Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to trust.

Trust is crucial. Without it, relationships flounder. But how can you tell if someone truly deserves your trust?

Psychology offers some telltale signs. Let’s explore eight of these signs that may suggest someone isn’t entirely trustworthy.

Stay tuned to learn how to better navigate the delicate world of trust and relationships.

1) They’re inconsistent

Consistency is the key to trustworthiness.

Reliable people are consistent in their actions and words. Their behavior does not drastically change based on the situation or the people they’re dealing with.

Psychology suggests that inconsistency may be a sign that someone is not entirely trustworthy.

Say, for instance, you have a friend who is warm and friendly one moment and cold and distant the next. Or a colleague who sings your praises in one meeting but belittles your ideas in another.

These inconsistencies can be red flags. They suggest that the person may not be sincere in their interactions.

In essence, if someone’s behavior seems erratic or unpredictable, you might want to think twice before placing your full trust in them.

2) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is more than just a social etiquette. It’s a non-verbal cue that psychologists often associate with honesty and transparency.

I remember an instance from my own life that illustrates this point. I had a roommate in college, let’s call him John. John had this habit of avoiding eye contact when he was being dishonest.

One day, he came home late and I asked him where he’d been. He told me he was studying at the library, but his eyes were darting around the room, unable to meet mine. Later, I found out from a mutual friend that he’d actually been at a party.

This incident taught me a valuable lesson: when someone avoids eye contact, it may be a sign they’re hiding something.

So, if you notice someone consistently avoiding your gaze, especially during important conversations, it could be a sign they’re not entirely trustworthy.

3) They’re quick to blame others

In the world of psychology, there’s a term known as ‘externalizing blame’. It refers to the tendency of a person to shift the blame onto others instead of accepting their own faults and mistakes.

Individuals who consistently blame others for their own missteps and failures can be hard to trust. This is because they refuse to take responsibility for their actions, which is a crucial trait in any trustworthy person.

Interestingly, externalizing blame is also associated with several personality disorders, including narcissistic personality disorder. It’s a defense mechanism used to preserve one’s self-esteem but at the cost of honesty and accountability.

Therefore, if you notice someone habitually shifting the blame onto others, it may be a sign that they’re not entirely trustworthy.

4) They break promises

Promises are meant to be kept, not broken.

When someone consistently fails to keep their promises, it’s a clear sign they might not be as trustworthy as you initially thought. It shows a lack of commitment and respect for the other person’s time and feelings.

Whether it’s a small promise like picking up groceries on the way home, or a larger commitment like completing an important work assignment, breaking promises can erode trust quickly.

If you find yourself constantly disappointed by broken promises, it might be time to reevaluate the level of trust you place in that person.

5) They’re secretive

Trust is built on openness and honesty. When someone frequently hides things or is intentionally vague about their actions, it can be disconcerting.

It’s like a garden. Trust needs sunlight, transparency, to grow. But secrecy acts like a big shady tree in the middle of this garden. It blocks the sunlight, halting the growth of trust.

Nobody is obligated to share every aspect of their life, of course. We all have our private matters. But when secrecy becomes a consistent pattern, it might be a sign that the person isn’t entirely trustworthy.

So, if you find someone in your life cloaked in secrecy more often than not, it could be a signal that there’s more beneath the surface that they’re not letting you see.

6) They gossip a lot

Gossiping can be entertaining, but it’s not a habit shared by trustworthy people.

I learned this the hard way when I had a friend who was always eager to share the latest gossip. At first, it seemed harmless and even fun. But then I started noticing she was also talking about me behind my back.

It made me realize that if someone is willing to talk about others, they’re probably willing to talk about you too. And that’s not a quality you look for in a trustworthy person.

A person who engages in gossip frequently may not respect privacy, and that lack of respect can undermine trust. So, be wary of someone who seems to thrive on gossip.

7) They struggle with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a critical component of trust.

When someone lacks empathy, it can be difficult to trust them with your feelings or personal experiences. You may feel like they don’t truly understand or value your perspective.

It’s like sharing a painful story with someone, only for them to brush it off or make light of it. It hurts and can make you hesitant to open up to that person again.

So, if you notice a lack of empathy in someone, it could be a sign that they may not be entirely trustworthy.

8) They have a history of dishonesty

This is perhaps the most straightforward sign: a past filled with lies and deceit.

As the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” If someone has repeatedly been dishonest in the past, it’s wise to question their trustworthiness now.

Dishonesty leaves a lasting mark. It tarnishes one’s reputation and makes it hard for others to trust them again.

So, if someone has a track record of lying or deceitful behavior, it’s a strong indication that they may not be the most trustworthy individual.