7 types of family members you’re better off distancing yourself from

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | November 30, 2024, 8:23 am

Family dynamics can be a tricky maze to navigate. You love them, but sometimes, you just need a little space.

And yeah, it’s a tough decision to make. But the truth is, for your own well-being, there are some family members you might be better off distancing yourself from.

In this piece, we’ll break down seven types of relatives that might be more draining than they are worth. And remember, it’s not about cutting ties entirely; it’s about setting boundaries that are healthier for you.

Let’s get started. 

1) The perpetual critic

We’ve all got one in our family – that relative who always seems to have something negative to say.

They’re the ones who never miss an opportunity to point out your mistakes, your flaws, or just generally bring you down. It’s as if their sole purpose is to make you feel inadequate.

Whether it’s your choice of career, your parenting style, or even what you’re wearing, nothing escapes their critical eye.

The truth is, this kind of constant negativity can be incredibly draining and damaging to your self-esteem. It’s tough, but sometimes the best thing you can do for your own mental health is to put some distance between you and them.

It’s not about cutting them off completely but rather about setting boundaries that allow you to maintain your positivity and self-worth.

2) The guilt-tripper

Ah, the guilt-trippers. I remember one such relative in my own family.

Every family gathering was incomplete without their signature move – loading you with guilt. It often felt like a well-rehearsed play, with them expertly playing the victim, and me, constantly apologizing or bending over backward to appease them.

Once, I had to miss a family reunion due to an important work commitment. Instead of understanding, this relative took it as a personal affront. They made sure to let me know how disappointed everyone was and how everyone missed me. The guilt was laid on thick, making me feel horrible about a decision that was necessary for my career.

Over time, I realized that being on the receiving end of their guilt trips was not healthy for me. I decided to create some distance. It wasn’t easy, but it was essential for my mental well-being.

3) The drama enthusiast

Meet the drama enthusiasts. They thrive in chaos and seem to almost enjoy creating a whirlwind of stress and anxiety wherever they go.

Whether it’s jumping to conclusions, spreading gossip, or simply stirring the pot, these family members often leave you feeling emotionally drained and stressed.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that individuals who frequently create unnecessary drama are likely to have lower emotional intelligence. They may struggle with understanding and managing their own emotions, which can lead to these exaggerated reactions and theatrics.

While it can be hard to distance yourself from these family members, doing so can significantly decrease your stress levels and improve your overall mental well-being.

4) The control freak

Control freaks can be one of the toughest types of family members to deal with. They’re those relatives who insist on having a say in every aspect of your life, from your career choices to your personal relationships.

Their need for control often stems from a place of insecurity or fear, but it can be suffocating and frustrating to deal with. It’s like living under a microscope, with every decision you make being scrutinized and often criticized.

Learning to set boundaries with these family members can be a game-changer.

It’s not about pushing them away completely but rather establishing what parts of your life you’re comfortable discussing and what parts are off-limits. This can lead to healthier interactions and less stress in your relationship with them.

5) The emotional vampire

Emotional vampires. They’re the ones who suck the energy out of a room and leave you feeling emotionally drained.

I remember a particular aunt who was an expert at this. Every conversation with her felt like a marathon, a constant barrage of negativity, complaints, and woe-is-me narratives. It was exhausting. I could feel my energy levels plummeting after every encounter, leaving me feeling deflated and downcast.

After a while, I realized this wasn’t healthy. So I decided to limit my interactions with her, choosing to engage in more uplifting conversations with other family members instead. It was a tough call, but necessary for my emotional health.

It’s okay to protect your emotional space. You don’t owe anyone access to your energy or peace of mind.

6) The boundary violator

Boundary violators can be a real challenge in family dynamics. They’re the ones who feel entitled to invade your personal space, ignore your privacy, or overstep the limits you’ve set.

Whether it’s showing up unannounced, going through your personal belongings, or insisting on being part of conversations they weren’t invited to, these family members can leave you feeling frustrated and violated.

Establishing firm boundaries with these relatives is essential. It’s also important to communicate clearly when a line has been crossed. Remember, your personal space and privacy are worth respecting and protecting.

7) The constant competitor

Lastly, let’s talk about the constant competitors. These are the family members who treat every aspect of life as a competition, always trying to one-up you.

Whether it’s comparing salaries, achievements, or even physical appearances, this constant need to compete can be exhausting and detrimental to your self-esteem.

The most important thing to remember here is that life is not a competition. Your worth is not determined by how you stack up against others. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. It’s okay to take a step back from these competitive dynamics and focus on your own personal growth and happiness.

The takeaway: It’s about self-preservation

Distancing yourself from certain family members doesn’t necessarily mean cutting ties or harboring resentment. It’s more about setting boundaries for your own mental health and well-being.

At the end of the day, it’s crucial to remember that you’re not responsible for other people’s behavior – only how you respond to it. And sometimes, the most compassionate response is to step back and focus on taking care of yourself.

So take a moment to reflect: Are there relationships in your life that might need a little more distance? And how might stepping back from these relationships contribute to your own emotional health and happiness?

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