We all have those “aha” moments when things suddenly make sense. Unfortunately, for most women, those moments seem to come a little too late.

Let’s talk about eight lessons that 99 percent of women, including myself, learn a bit too late in life. These are those “if only I knew then what I know now” kind of lessons. The type that can save you from heartache and headache if learned earlier.

Stay with me as I reveal these vital life lessons every woman should know, and hopefully, you can beat the odds to learn them sooner rather than later.

1) Embracing self-love

In the hustle and bustle of life, us women often put everyone else’s needs before our own. We feel compelled to take care of our loved ones and sometimes forget about the most important person: ourselves.

This phenomenon is all too common. Often, we’re so caught up in being mothers, daughters, wives, or professionals, that we neglect our own well-being. Self-love and self-care take a backseat.

Unfortunately, the importance of self-love is a lesson most women learn too late in life. It’s not about being selfish or narcissistic. It’s about understanding that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Think about it. You’re better equipped to take care of others when you’re in a good place mentally and physically. 

2) The value of time

As a relationship expert, I’ve encountered countless women regretting how they’ve spent their time. Whether it’s staying in a toxic relationship for too long or wasting years doing a job they despise, the misuse of time is a lesson learned painfully late.

Time is the most valuable asset we have and once it’s gone, it’s impossible to get it back. Many women realize this truth much later in life.

It’s essential to understand that every moment counts. Don’t wait for tomorrow to start living your life. Embrace the present, make the most of now, and enjoy every single moment. Life is too short to be unhappy or unfulfilled. Don’t let the value of time be another lesson you learn too late.

3) Breaking free from codependency

Now, this is a lesson I’m particularly passionate about. In my journey as a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless strong women lose themselves in codependent relationships. It’s heartbreaking to witness and even harder to break free from.

Codependency can trap you in unhealthy patterns of behavior and leave you feeling powerless. It’s a tough cycle to break, but it’s absolutely essential for your mental and emotional health.

Ironically, this is a lesson most women learn far too late in life. But remember, it’s never too late to make a change.

In fact, I wrote a book on this very subject titled Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a guide to help you understand codependency and provide practical steps to break free from it.

Learning to stand on your own two feet, emotionally speaking, is one of the most liberating lessons you can learn. And the sooner you learn it, the better your relationships will be. 

4) Failure is success in disguise

Now here’s a counterintuitive lesson that many women learn too late in life: failure isn’t your enemy, it’s actually your secret ally.

In our society, we’re taught to fear failure. We’re led to believe that making mistakes is bad and that it reflects poorly on us. But the truth is, every failure is a stepping stone towards success.

It’s through our mistakes that we learn and grow. Every time we fail, we gain invaluable experience and knowledge that can lead us to greater things.

As Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He viewed each ‘failure’ as a step closer to his goal. And as women, we should adopt the same mindset.

5) You can’t please everyone

This is a personal one for me. In my younger years, I was a classic people pleaser. I would bend over backwards to make everyone around me happy, even at the cost of my own happiness. It took me a long time to realize that you can’t please everyone, and it’s not your job to try.

It’s a harsh lesson that most women learn too late in life. The desire to be liked can be overwhelming, and it can lead us to sacrifice our own needs and desires in the process. But the truth is, no matter what you do, there will always be someone who doesn’t approve.

The key is to understand that it’s okay not to be liked by everyone. You’re not here to live up to other people’s expectations, but your own. Be authentic, be true to yourself, and the right people will love you for who you are.

6) The truth about loneliness

Let’s get real for a moment. Loneliness is a part of life. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s one we must all face at some point or another.

Often, in the pursuit of love and companionship, we lose sight of the fact that it’s okay to be alone. In fact, it’s more than okay; it’s necessary. Loneliness can be a powerful teacher, a mirror that forces us to look inward and confront the parts of ourselves we’d rather avoid.

Too many women realize this late in life – that being alone doesn’t mean you’re unloved or unwanted. It simply means you’re human. And embracing periods of solitude can lead to incredible personal growth.

Don’t fear loneliness. Use it as a chance to get to know yourself better, to heal old wounds, and to strengthen your relationship with yourself. 

7) The power of saying No

From personal experience, I can tell you that saying ‘No’ is one of the most liberating things you can do. However, this is a lesson that most women learn a bit too late in life.

As women, we’re often conditioned to be accommodating, to be agreeable. We’re taught to avoid conflict and keep the peace, even if it means saying ‘Yes’ when we really want to say ‘No’.

But here’s the thing: saying ‘No’ is not only okay, it’s necessary. It’s a way of setting boundaries and respecting your own time and energy. As Warren Buffet wisely said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

8) Perfection is a myth

Here’s a raw truth that might be hard to digest: perfection is a myth. It’s an illusion, a mirage that keeps you chasing something that doesn’t exist.

As women, we’re often subjected to unrealistic standards of perfection – in our careers, our appearances, our relationships. We strive to be the perfect mother, the perfect partner, the perfect professional. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as perfect.

This constant pursuit of perfection can lead to immense stress and self-doubt. It creates a toxic cycle where you’re never quite ‘good enough.’

The reality is, we’re all beautifully flawed. We all make mistakes, and that’s okay. It’s these imperfections that make us human, that make us unique.

Final Thoughts

Life is a journey of learning, and these eight lessons are just some of the pivotal truths most women discover a little too late. But remember, it’s never too late to make changes, to grow and to become the best version of yourself.

I hope these lessons empower you to embrace self-love, value your time, break free from codependency, learn from your failures, realize that you can’t please everyone, understand the truth about loneliness, master the art of saying ‘No’, and let go of the notion of perfection.

For more guidance on breaking free from codependency and establishing healthier relationships, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.