There’s a fine line between nurturing your child and raising an entitled one.

The difference lies in behavior. Spoiling a child is creating a world where they get their way, often without understanding the consequences.

Raising a well-rounded kid, on the other hand, involves teaching them about responsibilities, and how actions have consequences.

Psychologists identify certain behaviors that set the stage for entitlement in kids. And as a parent, being aware of these behaviors can help you steer clear of raising an overly spoiled child.

Here are eight parental behaviors that can lead to entitled and spoiled children, according to psychology.

1) Overindulgence

The fine line between love and overindulgence can often blur in parenting.

When a child demands, parents often acquiesce, unknowingly fostering a sense of entitlement. This is especially true in today’s age of immediate gratification.

Psychologists point out that regularly giving in to a child’s every whim can create an unrealistic expectation in their minds. They begin to believe that they can always get what they want, when they want it, without any consequences.

This isn’t about withholding love or necessary care. It’s about ensuring that children understand the value of things and the importance of patience and hard work.

If you’re aiming for balanced parenting, it’s worth reconsidering your stance on indulging your child’s every demand. It might seem like you’re making them happy in the short term, but you could be setting them up for unrealistic expectations and disappointments in the future.

2) Lack of Responsibility

Growing up, my chores were pretty straightforward – tidy up my room, help with the dishes, and occasionally assist with yard work.

I grumbled at times, but my parents stood firm. They taught me that responsibilities were a part of life.

Now, as a parent myself, I see how easy it can be to let chores slide. After all, who wants to deal with the tantrums and negotiations that can come with task delegation?

But psychologists warn against this. By not assigning responsibilities, we may unintentionally raise kids who feel entitled.

Children need to understand that they are part of a community, be it family or society, and everyone has a role to play. When they shirk their duties, it can lead to a sense of entitlement and an assumption that others will always clean up after them.

Despite the pushback and the occasional eye roll from my kids, I persist with assigned chores because I understand the value it imparts. It might be easier to do things myself sometimes, but in the long run, teaching them responsibility is far more beneficial.

3) Lack of Consequences

In a study conducted by the University of Minnesota, researchers found that children who don’t experience consequences for their actions can develop a sense of entitlement.

When parents consistently rescue their kids from the repercussions of their actions, they’re teaching them that rules don’t apply to them. This not only leads to entitled behavior but also limits their ability to learn from mistakes.

Imagine a child who never experiences the consequence of not doing homework – they might begin to believe that they’re exempt from school rules or that their actions don’t have implications.

By enforcing consequences for actions, parents can teach children that they’re not above rules and that their actions have real-world implications. This understanding can be instrumental in curbing entitled behavior and raising well-rounded individuals.

4) Excessive Praise

We all love our children and think they’re fantastic. And it’s only natural that we want to express this to them by showering them with praise.

However, psychologists caution us that excessive and undeserved praise can lead to entitlement. Kids might start thinking they’re superior to others or that they don’t need to put in effort because they’re already ‘the best’.

Praise should be used as a tool to encourage good behavior or commend effort, not as a constant background noise. When praise becomes the norm, its value is diminished and kids may stop striving for achievement since they’ll be praised regardless.

In other words, instead of praising your child constantly, try to acknowledge their efforts and improvements. This will foster a growth mindset and discourage a sense of entitlement.

5) Disregarding the Value of Empathy

Empathy is a powerful and essential life skill. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to step into their shoes and see the world from their perspective.

When children grow up without fully grasping the concept of empathy, they may become self-centered and entitled. They might find it challenging to form meaningful relationships, as they fail to understand or consider others’ feelings.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to teach our children about empathy. We should encourage them to think about how their actions can affect others, and emphasize the importance of kindness and understanding.

Raising empathetic children can be a challenging task, but the rewards are immense. Not only will they be less likely to exhibit entitled behavior, but they’ll also grow into compassionate adults who can form deep, meaningful connections with others.

6) Failure to Set Boundaries

I’ve always been a firm believer in the power of saying ‘no’, even when it’s not the popular choice.

As a young girl, I’d often wish my parents would be more like others who seemed to always say ‘yes’ to their children. As an adult, and now a parent myself, I understand the importance of setting boundaries.

Children need structure, and part of that includes understanding that they can’t always get what they want. When parents fail to set boundaries, children can develop a sense of entitlement, believing that the world should cater to their every whim.

Saying ‘no’ can be tough; it can feel like you’re being harsh or unkind. But the reality is, boundaries are essential for a child’s development. They provide a sense of security and teach children about limits and respect for others.

Even though my kids might not always appreciate it, I continue to set boundaries in our home. Because I know that in doing so, I’m helping them become respectful and considerate individuals.

7) Fostering a ‘Me First’ Attitude

While it’s crucial to teach kids about self-care and self-love, an over-emphasis on ‘me first’ can lead to a sense of entitlement.

Children who are raised to believe that their needs and desires should always be prioritized above all else might struggle with the concept of compromise. They could grow into adults who always expect to be put first, regardless of the situation or the needs of others.

Rather than fostering a ‘me first’ mentality, it’s essential to teach kids about mutual respect and consideration. They need to understand that while their needs are important, so are the needs of others.

It’s about teaching them the balance of taking care of themselves without disregarding the feelings and needs of those around them. This balance is key to raising children who are both confident and considerate.

8) Ignoring the Importance of Gratitude

Research consistently shows that gratitude is a key component of happiness and well-being. However, in a world saturated with consumerism and instant gratification, it can be challenging to instill this value in our children.

Kids who don’t learn to appreciate what they have can develop a sense of entitlement, always wanting more and never feeling satisfied. They may also fail to recognize the efforts and kindness of others, further fueling their self-centered attitude.

As parents, we must make a conscious effort to teach our children about gratitude. Encourage them to appreciate the little things in life, to say ‘thank you’, and to understand that not everything is a given.

Gratitude is not just about manners; it’s about perspective. And when kids learn to view the world through a lens of gratitude, they’re less likely to grow up feeling entitled.

Final thoughts: It’s all about balance

Parenting is often a delicate dance between love and discipline, empathy and firmness. It’s about finding the right balance.

The behaviors we’ve discussed, when unchecked, could contribute to raising entitled and spoiled children. But remember, these are just behaviors – they’re not set in stone. As parents, we have the power to change, to adapt, to grow for the sake of our children.

Raising children who are grateful, empathetic, responsible and considerate is an invaluable gift we can give them – and the world. It sets them up not just for success, but for happiness, contentment, and meaningful relationships.

This journey of parenting isn’t easy; it’s filled with trials and triumphs. But every step we take in instilling these values in our kids makes a difference. It shapes them into individuals who respect themselves and others around them.

So as we navigate this path of parenthood, let’s strive to find that balance. Let’s aim to raise children who understand that they are part of a larger community, that their actions have consequences, and most importantly, that the world doesn’t revolve around them.

After all, the goal isn’t just to raise kids – it’s to raise good human beings.