There’s a fine line between sharing and oversharing, particularly when it comes to our secrets.

Yes, even with those dear friends who know your heart and soul.

The thing is, some secrets are like keys. Once they’re out there, they can unlock doors that might be better left closed.

So, how do you discern what to share and what to keep close to your chest? I’ve put together a list of eight secrets that are better kept under wraps.

Below is the introduction for the article titled “8 secrets you should never share, even with close friends”. The article is written in the first person, following a similar conversational style as above with similar paragraph spacing, simple and informal language. Just follow that same style, but make sure the introduction you write is focused on “8 secrets you should never share, even with close friends”, and that it’s more succinct (shorter).

1) Past transgressions

We’ve all made mistakes in our past that we’re not proud of.

These could be anything from petty theft during adolescence, a hit-and-run incident or even infidelity. These are the kind of secrets that can dramatically change how people see you, even those closest to you.

Sharing these might seem like a cathartic release, but it can also lead to unwanted judgment or a shift in dynamics within your friendship.

Sure, honesty is important in any relationship. However, some things from your past should remain there if they don’t serve any constructive purpose in your present.

So, unless sharing these secrets is absolutely necessary for some reason, it’s better to keep them under lock and key.

2) Your deepest fears

I remember once sharing my deepest fear with a close friend – a fear of failing as a writer. Instead of the solidarity I expected, it led to an awkward shift in our friendship.

My friend, perhaps unintentionally, began to highlight every little failure I encountered within my writing career. It felt as if my vulnerability had backfired and turned into ammunition for doubt.

Sharing your deepest fears can sometimes lead to unintentional harm. It might instigate your friends to tiptoe around you or even worse, highlight your fears more frequently.

Unless you’re sharing in a supportive space like therapy or counselling, it’s wise to keep these fears tucked away.

3) Family issues

In 2019, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that sharing too much information about family strife, such as marital issues or problematic children, can lead to decreased relationship satisfaction with friends.

While it’s normal to vent about family issues occasionally, constantly discussing them can put stress on your friendships. It can lead your friends to feel burdened or uncomfortable, especially if they’re close to your family members as well.

So remember, while your friends are there for support, don’t let your family drama overshadow the positivity in your friendship.

4) Financial details

Money matters can often lead to uncomfortable situations.

Discussing your salary, debts, or financial struggles might seem like no big deal, but it can often change the dynamics of a friendship. It may lead to feelings of envy, pity, or even resentment.

Moreover, it can also make your friends feel obligated to lend you money, or feel awkward about discussing their own financial situation.

So, unless it’s absolutely necessary, keeping your financial details to yourself might be the best course of action.

5) Personal health issues

Being open about health issues can be therapeutic and even vital in some cases. But there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

Sharing every detail of an ongoing health struggle can be overwhelming for friends. Yes, they care about you and want to support you, but they may not be equipped to handle the gravity of your situation.

And sometimes, divulging such personal struggles can unconsciously shift your friendship dynamic from an equal footing to a caregiver-role.

Remember, your friends are there for emotional support, but they aren’t medical professionals. It’s always best to seek professional help when dealing with serious health issues.

6) Negative opinions about their loved ones

I once made the mistake of sharing a negative opinion about a friend’s partner. It didn’t end well.

Comments about your friend’s loved ones, be it their partner, family, or even their pets, should be treaded upon carefully. Even if you mean well, it can come off as intrusive and disrespectful.

It’s important to remember that your perspective might differ from your friend’s. What may seem obvious to you could be something they’re blissfully unaware of, or worse, something they choose to ignore.

So choose your words wisely when it comes to discussing your friends’ loved ones.

7) Self-doubts and insecurities

We all have our moments of self-doubt and insecurities. It’s only human.

However, consistently sharing these doubts and insecurities with your friends can sometimes lead to them perceiving you as less confident or capable.

Moreover, it can also put them in a position where they constantly have to reassure you, which can be emotionally draining.

Remember, it’s absolutely fine to share your feelings, but don’t let your self-doubt become the main theme of your conversations.

8) Secrets of others

If someone has entrusted you with a secret, it’s your responsibility to keep it.

Sharing other people’s secrets, even with your closest friends, is a breach of trust that can lead to damaged relationships. It’s not just about the potential harm to the person whose secret you spill, but also about the trust your friends place in you.

In essence, respecting other people’s secrets is a fundamental part of maintaining healthy and respectful relationships.

At the heart of it all: Trust

The essence of any strong friendship often boils down to one key element: trust.

Trust can be seen as the invisible thread that keeps friendships intact, despite the passing of time and the trials of life.

In the context of secrets, trust plays a dual role. On one hand, it’s about trusting your friend with certain aspects of your life. On the other, it’s about knowing which secrets to keep to yourself to maintain that trust.

Preserving certain secrets doesn’t mean you’re being dishonest or insincere. It’s merely a way of respecting boundaries and ensuring the health and longevity of your friendships.

As author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said, “The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others.”

So as we navigate through our own journeys, let’s remember the power of silence and the wisdom in knowing when to share, and when to simply listen.