Being a parent isn’t easy. We’re often left second-guessing ourselves, wondering if we’re doing a good job. And let’s be honest, kids aren’t always the best at expressing their appreciation.

However, there are subtle signs that indicate you’re doing a great job, even if your little ones aren’t forthcoming with the compliments.

In my years as a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve noticed common traits in effective parenting. These are the subtle hints that you’re doing better than you think.

Without further ado, let’s dive into these 7 signs you’re a good parent, even if your kids never say so.

1) You listen to your kids

One of the most vital elements of parenting is communication. And it’s not just about talking; it’s about listening.

Many parents fall into the trap of dictating and not taking the time to truly listen to their kids.

In my experience, I’ve found that the best parents are the ones who take the time to engage in meaningful conversations with their children. They listen actively, showing interest and empathy in what their child has to say.

Remembering small details from these conversations and bringing them up later can mean the world to a child. It shows them that they are being heard and valued.

So if you find yourself truly listening, and not just waiting for your turn to talk, you’re doing a fantastic job as a parent, even if your children don’t verbalize their gratitude.

2) You’re not always their best friend

It might seem counterintuitive, but being a good parent doesn’t always mean being your child’s best friend.

Parenting isn’t about popularity. It’s about providing guidance, setting boundaries, and sometimes, making tough decisions that your child might not like.

If you occasionally find yourself in the unenviable position of being the “bad guy”, take it as a sign that you’re doing something right.

You’re teaching your child about rules and consequences, which are critical life lessons. It’s not always an easy role to play, but it’s an essential one for their growth and development.

So if you’re sometimes the ‘mean’ parent who insists on homework before video games or enforces a sensible bedtime, give yourself a pat on the back. You’re doing a great job.

3) You teach them independence

One of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to stand on their own two feet.

In my own experience, I’ve found that the most effective parents are the ones who gradually let go, allowing their children to make their own decisions, make mistakes, and learn from them.

This doesn’t mean abandoning them, but rather providing a safe space for them to grow and develop their own identity.

It’s a concept I discuss in depth in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

If you’re consciously working to build your child’s independence – letting them pick their own clothes, encouraging them to solve their problems before stepping in – you’re doing a wonderful job as a parent. Your children might not say it, but they’re benefitting from your approach.

4) You lead by example

I’ve always believed that the most effective way to teach is by example. After all, children are like little sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear.

One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Einstein who said, “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.”

So if you’re showing respect to others, practicing kindness, and demonstrating hard work, you’re setting a powerful example for your children to follow.

And even if your kids don’t acknowledge it, they’re certainly noticing. Your actions are shaping their understanding of how to interact with the world.

So keep being the role model your children need. You are doing more good than you know.

5) You provide a safe and loving environment

In my years as a parent and relationship expert, I’ve come to realize that providing a safe, loving environment is one of the most significant things we can do for our children.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a home filled with expensive toys or elaborate vacations. Rather, it’s about creating an atmosphere of trust, warmth, and security.

If your home is a place where your child feels safe to express their feelings, where they know they can count on you for comfort and support, you’re doing an exceptional job as a parent.

Your child might not voice it, but this sense of security plays a huge role in their emotional development and overall well-being.

6) You admit when you’re wrong

No one is perfect, and that includes parents. In fact, one of the most valuable lessons we can teach our children is how to handle mistakes.

One of my favorite quotes is from Mahatma Gandhi who said, “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”

If you’re open about your own errors, and show your children how to make amends and learn from them, you’re setting a positive example. It teaches them that it’s okay to err, as long as we acknowledge it and strive to do better.

And trust me, your kids are watching and learning, even if they don’t say it out loud.

Want more insights on parenting? I invite you to follow me on Facebook, where I share my latest articles and thoughts.

7) You worry about being a good parent

It might sound strange, but the very fact that you worry about being a good parent is a sign that you are one.

Parenting is a journey filled with self-doubt and constant questioning. Are we doing enough? Are we doing it right? The truth is, these worries stem from a place of love and the desire to give your child the best.

No one has it all figured out. We’re all learning on the job. So if you find yourself losing sleep over whether or not you’re a good parent, take heart. It’s this deep concern for your child’s well-being that makes you a great one.

Remember, perfection isn’t the goal. Love, understanding, and patience are. So keep going, keep striving, and know that you’re doing a fantastic job. Even if your kids don’t say it, they feel it.

Embrace the Unspoken

Parenting is like walking through a maze, where the walls constantly shift and the end goal remains elusive. It’s filled with uncertainty, self-doubt, and countless sleepless nights. But amidst all that chaos, it’s also filled with unspoken signs of love, resilience, and growth.

I believe that the very fact that you’re reading this article is a testament to your commitment as a parent. You’re constantly seeking ways to improve, to understand, and to love better. And that, my dear reader, is a sign of a good parent.

I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou who said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” As parents, we’re all doing our best. And as we learn and grow along with our children, we continue to do better.

For those who want to delve deeper into some of the concepts we’ve discussed in this article, I recommend watching the following video by Justin Brown. He does a great job of delving more deeply into societal pressures and expectations, which I think is something every parent can relate to: