Navigating social interactions can be a tricky business. Especially when it comes to discerning whether someone truly likes you, or they’re just being polite.

Sometimes, it’s not what people say but how they behave that reveals their true feelings. And trust me, there are subtle signs that can hint if someone isn’t genuinely fond of you but is too courteous to show it.

In this article, we’re going to explore these subtle signs. These are the little indicators smart people pick up on to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

1) Minimal eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful tool in human interaction. It’s a non-verbal way of communicating interest, trust, and openness.

However, when someone isn’t really into you, they might avoid making eye contact. They’ll look around the room, check their phone, or simply stare blankly while you’re talking.

This subtle sign doesn’t mean they’re being rude. On the contrary, it could just be their polite way of showing disinterest without having to say anything.

2) Short and clipped responses

There’s something about conversation flow that can reveal a lot about people’s feelings towards us. When someone is genuinely interested in you, there’s a certain rhythm and depth to the conversations you share.

I had a friend once, let’s call him John. We used to hang out a lot, but I noticed that over time his responses to my stories or questions became short and clipped. It felt like pulling teeth just to get him engaged in a conversation.

“Hey John, how was your weekend?”, I’d ask. “Fine”, he’d respond, without any elaboration or invitation for further discussion.

This was a subtle sign that he wasn’t as invested in our friendship as he used to be. And although he was too polite to say it outright, his short responses were a clear sign that something had changed.

Remember, it’s not just what people say. It’s how they say it that often reveals their true feelings.

3) Closed body language

Body language speaks volumes about how someone feels about you. When someone is comfortable around you, they tend to exhibit open body language. This could include uncrossed arms, leaning in during conversation, and relaxed posture.

On the flip side, closed body language is often a subtle sign of discomfort or disinterest. This might involve crossed arms, a lack of facial expressions, or a physical distance maintained during conversations.

Interestingly, according to research, words only account for 7% of how we communicate feelings and attitudes. The rest is down to body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%).

So if someone’s body language seems consistently closed off when they’re around you, it might be a sign that they don’t quite like you as much as they’re letting on.

4) They avoid personal topics

One way we bond with others is by sharing aspects of our personal lives. When someone likes you, they are usually open to discussing personal topics and showing interest in learning more about you.

However, if someone consistently steers the conversation towards impersonal topics or avoids answering personal questions, it could be a subtle sign that they’re not invested in getting to know you on a deeper level.

This isn’t always about disliking someone, they might just be uncomfortable sharing personal information. But if you notice this happening quite often, it could indicate that they’re keeping their distance intentionally.

5) They seem disinterested in your life

When someone likes you, they’re usually interested in your life. They ask about your day, your interests, and your future plans. But when someone doesn’t particularly like you, they might not show this level of interest.

I remember a time when I was always the one initiating conversations and asking questions, while the other person seemed indifferent to my life. I would share about my day, my dreams, even my fears. But they never seemed to reciprocate or show genuine interest.

This lack of curiosity about my life was a subtle signal that they didn’t really like me. It was a tough pill to swallow, but recognizing this sign helped me to reevaluate the relationship and make necessary changes.

6) They rarely initiate contact

In any relationship, whether it’s friendship or romantic, initiation of contact is usually a two-way street. If you’re always the one reaching out, planning get-togethers, or starting conversations, it might be a sign that the other person isn’t as invested.

When someone likes you, they’ll make the effort to reach out and connect. They won’t just rely on you to keep the relationship going. Lack of initiation can be a subtle sign that they don’t like you as much as you thought, but they’re too polite to say it.

But remember not to jump to conclusions. People have different communication styles and life circumstances that can influence their level of contact. Look for patterns and consider the context before making any judgement.

7) They’re never fully present

When someone genuinely likes you, they’re present in your interactions. They listen attentively, respond thoughtfully, and engage fully in the conversation.

However, if someone is always distracted when they’re with you — constantly checking their phone, looking around, or seeming mentally elsewhere — this could indicate a lack of genuine interest.

Being fully present is a sign of respect and interest. Without it, it’s difficult to form a meaningful connection. This is possibly the most important sign to look out for. It speaks volumes about how someone values their time with you.