8 signs that a man lacks common decency and honesty, according to psychology

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | October 25, 2024, 12:08 am

Navigating the dating world can be a real challenge, especially when you’re trying to distinguish the genuine from the deceitful.

Decency and honesty are traits that everyone should have, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Psychology has given us tools to spot signs of a man lacking these crucial qualities.

In this piece, we’ll delve into eight tell-tale signs to help you spot a man who lacks common decency and honesty. So, let’s cut to the chase and start decoding these behavioral red flags.

1) He’s inconsistent

Consistency is the bedrock of honesty. When someone is truthful, their stories, actions, and behaviors align.

Psychology tells us that inconsistency can be a major red flag. If a man’s words don’t match his actions, or his stories keep changing with each telling, it’s a clear sign of dishonesty.

Honest people have nothing to hide, so their narrative remains stable. But when a man lacks honesty, he’ll often struggle to keep his tall tales straight.

This isn’t about small slip-ups or forgetfulness; we’re talking about substantial inconsistencies that keep cropping up.

So, if you’re dealing with a man whose stories seem to shift like quicksand, it’s time to take note. He may lack the common decency and honesty you deserve.

2) He avoids eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It’s a sign of respect, attention, and, you guessed it, honesty.

According to psychology, people who consistently avoid eye contact can be seen as less trustworthy. It could indicate that they’re hiding something or not being completely honest.

Let me share a personal experience. I once dated a guy who could never look me in the eye when we were having serious discussions. It was as if he was constantly distracted or uninterested. I later discovered he had been lying about some pretty important things.

Of course, this isn’t to say that everyone who avoids eye contact is dishonest. Some people might just be shy or have social anxiety. But when this trait is coupled with other red flags on this list, it could be a sign of someone lacking in decency and honesty.

3) He often blames others

When things go wrong, it’s easy to point fingers. But a man of decency and honesty takes responsibility for his actions, even when the outcome is unfavorable.

Blame-shifting is a psychological defense mechanism used to protect one’s ego. It’s a way of avoiding accountability for one’s own actions by pinning the fault on someone else.

Did you know that blame-shifting has been observed in several psychological studies as being linked with narcissism and manipulation? It’s a technique often used by those who lack honesty to dodge the consequences of their actions.

So, if you notice a man consistently blaming others for his mistakes, it might be a sign that he lacks common decency and honesty.

4) He breaks promises

Trust is built on the foundation of kept promises. It’s a clear expectation in any relationship whether it’s familial, platonic or romantic.

Now, we’re all human and sometimes circumstances may prevent us from fulfilling a promise. That’s understandable.

However, if a man consistently breaks promises, especially without a valid reason or sincere apology, it might be a sign of a deeper issue.

Psychology suggests that habitual promise-breaking could indicate a lack of respect for the other person’s time and feelings. It’s a clear sign of someone who lacks decency and honesty.

Therefore, if you find yourself dealing with a man who rarely keeps his word, be cautious. He may not value honesty and decency as much as you do.

5) He lacks empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.

When a man lacks empathy, it can be genuinely disheartening. You might find that he struggles to understand your feelings or seems indifferent to your experiences.

Psychology tells us that empathy is closely linked to honesty. Those who can empathize are more likely to value honesty as they understand the impact of their actions on others.

If you’re dealing with a man who struggles to show empathy, it might be more than just a personality quirk. It could be a sign that he lacks the common decency and honesty that forms the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Remember, everyone deserves to be heard and understood. Don’t settle for less.

6) He’s secretive

Being private and being secretive are two different things. Everyone is entitled to personal space and privacy, but when a man becomes overly secretive, it can raise some red flags.

I remember a time when I was dating a guy who was extremely secretive about his past. It felt like he was guarding a fortress that I wasn’t allowed to enter. As it turned out, he had a history of dishonesty and manipulation that he was trying to hide.

Psychology suggests that excessive secrecy can often be associated with dishonesty. If information is consistently being hidden or withheld, there’s a chance he’s not being entirely honest with you.

So if you’re dealing with a man who seems to have more secrets than truths, tread carefully. It could be a sign of deeper issues related to honesty and decency.

7) He’s quick to anger

Anger is a normal human emotion, but the way it’s expressed can say a lot about a person’s character.

Psychology tells us that those who are quick to anger often struggle with impulse control. This lack of control can extend to honesty, causing them to lie or act deceitfully in the heat of the moment.

If a man is constantly losing his temper over minor issues, it could be more than just a bad temper. It might be an indication of a lack of common decency and honesty.

It’s important to remember that everyone deserves respect and kindness. If a man can’t control his anger, it’s worth considering whether he can control his honesty.

8) He lacks remorse

Remorse is a sign of a healthy conscience. It shows that a person recognizes their mistakes and feels genuine guilt for any harm they’ve caused.

A man who lacks remorse, however, is a cause for concern. Psychology suggests that this could indicate a lack of empathy and honesty. If he doesn’t feel guilty for his wrongdoings, what’s to stop him from repeating them?

Remember this: Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s the ability to feel remorse and learn from these mistakes that distinguishes the honest from the dishonest. Without remorse, there’s no growth, no learning, and most importantly, no honesty.

Final thoughts: It all comes down to respect

At the core of decency and honesty lies a profound respect for others. This respect is what keeps us accountable, encourages us to be truthful, and drives us to uphold our commitments.

Psychology tells us that those who lack decency and honesty often struggle with this fundamental value. They may not understand the impact of their actions on others, or they may simply choose to disregard it.

Deciphering the signs of a man who lacks common decency and honesty is not just about identifying negative traits. It’s also about understanding what you deserve in your relationships.

Remember this: Respect, honesty, and decency are not optional extras in a relationship. They are fundamental necessities. And everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, respect, and honesty.

As you navigate your relationships, keep these signs in mind. They are not just red flags to avoid, but reminders of the standards you should hold for yourself and others. Because at the end of the day, we all deserve relationships built on respect, honesty, and decency.