8 signs someone is almost certainly not a good person (even if they seem nice on the surface)

It’s a harsh truth, but not everyone who seems nice is actually a good person.
Sometimes, it’s all just an act to hide their true colors. And believe me, once you spot the signs, it becomes crystal clear.
There are certain tell-tale signs that can reveal whether someone is truly good at heart or not. At first glance, these signs might seem insignificant, but as you dig deeper, they reveal a lot about a person’s character.
In this article, I’ll share 8 signs that can help you determine if someone is not really a good person, despite their friendly exterior. It’s all about observing and understanding—let’s dive right in.
1) They always play the victim
We all face challenges, and it’s okay to express our frustrations once in a while. But if you know someone who always portrays themselves as the victim, no matter what the situation, it’s time to raise an eyebrow.
This kind of behavior is a classic manipulation tactic. It’s all about shifting the blame and avoiding responsibility for their actions.
When someone constantly plays the victim, they are essentially trying to control how others see them. They want to appear innocent and garner sympathy, even when they are at fault.
If someone you know rarely admits their mistakes and often blames others for their problems, it might be a sign that they’re not as good a person as they seem on the surface.
It’s not about never being in tough situations—it’s about how they handle those situations that defines them.
2) They never keep their promises
Promises are meant to be kept. But there are those who make them frivolously, with no real intention of keeping them. This is another indicator of a not-so-nice person.
I remember an old friend of mine, Jack. He always promised to make time for our plans but would bail at the last minute with some excuse or another. At first, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But after it happened repeatedly, I realized that he had a pattern of making promises he didn’t intend to keep.
It wasn’t just about our plans either. He would frequently promise to help others, only to leave them high and dry when they needed him.
This kind of behavior shows a lack of respect for others’ time and feelings. It’s a sign that they may not be as good as they seem on the surface. So, if you encounter someone who makes promises lightly and breaks them often, it might be time to question their character.
3) They constantly belittle others
Belittling others is a clear sign of an individual who isn’t as good-hearted as they may appear. This behavior is often a defense mechanism used to hide insecurities and make the person feel superior.
Did you know that studies have shown individuals who belittle others often do so because they feel threatened or inferior? By putting others down, they attempt to boost their own self-esteem and assert dominance.
But a truly good person doesn’t need to demean others to feel good about themselves. They understand that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and there’s no need to highlight the latter at the expense of someone’s feelings.
4) They’re always right
Ever met someone who just can’t accept they’re wrong? It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
Someone who insists they’re always right is showing a lack of humility and an inability to accept their own fallibility. This type of person rarely accepts constructive criticism and often dismisses others’ perspectives out of hand.
In healthy relationships, disagreements happen. But it’s the ability to listen, understand, and sometimes admit you’re wrong that shows real strength of character.
If you come across someone who can never admit their mistakes and insists on always being right, it could be a sign that they’re not as good a person as they initially appear.
5) They lack empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows us to connect with people on a deeper level and is a crucial aspect of being a good person.
Unfortunately, not everyone possesses this quality. There are people who struggle to empathize with others, particularly when they’re experiencing something that they themselves have never gone through.
It’s heartbreaking, isn’t it? To share your struggles or joys with someone, only to have them dismiss or trivialize your feelings.
A lack of empathy is more than just an inability to connect; it’s a sign of disregard for others’ experiences and emotions. If you encounter someone who consistently shows a lack of empathy, it might be time to question whether they’re truly as nice as they seem on the surface.
6) They’re always gossiping
Gossiping is one of those things that can seem harmless at first, but it’s actually a tell-tale sign of a not-so-good person.
I had a coworker once, Sarah, who always seemed to know the latest about everyone in the office. At first, I found it entertaining. But soon, I realized that her gossiping was hurting people. It was spreading rumors, creating distrust, and damaging relationships.
She even started sharing personal details about me that I’d confided in her—things I’d trusted her to keep to herself.
It was a painful lesson, but it taught me that people who gossip freely can’t be trusted to respect boundaries or maintain confidences. If you come across someone who’s always ready to share the latest gossip, it might be a sign they’re not as good a person as they appear to be.
7) They don’t respect boundaries
Respect for boundaries is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship. Boundaries set the limits for acceptable behavior from those around us.
However, not everyone understands or respects these boundaries. Some people may consistently ignore your wishes or push past your comfort zone without a second thought.
This lack of respect for boundaries shows a disregard for your feelings and autonomy. It’s a sign that they value their own desires over your comfort and well-being.
8) They take more than they give
The most important thing to understand about people who aren’t really as good as they seem is that they often take more than they give.
Relationships should be about give and take. It’s about supporting each other, being there for each other, and sharing with each other. But if you find that someone is always on the receiving end and rarely reciprocates, it might be a red flag.
This imbalance can be emotional, where they demand support but offer none in return, or it can be materialistic, where they always expect you to pay or provide for them.
In either case, an individual who consistently takes more than they give is showing a lack of consideration and respect for others. It’s a clear sign that they might not be as good a person as they seem on the surface.