Emotional intelligence isn’t about putting on a happy face all the time. It’s about understanding and managing your own emotions, and being sensitive to others’.

A lack of emotional intelligence often reveals itself through specific habits. These habits can undermine relationships, hamper progress, and generally make life more challenging.

According to psychology, there are eight clear habits that signal a lack of emotional intelligence. In this article, we’re going to delve into each one.

Let’s get started. 

1) Constantly interrupting others

We’ve all been in conversations with someone who just can’t wait for their turn to speak. It’s frustrating, right?

This is a classic sign of a lack of emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence are good listeners. They take the time to understand what the other person is saying before responding.

Interrupting others shows a lack of respect for their thoughts and feelings. It signals that you’re more interested in your own opinions than understanding theirs.

If you find yourself frequently cutting others off mid-sentence, it might be time to work on your listening skills. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk – truly listen to what’s being said. You might learn something new.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about managing your own emotions. It’s also about understanding and respecting the feelings of those around you. And good listening is a crucial part of that equation.

2) Jumping to conclusions

I’ll be honest, this was a habit that I had to consciously work on breaking. I would often jump to conclusions without having all the facts.

For instance, if a friend didn’t return my call right away, I’d immediately assume they were upset with me. Or if my boss didn’t respond to an email immediately, I’d worry that I had done something wrong.

This type of thinking is a hallmark of low emotional intelligence. It’s about making assumptions without considering alternate possibilities. It’s reacting rather than responding.

With time, I learned to pause and consider other possibilities before jumping to conclusions. It took a lot of self-reflection and conscious effort, but it’s made my relationships and my work life less stressful and more productive.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a key component of emotional intelligence.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who are higher in emotional intelligence tend to be more empathetic. They’re better at picking up on other people’s emotions and understanding their perspective.

When you’re not empathetic, it can come across as if you’re not interested in other people’s feelings or experiences. This can make it hard to build strong, meaningful relationships.

If you struggle with empathy, try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Consider their perspective, and how they might be feeling. It can be a game changer not just for your relationships, but also for your overall emotional intelligence.

4) Difficulty handling criticism

Let’s face it, no one likes to be criticized. But how you handle criticism can say a lot about your emotional intelligence.

People with low emotional intelligence often react poorly to criticism. They may become defensive, angry, or upset. They might take it personally, even when it’s intended to be constructive.

On the other hand, those with high emotional intelligence see criticism as an opportunity to learn and grow. They’re able to separate their personal feelings from the critique and view it objectively.

When you receive criticism, try not to react immediately. Take a moment to process the feedback, and consider how you can use it to improve. It’s not always easy, but it’s a critical skill for boosting your emotional intelligence.

5) Ignoring your own emotions

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding others’ emotions. It’s equally important to recognize and manage your own feelings.

Ignoring your own emotions is a common sign of low emotional intelligence. You might dismiss your feelings, thinking you should just “get over it” or “push through”.

But here’s the thing – emotions aren’t just fleeting thoughts. They’re an integral part of who we are, and they give us valuable insights into our needs, desires, and values.

Ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them go away. It can actually make them stronger, leading to stress, anxiety, and other health issues.

Don’t brush your feelings aside. Allow yourself to feel them fully. Understand what they’re telling you. It’s not only beneficial for your mental health, but it’s also a crucial step towards improving your emotional intelligence.

6) Struggling with change

Change can be scary. I know there were times in my life when I was so afraid of change, I would resist it at all costs. It felt safer to stick with what I knew, even if it wasn’t fulfilling or beneficial.

But resisting change is a sign of low emotional intelligence. It’s about being rigid and inflexible, refusing to adapt to new situations.

Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, are resilient. They’re able to adapt to change and see it as an opportunity for growth.

Over time, I’ve learned to embrace change. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve come to realize that change is a natural part of life. And the more we resist it, the more we hold ourselves back from new experiences and opportunities.

If you find yourself struggling with change, remember that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable. But don’t let that discomfort stop you from growing and evolving. Embrace the uncertainty, and see where it leads you.

7) Poor conflict resolution skills

Conflict is a part of life. Whether it’s at work, with friends, or in our personal relationships, we all encounter disagreements and clashes of opinions.

However, how you handle these conflicts can say a lot about your emotional intelligence. People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with conflict resolution. They might avoid conflicts entirely, or react to them in a destructive way, such as by getting angry or defensive.

In contrast, emotionally intelligent people are able to navigate conflicts in a healthy way. They’re able to express their feelings and needs without attacking the other person. They listen to the other person’s perspective and work towards a solution that benefits everyone involved.

When you find yourself in a conflict, try to approach it with empathy and understanding. It’s not about winning the argument – it’s about resolving the issue in a respectful and constructive way.

8) Lack of self-awareness

Self-awareness is at the heart of emotional intelligence. It’s about understanding your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers.

Without self-awareness, it’s hard to manage your emotions or empathize with others. You might not understand why you react the way you do, or how your actions affect those around you.

Improving your self-awareness requires honesty and introspection. It can be uncomfortable to confront parts of yourself that you’re not proud of. But it’s an essential step towards improving your emotional intelligence.