8 signs you have a deep connection with your partner, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | September 11, 2024, 9:36 am

Understanding the depth of your relationship isn’t always as straightforward as you might think. It’s not about how much time you spend together or how many shared interests you have. It’s about something deeper, something that psychology can help us understand.

Having a deep connection with your partner, according to psychology, encompasses several signs that are often overlooked. These signs can tell you whether your bond is merely surface-level, or if it penetrates deeper into the heart of what truly matters in a relationship.

Through my work as a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve learned to identify these signs and I’d love to share them with you.

Let’s dive into these eight signs that you share a profound bond with your partner – according to the fascinating world of psychology. Trust me, it’s a journey worth taking!

1) Deep understanding

In relationships, understanding goes far beyond knowing someone’s favorite color or type of food.

Psychology tells us that a deep connection is characterized by a profound understanding of your partner’s inner world. It’s about knowing their fears, dreams, aspirations, and the experiences that made them who they are today.

This level of understanding can’t be achieved overnight. It’s a result of countless conversations, shared experiences, and mutual vulnerability. It’s about letting your guard down and allowing your partner to see you for who you truly are – and vice versa.

Having this deep level of understanding indicates a strong bond between you and your partner. It shows that you’ve taken the time to truly get to know one another on a deeper level.

This isn’t about guessing what they’d like for dinner, but rather understanding why they react to certain situations in the way that they do, why they hold certain beliefs, and what their hopes are for the future.

Take a moment to reflect. Do you have this deep understanding of your partner? If so, rejoice! This is one sign that you share a deep connection with them.

2) Unspoken communication

As a relationship expert, one thing I’ve noticed in couples with deep connections is their ability to communicate without words. It’s like they have their own language, built on shared experiences and mutual understanding.

Psychology backs this up. Nonverbal communication, such as body language, eye contact, and even silence, can speak volumes about the strength of a relationship.

In fact, Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer researcher of body language in the 1950s, found that only 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements (facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc).

It’s not just about what we say, but how we say it and what our body is communicating too.

In your relationship, you might have noticed you and your partner sharing a knowing look across the room at a party or understanding exactly what they mean when they give you ‘that’ smile.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” And often, it’s those non-verbal cues that make us feel truly understood and connected.

If you and your significant other seem to communicate without even speaking sometimes, take it as a sign that your connection runs deep.

3) Mutual respect

Every strong relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect. And in my work as a relationship coach, I’ve found this to be one of the most telling signs of a deep connection.

Respect in a relationship means valuing each other’s opinions, listening to one another, and acknowledging each other’s feelings and needs. It’s about understanding that your partner is their own person with their own thoughts and feelings.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of maintaining individuality and respect in a relationship, and how these can actually strengthen the bond between partners.

If you find that your partner always respects your thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and vice versa, then you can likely count mutual respect as another sign of your deep connection.

4) Healthy disagreements

Contrary to what some might believe, having disagreements does not necessarily mean your relationship is in trouble. In fact, it can be a sign of a deep connection.

Yes, you read that right!

Psychology tells us that conflicts can be healthy for a relationship. Why? Because it means both of you are comfortable enough to voice your opinions and feelings, even when they differ.

A relationship without any disagreements could mean that one or both partners are suppressing their feelings to avoid conflict. This isn’t healthy in the long run and can lead to resentment.

Having healthy disagreements means you’re both able to express your feelings, listen to each other’s viewpoints, and find a compromise without resorting to hurtful words or actions.

When you find yourself in a disagreement with your partner, remember—it’s not about who wins the argument, but about how you handle it.

If you can resolve conflicts in a respectful and understanding way, it’s a clear indication of a deep connection.

5) Shared laughter

You know the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine”? Well, as it turns out, it also may be one of the best signs of a deep connection in a relationship.

I’ve been in the relationship space for years, and one thing that always strikes me about couples who share a deep connection is their ability to laugh together – at jokes, at life, and sometimes, at each other.

Psychology supports this. Studies have shown that shared laughter is a key indicator of romantic attraction and satisfaction in relationships. It signals that you’re on the same wavelength and can find joy and humor in the same situations.

If you and your partner share plenty of belly laughs together, it’s not just good for your mood – it’s likely a sign that you share a deep connection. After all, happiness is better when shared!

6) Comfort in silence

Sometimes, the deepest connections are found not in what we say to each other, but in what we don’t say.

Silence can be uncomfortable for many of us. We rush to fill it with small talk, afraid of what its emptiness might reveal. But in a deeply connected relationship, silence is not something to be feared.

There’s an incredible comfort that comes with being able to sit in the same room with your partner, each doing your own thing, without feeling the need to fill the air with words. It’s in these moments of shared silence that you realize you don’t need constant dialogue to feel close.

This isn’t about ignoring each other or avoiding conversation. On the contrary, it’s about feeling so secure in your relationship that you can enjoy each other’s company without needing constant validation or chatter.

7) Emotional support

In my experience as a relationship coach, one of the most beautiful aspects of a deep connection is the level of emotional support partners provide for each other.

Whether it’s a bad day at work, a family crisis, or personal insecurities, having your partner as your emotional rock can make all the difference. It’s about being there for each other through the highs and lows, offering comfort, understanding, and a listening ear.

As the legendary Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” This quote perfectly encapsulates the essence of emotional support in a relationship.

If your partner is there for you when you’re at your lowest, offering support and understanding without judgment, it’s a clear sign of a deeply rooted connection.

Similarly, if you find yourself instinctively wanting to be there for them during their tough times, it’s another sign that your bond runs deep.

8) Acceptance of flaws

Nobody is perfect, and we all carry with us a set of flaws and imperfections. The true test of a deep connection isn’t just about celebrating the best parts of each other, but accepting and loving the not-so-great parts too.

This acceptance doesn’t mean you ignore harmful behaviors or toxic traits. It’s about acknowledging that we all have quirks and faults, and still choosing to love each other despite them.

I’m talking about those idiosyncrasies that make us human — maybe your partner can’t keep a clean desk to save their life, or perhaps they have a tendency to overthink. If you can look at these traits and still say “I love you,” it’s a powerful sign of a deep connection.

If you find yourself fully accepting your partner’s flaws — and feeling accepted for your own — then it’s likely you share a profound bond. The raw honesty of such acceptance is a true hallmark of deep connection.

Conclusion

To wrap up, these eight signs are strong indicators of a deep, meaningful connection with your partner. But remember, every relationship is unique. You may not tick all these boxes and that’s okay. What matters most is that your relationship feels fulfilling and right for you.

For deeper insights into emotional bonds and overcoming challenges in relationships, I invite you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Here’s to deep connections, understanding, and lasting love.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.