Growing up, we all experienced different parenting styles. Some of us had parents who were laid-back, while some of us, well, didn’t.

Overparenting is when parents go above and beyond, and then some more, in their efforts to protect and direct their child. But this can sometimes end up creating more harm than good.

According to psychology, there are certain signs that can indicate if you were overparented. And trust me, it’s an eye-opener.

In this article, I’m going to walk you through 8 signs that your parents may have overdone it. This isn’t a blame game – it’s about understanding our past to better shape our future.

1) Difficulty with decision making

Decision making is one of the first casualties in the life of a child who has been overparented.

You see, when parents consistently step in to make decisions for their child or solve their problems, the child may not develop the necessary skills to make decisions independently.

This might seem like a small thing but think about it. From simple everyday choices like what to wear or eat, to bigger life decisions like which college to attend or career path to choose, we make decisions all the time.

And if you find yourself constantly struggling with decision-making as an adult, there’s a good chance you were overparented as a child.

2) Fear of failure

Oh boy, this one hits close to home for me.

Growing up, my parents had high expectations. They were always pushing me to excel academically and in every other area of my life. While their intention was good, the fear of failure they instilled in me was not.

I remember one time, I got a B on a math test. Instead of them asking how they could help me understand the material better, they asked why I didn’t get an A. That moment stuck with me and became a recurring theme in my life.

Fast forward to adulthood, this fear of failure has often held me back. I’ve found myself avoiding risks or new opportunities because I was afraid I wouldn’t succeed.

If you too find yourself paralyzed by the fear of failure, it might be a sign that you were overparented. 

3) Lack of life skills

Overparenting often involves parents doing things for their children that they could do themselves. This includes everything from tying their shoelaces to filling out their college applications.

This might seem helpful in the moment, but it can lead to an alarming lack of life skills in adulthood.

In a study, it was found that college students with helicopter parents were less open to new ideas and actions, and were more vulnerable, anxious, and self-conscious.

If you find yourself struggling with basic life skills, unable to do things like manage your finances or cook a simple meal, it could be a sign that you were overparented.

But don’t worry, it’s never too late to learn these skills and become more self-reliant.

4) Difficulty dealing with stress

Stress is a part of life, but how we deal with it can say a lot about our upbringing.

Overparented children are often shielded from stressful situations by their over-protective parents. While this might seem like a good thing, it can actually hinder the child’s ability to develop coping mechanisms for stress.

As a result, these children may grow into adults who find it challenging to handle stressful situations. They may panic or feel overwhelmed when faced with stress because they haven’t learned how to cope with it in a healthy way.

If you find yourself having a hard time dealing with stress, feeling overwhelmed or anxious at the first sign of trouble, it might be a sign that you were overparented.

5) Low self-esteem

When parents take over every aspect of their child’s life, it sends a subtle message to the child – that they aren’t capable of doing things on their own.

This can lead to low self-esteem, as the child may begin to doubt their abilities and skills. They may constantly seek approval from others and struggle with feelings of self-worth.

If you find yourself constantly doubting your capabilities, seeking validation from others, or battling with a low sense of self-worth, it might be a sign that you were overparented.

However, self-esteem is something that can be built over time. It begins with recognizing your worth and believing in your abilities.

6) Fear of confrontation

Growing up with overprotective parents can sometimes mean that disagreements or confrontations are avoided at all costs. Everything is done to maintain a peaceful, conflict-free environment.

But life isn’t always smooth sailing, is it?

Disagreements and confrontations are a part of life and learning how to handle them is crucial. However, if you’ve been overparented, you might find confrontations extremely uncomfortable and go to great lengths to avoid them.

If your heart races at the thought of a disagreement or if you find yourself swallowing your feelings to avoid conflict, it could be an echo from an overparented past.

7) Over-reliance on parents

I remember moving out for college and realizing I had no idea how to do my own laundry. I would call my mom up every week to ask her what settings to use on the washing machine.

This over-reliance on parents is a common sign of being overparented. From laundry to bills to cooking, if you find yourself constantly turning to your parents for things you should be able to handle on your own, you might have been overparented.

While it’s natural to lean on parents for advice and support, it’s also important to become self-reliant. Remember, it’s never too late to learn and grow.

8) Difficulty taking risks

Risk-taking is a part of life. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, applying for a new job, or moving to a new city, taking risks helps us grow and learn.

However, overparented children are often sheltered from taking risks. They are kept in a safe and comfortable bubble where they’re saved from failure or harm.

As adults, this can translate into an aversion to risk-taking. If you find yourself always choosing the safe option, afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone, it could be related to your childhood.

Final thoughts: The journey to self-awareness

Understanding the roots of our behaviors and tendencies is a vital step towards self-improvement and growth.

If you’ve identified with some or all of the signs we’ve discussed, it could be that you were overparented. But remember, this isn’t about blaming your parents or feeling stuck in your patterns. It’s about gaining awareness.

In the wise words of psychologist Carl Jung, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Whether it’s struggling with decision-making or fear of failure, these are not fixed aspects of who you are. They are simply indicators of experiences that have shaped you.

Acknowledging these signs is the first step towards understanding yourself better and making conscious changes. And remember, it’s never too late to learn and evolve.

After all, our past may shape us, but it does not define us.