their enjoyment in spending time with you.

7) They include you in their future plans

When your adult children discuss their future plans with you and include you in them, it’s a clear indicator that they see you as an important part of their life.

Whether it’s discussing their career aspirations, or planning a family vacation next summer, the fact that they envision a future with you in it speaks volumes about their affection for you.

It’s not just about seeking your advice or approval, it’s a reflection of their desire to share their life’s journey with you. They’re not just planning their future; they’re planning a future that includes you. And that’s a heartening sign of their genuine enjoyment of your company.

8) They express love openly

At the end of the day, the most telling sign that your adult children genuinely enjoy spending time with you is their open expression of love.

Expressions of love aren’t limited to just saying “I love you.” It can be seen in their actions, heard in their laughter, and felt in their hugs. It’s in the way they look at you, the way they listen to you, and the way they stand by you.

When love is expressed openly and sincerely, it’s more than just a sign of enjoyment. It’s a testament to a strong, healthy relationship that has evolved from parent-child to one of mutual respect, friendship, and deep affection. And that’s the most beautiful sign of all.