Too often, we justify our partner’s actions, brushing them off as ‘just their way’. But some behaviors, according to psychology, should never be tolerated.

As Tina Fey, founder of Love Connection blog and relationship guru, I’ve seen it all. And I’m here to set the record straight with 8 behaviors you should absolutely never put up with in a relationship.

Remember, love should never mean having to endure unhealthy behaviors.

Let’s dive in.

1) Unresolved jealousy

We’ve all felt the sting of jealousy in a relationship. It’s a common emotion, and it’s not always destructive. But what happens when jealousy becomes a recurring theme?

According to a study published in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, unresolved jealousy can lead to distrust and relational dissatisfaction. 

Here’s the thing. It’s normal for your partner to feel a twinge of jealousy now and then. But it becomes problematic when they’re unable to handle these feelings and it starts affecting your relationship negatively.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how unresolved jealousy can tear couples apart. It’s something you should never tolerate. Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and open communication.

2) Disrespectful behavior

We all deserve to be treated with respect, especially in our relationships. Disrespectful behavior is a non-negotiable when it comes to what we should tolerate from our partners.

Psychologically speaking, respect forms the foundation of any successful relationship. Disrespect, on the other hand, often leads to resentment and can break down the bond between two people.

I’ve personally seen many relationships crumble due to a lack of respect. And trust me, it’s not a pretty sight.

If your partner is behaving disrespectfully, it’s time for a serious conversation. And if they’re unwilling to change, well, you know what they say about not being able to teach an old dog new tricks.

Don’t allow yourself to be treated with anything less than the respect you deserve.

3) Codependency

Psychologists often talk about the dangers of codependency in relationships. It’s a pattern of behavior where one person becomes overly dependent on the other for emotional or psychological support.

As someone who’s been in the field for years, I can tell you: codependency is a slippery slope. It often leads to an unhealthy power dynamic and can prevent both partners from growing as individuals.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deep into the subject. I discuss how to identify signs of codependency and offer practical tips to overcome it.

It’s essential for both partners to maintain their individual identities in a relationship. Codependency is a behavior you should never tolerate – it’s crucial to your personal growth and the health of your relationship.

4) Excessive agreement

Now, this one might sound a bit counterintuitive. After all, aren’t we supposed to agree with our partners?

Yes, but not all the time. A relationship should be a balanced mix of agreement and disagreement. Too much agreement can often be a sign of complacency or fear of conflict.

According to Dr. Deborah Tannen, Linguist and Author of ‘You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation‘, excessive agreement in a relationship can be a sign of fear of conflict or lack of assertiveness, which can stifle authentic communication and hinder personal growth.

Think about it. If your partner agrees with everything you say or do, are they really being authentic? Are they expressing their true thoughts and feelings?

In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve found that excessive agreement can often hide deeper issues. It can indicate a lack of personal opinion or an unhealthy fear of confrontation.

Healthy relationships thrive on respectful disagreements. They allow growth, foster better understanding, and encourage open communication. Don’t tolerate excessive agreement – it’s not as harmonious as it seems.

5) Lack of support

In any relationship, support is the backbone that keeps things standing. It’s the reassurance that no matter what, you’ve got each other’s backs.

Now, here’s a personal story. In the early days of Love Connection, there were many times I felt overwhelmed. It was my partner’s unwavering support that kept me going during tough times. And that’s why I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a supportive partner.

Psychology tells us that a lack of support can lead to feelings of loneliness and can even decrease our self-esteem over time.

If your partner isn’t there for you in times of need, it fails one of the basic tests of a healthy relationship.

We all need someone to lean on. Don’t ever tolerate a lack of support in your relationship.

6) Emotional abuse

Let’s get real for a moment here. Emotional abuse is a harsh reality many of us face in relationships. It’s often subtle, manipulative, and deeply damaging.

According to Dr. Patricia Evans, author of ‘The Verbally Abusive Relationship, emotional abuse, including belittling and manipulation, can have long-lasting effects on mental health, leading to anxiety and depression. 

Emotional abuse includes belittling comments, constant criticism, or attempts to control or isolate you. It chips away at your self-esteem and makes you question your worth.

I won’t mince words here. Emotional abuse is toxic. It’s unacceptable. It’s a violation of your basic rights as a human being.

Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. Don’t ever tolerate emotional abuse in your relationship.

7) Dishonesty

We’ve all heard the old saying, “Honesty is the best policy”. In relationships, it’s more than just a policy, it’s the very foundation.

Psychology tells us that trust, built on honesty, is one of the most essential elements of a healthy relationship. Dishonesty can erode that trust and cause irreparable damage.

As someone who has worked with countless couples, I’ve seen how lies, even small ones, can create chasms in relationships. Whether it’s being dishonest about finances or hiding feelings, dishonesty has a way of breeding mistrust and discord.

Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything”.

This simple yet profound quote sums up why honesty in a relationship is so essential.

Always demand honesty from your partner. It’s not just your right; it’s crucial for the health and longevity of your relationship.

8) Neglect

Neglect, whether emotional or physical, is a silent relationship killer. It’s not as outright as abuse, but it’s just as damaging in the long run.

Neglect means not paying attention to your partner’s needs, ignoring their feelings, or consistently being too busy for them. It’s a form of emotional abandonment that can make your partner feel unloved and unimportant.

I’ll be honest here. No one should ever feel neglected in a relationship. It’s a subtle form of cruelty that can chip away at your partner’s self-esteem and happiness.

Relationships require time, effort, and attention. If you’re feeling neglected, it’s time to have a serious conversation with your partner. Don’t ever tolerate neglect in your relationship. It’s not about being needy; it’s about being valued.

Conclusion

Recognizing these behaviors in your relationship can be hard. But acknowledging them is the first step towards a healthier and happier relationship.

Every individual deserves respect, honesty, and genuine love in their relationships.

For more guidance on navigating these challenges, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with practical advice and real-life scenarios to help you build stronger, healthier relationships.

Remember, you’re worth it. Don’t ever tolerate less than you deserve.