8 characteristics of a truly decent woman, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | September 29, 2024, 3:48 pm

There’s a significant distinction between being a ‘nice’ woman and being a ‘decent’ woman. Psychology tells us that it’s not just about outwardly pleasing manners or sweet words, as ‘nice’ tends to suggest.

Being a truly decent woman is about depth of character, the choices we make, and how we treat others – even when no one’s watching.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog, and a relationship expert, I’ve spent many years studying these aspects of human behavior. From my research and experiences, I’ve identified eight key characteristics that truly decent women tend to share.

Let’s dive in further and explore what makes a woman genuinely decent, according to psychology.

1) Empathy

In the realm of psychological traits, empathy tops the list when defining a truly decent woman.

Empathy isn’t just about sympathizing with someone’s situation. It’s about the capacity to understand, feel, and respond to another person’s emotional state or circumstance.

Consider it the emotional glue that connects us all.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman, in his book “Emotional Intelligence”, emphasizes the pivotal role of empathy in successful social interactions and relationships.

When a woman embodies empathy, she can connect with others on a deeper level, fostering meaningful relationships built on understanding and mutual respect.

Being empathetic is not about taking on other people’s emotions or problems, but rather about showing genuine concern and offering support in their time of need.

In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve found that empathy is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. And trust me, it goes a long way in making a woman stand out as truly decent.

2) Integrity

Integrity is another psychological trait that sets a truly decent woman apart.

Integrity is about being honest, even when it’s not convenient. It’s about being true to your word, and standing by your principles regardless of the situation.

As the saying goes, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” This quote by C.S. Lewis perfectly encapsulates what integrity means.

From my personal experience, I’ve found that women with high levels of integrity are often the most trusted and respected in their circles. They’re the kind of women who inspire others through their actions, not just their words.

In essence, a woman with integrity walks her talk. And this, dear readers, is the hallmark of true decency.

3) Self-sufficiency

The third characteristic of a truly decent woman, according to psychology, is self-sufficiency.

Self-sufficiency is about being independent and not relying on others for your happiness or success. It doesn’t mean you don’t need others; rather, it means you have the ability to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of self-sufficiency in maintaining healthy relationships.

A woman who is self-sufficient knows her worth and doesn’t allow her well-being to depend solely on others. This not only makes her stronger but also contributes to making her relationships healthier.

I’ve personally witnessed how stepping into self-sufficiency can transform a woman’s life, making her not just a better partner, but also a truly decent individual.

4) Vulnerability

Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. Vulnerability is indeed one of the key characteristics of a truly decent woman.

Yes, vulnerability – the ability to open up, to show your true self, flaws and all.

In a society that often equates vulnerability with weakness, it takes immense courage to let your guard down and be authentic. But that’s exactly where its power lies.

Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and author, champions the idea of embracing vulnerability. She says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

In my own life, I’ve found that embracing vulnerability has led to deeper connections and more authentic relationships. It’s an act of bravery that resonates with people and engenders trust.

A truly decent woman understands that vulnerability is not a flaw but a strength. She’s not afraid to be herself, and that honesty draws people towards her.

5) Gratitude

Gratitude is another trait that I’ve found to be prevalent in truly decent women.

It’s more than just saying “thank you”. It’s a mindset, a way of viewing the world. It’s about recognizing and appreciating the good in your life, even in the smallest things.

In my own journey, adopting an attitude of gratitude has been transformative. It has a way of shifting your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right, from lack to abundance.

A woman who practices gratitude radiates positivity. She acknowledges the good in her life and in doing so, attracts more of it. It makes her approachable, uplifting, and yes, truly decent.

6) Emotional resilience

Let’s get real for a moment. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows. It throws curveballs and challenges our way. And it’s in these moments that emotional resilience comes into play.

Emotional resilience is about the ability to bounce back from adversity. It’s about weathering the storm, dusting yourself off, and moving forward.

It doesn’t mean a woman won’t experience pain or grief. It means she knows how to navigate through these emotions, learn from them, and come out stronger on the other side.

A truly decent woman doesn’t shy away from life’s hardships. Instead, she faces them head-on, learns from them, and grows. This raw strength and honesty make her not just admirable, but genuinely respectable.

7) Compassion

Compassion is another characteristic that defines a truly decent woman, and it’s one that’s particularly close to my heart.

Compassion is about more than just feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their pain and wanting to do something about it. It goes hand in hand with empathy but takes it a step further by adding an element of action.

The Dalai Lama once said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” This quote beautifully encapsulates the power of compassion.

In my own life, practicing compassion has not only made me a better person, but it’s also enriched my relationships and interactions with others. A woman who cultivates compassion exudes a warmth and kindness that is truly magnetic, making her not only decent but genuinely lovable.

8) Authenticity

Finally, but certainly not the least, is authenticity. Authenticity is about being true to oneself, about standing in your truth even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular.

In a world that often pressures us to conform and fit in, being authentic requires courage. It means shedding the masks we wear and embracing our unique selves.

Authenticity is raw. It’s honest. And it’s incredibly freeing.

A truly decent woman understands the value of authenticity. She doesn’t pretend to be someone she’s not. She embraces her strengths, acknowledges her weaknesses, and is unapologetically herself.

This honesty not only makes her decent but also deeply human and relatable.

Conclusion

A truly decent woman is not defined by a single trait. She’s a blend of empathy, integrity, self-sufficiency, vulnerability, gratitude, emotional resilience, compassion, and authenticity.

These traits make her not just likable, but also deeply human and respectable. And remember, these characteristics aren’t inborn – they can be cultivated with time and conscious effort.

For more insight into building strong relationships and fostering self-sufficiency, do check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Being a truly decent woman isn’t about perfection. It’s about striving to be the best version of yourself – authentically and unapologetically.

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