Navigating through life, you’ve likely encountered that one person who never seems to keep their word. You know the type – always brimming with promises, yet rarely delivering. It’s a frustrating cycle, isn’t it?

You’ve probably tried to understand them, or even confronted them about their reliability. But all you’ve gotten are excuses, each one more elaborate than the last.

It’s not always a grand spectacle of deception. Sometimes it’s subtle – a small phrase here, a vague comment there. Little white lies that slowly chip away at your trust.

Now, let’s delve into this further. Here are eight phrases that unreliable people often use to defend their lack of reliability, backed by psychology. While it can be tempting to give them the benefit of the doubt, knowing these phrases could help you spot an unreliable person before they let you down again.

Get ready, because we’re about to lift the veil on these well-worn excuses.

1. “I forgot”

The age-old excuse, isn’t it? “I forgot”. It’s simple, it’s straightforward, and it’s one that unreliable people seem to have on speed dial.

This phrase can be thrown around so casually, you might almost believe it. And sure, we all forget things from time to time. But when this becomes a recurring theme, it’s a red flag.

Psychology tells us that forgetting is not always unintentional. Sometimes, it’s a defense mechanism – a subconscious attempt to avoid responsibility.

So next time you hear “I forgot”, remember – it may just be an easy escape route for someone who doesn’t want to own up to their lack of reliability. Don’t be fooled by this seemingly innocent phrase – it’s often a telltale sign of an unreliable person.

2. “I’ve been really busy”

Now, here’s another classic – “I’ve been really busy”. I mean, who isn’t busy these days? But does that excuse a lack of reliability? I don’t think so.

I remember a time when I had a colleague named John. He was notorious for missing deadlines and when confronted, he would always say he’s been swamped with work.

Sure, we all have hectic days. But it became clear that for John, being “busy” was more of an excuse than an explanation. He was using this phrase to deflect responsibility and to avoid accountability.

Psychology tells us that people often use such excuses to manipulate others into sympathizing with their situation. It’s a way of playing the victim card without actually saying it.

So be wary of those who are perpetually “busy”. It might just be another way for them to avoid owning up to their unreliability.

3. “It’s not my fault”

Albert Einstein once said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” True, isn’t it? We all make mistakes, and part of growing is owning up to them.

But you’ll find some people who seem to have an uncanny ability to dodge responsibility. Their go-to phrase? “It’s not my fault”.

This phrase is a convenient way to shift blame and avoid taking responsibility. It’s a tactic that unreliable people often use to deflect attention away from their actions.

According to psychology, this is a classic sign of defensiveness and avoidance. Instead of acknowledging their shortcomings, they find someone or something else to pin it on.

So when you hear “It’s not my fault”, take it with a grain of salt. More often than not, it’s just an attempt to sidestep accountability. Remember, as Einstein said, making mistakes is human, but refusing to admit them is definitely not.

4. “I didn’t have time”

Time – that elusive, constant entity that seems to slip through our fingers. But did you know that we all get the same 24 hours a day? That’s a fact.

Yet, how often do you hear someone say, “I didn’t have time”? It’s a common phrase, especially amongst those who struggle with reliability.

In reality, it’s not about having time. It’s about making time. We prioritize what matters to us. So when someone constantly uses this excuse, it might be an indication of their priorities rather than their schedule.

Psychology suggests that individuals who frequently use this phrase often struggle with time management or have a tendency to overcommit and underdeliver.

So the next time you hear “I didn’t have time”, consider it a red flag. It’s often a clear indicator of someone who is not reliable or does not value others’ time.

5. “Something came up”

Life is unpredictable, and unexpected things do come up. But if you find someone constantly using the phrase “Something came up” as an excuse, it might be time to question their reliability.

This vague phrase is a catch-all excuse that can cover a multitude of situations. It’s non-specific, hard to argue with, and often leaves the other person feeling guilty for questioning it.

Psychology indicates that people who frequently use this excuse often struggle with confrontation and prefer indirect communication. They may also have a tendency to avoid commitment.

So when you hear “Something came up”, remember it could be a sign of unreliability. It’s a convenient way for an unreliable person to wriggle out of commitments without giving any real explanation.

6. “I didn’t realize it was that important”

Here’s another phrase to watch out for – “I didn’t realize it was that important”. It’s a classic deflection tactic, and one that unreliable people tend to use frequently.

This phrase subtly shifts the blame onto you. It implies that you failed to communicate the importance of the task or commitment, thereby excusing their lack of follow-through.

But here’s the thing. In a professional or personal relationship, it’s not always your responsibility to emphasize the importance of every single task or commitment. People should have a basic understanding of their responsibilities.

Psychology suggests that this phrase is often used by individuals who lack empathy or have poor communication skills. They often struggle to understand others’ perspectives and priorities.

So when you hear “I didn’t realize it was that important”, take note. It could be a clear sign of someone who is not reliable.

7. “I thought I told you”

Communication is key in any relationship, but sometimes you’ll encounter people who try to shift the blame onto others with phrases like “I thought I told you”.

This phrase is a subtle way of evading responsibility by implying that the fault lies not in their lack of action, but in your lack of understanding or memory.

But the truth is, if something is important enough, it’s their responsibility to ensure that the message has been received and understood.

Psychology suggests that those who frequently use this phrase may be prone to overestimating their own communication skills, or they may simply be trying to cover up their own forgetfulness or lack of attention to detail.

So when you hear “I thought I told you”, don’t be too quick to doubt your own memory or comprehension. It could just be another excuse from an unreliable person trying to shift the blame.

8. “I’ll make it up to you”

Lastly, let’s talk about the phrase “I’ll make it up to you”. On the surface, it sounds like a sincere promise to rectify a situation, doesn’t it? But in reality, it’s often used as a band-aid solution by unreliable people to temporarily placate those they’ve let down.

This phrase is an attempt to deflect attention away from the current disappointment and focus it on a future promise instead. It’s a way of buying time and avoiding immediate consequences.

Psychology tells us that people who frequently use this phrase may struggle with confrontation and prefer to delay dealing with their mistakes. They also tend to overpromise and underdeliver.

So when you hear “I’ll make it up to you”, be cautious. It’s often a hollow promise from an unreliable person trying to avoid facing the music. And remember, actions speak louder than words.

Wrapping it up

The phrases we’ve explored are often used by those who struggle with reliability. If you’ve been on the receiving end of these, it’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone – and it’s not your fault.

In psychology, there’s a term for this – ‘gaslighting’, where an individual manipulates another into doubting their own perception. It’s a harmful tactic often used by unreliable people to maintain their image and avoid accountability.

But here’s the silver lining – having this knowledge arms you with the tools to spot these signs early. It enables you to set boundaries, protect your mental well-being, and foster healthier relationships.

Recognizing these phrases is just the first step. The real power lies in how you respond to them. You can choose to challenge them, ask for clarity, or express how these excuses make you feel.

And remember, trust is earned, not given freely. It’s okay to expect honesty and reliability from those around you.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, but with awareness and persistence, you can navigate through life better equipped to deal with unreliable people. And who knows? You might just inspire them to be more accountable too.

So take a moment to reflect on this information and think about how it applies to your life. After all, knowledge is power – and now, you’re one step ahead.