There’s a thin line between being assertive and being difficult.

Sometimes, we unknowingly cross that line and end up being a source of stress for others around us. It’s not always easy to see it in ourselves, but there are some telltale signs.

Recognizing these signs is the first step to improving your interpersonal relationships and making life easier for both you and the people around you.

Here, I’ll share 8 signs that you might be a difficult person, even if you’re not aware of it. 

Let’s get started. 

1) You’re always right

Have you ever met someone who’s never wrong? It’s not an easy interaction, is it?

Well, that could be you. A common trait amongst difficult people is the inability to accept that they could be mistaken. They stick to their guns, refusing to consider alternative perspectives or admit when they’re wrong.

This stubbornness doesn’t only make you difficult to deal with, it also stifles growth and learning. After all, admitting our mistakes and learning from them is a key part of personal development.

2) You find it hard to let things go

Here’s a personal story. I used to be the kind of person who held grudges. If someone wronged me, I’d hold on to that resentment for weeks, even months. It wasn’t until a dear friend pointed it out that I realized how unhealthy and, frankly, exhausting it was.

Turns out, holding grudges is a classic sign of being a difficult person. It’s the inability to forgive and move on from past wrongs. And it doesn’t just make you difficult to be around, it also harms your mental health.

If you’re like how I used to be, holding on to every slight and wrong done to you, it might be an indication that you’re a difficult person. More importantly, it’s a sign that you could benefit from learning some forgiveness and letting go. Life’s too short for unnecessary grudges after all.

3) You struggle with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows us to connect with people on a deep level. However, some people struggle with this essential human trait.

Research from the University of Michigan reveals that empathy levels have significantly dropped in recent years. This decline in our ability to empathize can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and yes, it can make us difficult to be around.

If you find it hard to put yourself in others’ shoes, or if you often dismiss other people’s feelings as unimportant, you may be more challenging to deal with than you realize. Developing a sense of empathy can go a long way in improving your relationships and overall interpersonal skills.

4) You dominate conversations

We all enjoy a good chat, right? Sharing our thoughts, ideas, and experiences can be fun and enriching. However, there’s an art to balancing speaking and listening in a conversation, and not everyone masters it.

If you tend to monopolize discussions, always steering them back to your experiences or viewpoints, it could be a sign of being difficult. Conversations are a two-way street, and people can feel unheard or unimportant if they’re constantly being overshadowed.

5) You struggle with change

Change is a constant part of life. It can be scary, confusing, and even painful, but it’s necessary for growth and progress. Some of us, however, find it particularly challenging to deal with change.

If you often find yourself resisting change or becoming easily upset when things don’t go as planned, it could signal that you’re a difficult person to be around. This resistance can put a strain on your relationships, as it can make others feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you.

Embracing change isn’t easy, but it’s a crucial part of personal growth. It allows us to adapt, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. And who wouldn’t want that?

6) You often feel misunderstood

I used to always feel like no one really got me. It was like I was speaking a different language from everyone else, and it was incredibly isolating.

This feeling, though painful, can sometimes be a sign of being a difficult person. It might mean that you’re not effectively communicating your thoughts and feelings or that you’re not making an effort to understand others.

Understanding and being understood is a two-way street. It requires openness, patience, and sometimes a bit of compromise. If you often feel misunderstood, it might be worth examining your communication skills and seeing where there might be room for improvement.

7) You don’t handle criticism well

Criticism, when given constructively, can be a valuable tool for personal growth. However, not everyone takes it well. If you find yourself immediately getting defensive or upset when faced with criticism, it could be a sign that you’re difficult.

Not all criticism is an attack. Sometimes, it’s just someone trying to help you grow.

Learning to accept and learn from criticism, rather than fighting against it, can make you easier to be around and open up new pathways for personal development.

8) You have trouble maintaining relationships

Perhaps the most telling sign of being a difficult person is having trouble maintaining meaningful relationships. If you frequently find yourself in conflict with others, or if people seem to drift away from you over time, it’s worth taking a look at your behavior.

Relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and compromise. If these elements are missing, it can be hard to form lasting bonds with others.

Final thoughts: It’s about growth

Human behavior is a complex interplay of our upbringing, experiences, beliefs, and countless other factors. But one thing remains constant – our capacity for growth and change.

Recognizing these eight signs in yourself doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be a difficult person forever. On the contrary, it’s an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

Think of it as a wake-up call, a chance to take a step back and evaluate how you interact with the world around you. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about being easy or difficult to deal with. It’s about becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be.

So take this as an opportunity to grow.

After all, as renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”

So why not make that direction one of self-improvement and empathy? It might be challenging, but it’s definitely worth the journey.