If you’re like me, you’re your own worst critic. Sometimes, we set the bar so high for ourselves that it’s virtually unreachable, leading to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

Psychology tells us that unrealistic expectations can be harmful. They can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression.

But how do you know if your expectations are unrealistic? Well, there are certain tell-tale signs. And I’m here to share these with you.

In this article, we’ll explore 9 signs that you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, according to psychology. It’s time to take a step back and evaluate how we’re treating ourselves.

1) You’re always disappointed with yourself

We all have those days when things don’t quite pan out the way we envisioned. But if you find that you’re constantly feeling disappointed or dissatisfied with your efforts, it might be a sign that you have unrealistic expectations of yourself.

Psychology suggests that a certain amount of self-criticism can be beneficial. It helps us recognize our errors and areas for improvement. But when it becomes a constant, overwhelming voice in your head, it’s time to reassess.

Are you setting goals that are too lofty? Are you expecting perfection in every task?

Remember, it’s okay to strive for excellence, but it’s also important to acknowledge that we’re all human and mistakes are part of the learning process.

So if you’re always beating yourself up for not meeting your own standards, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate if those standards are realistic in the first place.

2) You’re constantly comparing yourself to others

I remember a time in my life when I would scroll through social media and find myself feeling down. I saw people traveling, achieving career milestones, or simply looking like they had it all together. I felt like I was lagging behind.

Psychology tells us that this constant comparison to others is a clear sign of having unrealistic expectations of oneself. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life, especially through the rose-tinted glasses of social media, and feel like we’re not doing enough.

But here’s the thing I had to learn the hard way: everyone is on their own unique journey. The pace and path of your life shouldn’t be dictated by someone else’s achievements or experiences.

It’s okay to find inspiration in others, but don’t let their lives set the bar for your own. Your journey is just that – yours. 

3) You struggle to accept compliments

Have you ever been complimented for a job well done and immediately deflected it or downplayed your achievement? This could be a sign of unrealistic self-expectations.

According to psychology, individuals with high self-expectations often struggle with compliments. They may feel they haven’t done enough to deserve the praise or that they could’ve done better.

Interestingly, a study found that people who reject or downplay compliments are more likely to have lower self-esteem and higher levels of depression and anxiety.

Learning to accept compliments graciously, without self-deprecation, is a step towards setting more realistic expectations of oneself. It’s not about becoming arrogant, but about acknowledging and appreciating your own worth and achievements.

4) You rarely celebrate your achievements

When was the last time you took a moment to celebrate your own achievements, no matter how small? If it’s been a while, or if you can’t remember at all, this could be another sign of unrealistic self-expectations.

People with high expectations of themselves often move from one task or goal to the next without taking the time to appreciate what they’ve accomplished. They are so focused on what’s next that they overlook their own success.

However, celebrating your achievements is crucial to maintaining motivation and positive self-esteem. It allows you to recognize your efforts and capabilities.

So, if you’re the type who brushes off your successes and immediately jumps into the next challenge, it may be time to slow down and give yourself the recognition you deserve.

5) You’re a chronic procrastinator

Procrastination is often seen as a sign of laziness or lack of discipline. But in many cases, it’s actually a symptom of unrealistic expectations.

When we set overly high standards for ourselves, the fear of not meeting those standards can be paralyzing. This fear often leads to procrastination. It’s a way of avoiding the potential disappointment or perceived failure that comes with not meeting our own expectations.

Breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable parts can help reduce procrastination. This approach also helps in setting more achievable expectations.

So if you find yourself constantly putting things off, it might be time to reassess your expectations and break your tasks down into more manageable chunks.

6) You constantly feel overwhelmed

Do you often find yourself feeling overwhelmed, like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? This could be another sign of unrealistic self-expectations.

When we expect too much of ourselves, it’s easy to feel like we’re drowning under the pressure. The tasks pile up, the to-do list seems never-ending, and it feels like there’s never enough time in the day to get everything done.

But remember this: It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to admit that you can’t do everything. You are human, and it’s normal to have limitations.

Psychology encourages us to delegate tasks when possible, prioritize our well-being, and understand that sometimes, good enough is perfectly fine. You don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders; you’re allowed to set it down once in a while.

7) You struggle with perfectionism

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. Whether it was a school project, a work task, or even a simple hobby, I would obsess over every little detail until it was just right. But in my quest for perfection, I often found myself stressed, frustrated, and never quite satisfied.

Psychology indicates that perfectionism is often linked to unrealistic self-expectations. We set an impossibly high standard for ourselves and anything less feels like failure.

But here’s the truth: perfection is an illusion. It’s unattainable. What’s more important is progress, growth, and continuous learning. It’s about doing your best and being okay with the fact that your best doesn’t have to mean perfect.

8) Your happiness is conditional

If you find yourself thinking, “I’ll be happy when I achieve this goal,” or “I’ll feel satisfied when I reach this milestone,” this mindset is a classic sign of unrealistic self-expectations.

Happiness shouldn’t be conditional on meeting certain criteria or achieving specific goals. While it’s important to have ambitions and strive for success, your contentment shouldn’t hinge solely on these factors.

Tue happiness comes from within. It’s about appreciating what you have now, celebrating your achievements, and taking pride in who you are at this moment.

So, if your happiness is always tied to a future accomplishment, it may be time to reassess your expectations and find joy in the present.