We all want to exude confidence, don’t we?

But, do we really?

Sometimes, it may feel like you’re boasting the confidence of a lion, but your body language might be telling a different story.

It’s easy to think you’re the picture of self-assuredness and poise when you’re not always aware of what your non-verbal cues are conveying.

Feeling like you’re under a microscope yet? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Many of us believe we’re more confident than we actually appear to be. It’s not always easy to pick up on these subtle signs.

However, today we’re going to explore seven body language signs that might suggest you’re not as confident as you think.

1. You’re avoiding eye contact

Ever found yourself conversing with someone and not being able to maintain eye contact? I have. It’s quite an unsettling feeling.

Eye contact is one of the most potent tools we have to display confidence. But it’s not always easy, right? When we’re nervous or unsure, our eyes tend to dart away, and we end up looking here, there, everywhere except at the person we’re talking to.

I remember during my first job interview; I was so nervous that I spent more time admiring the interviewer’s desk than actually looking at him. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

It’s a common mistake, but it sends a clear message – you’re not as confident as you think.

2. You’re fidgeting excessively

Have you ever caught yourself tapping your foot or twirling your hair during a meeting? I know I have. Fidgeting is a classic sign of nervousness, and it can make you appear less confident.

I recall giving a presentation in college where I couldn’t stop twisting my pen. The feedback from my professor? He said I had good points but my constant pen-twisting was distracting and made me appear unsure.

Excessive fidgeting can be a tell-tale sign that your confidence isn’t as high as you believe. It’s subtle but noticeable, and something we should all be aware of.

3. You’re slouching

Slouching is a classic body language sign of low confidence. When we slouch, we make ourselves smaller, as if trying to disappear or be less noticeable.

On the contrary, individuals who are confident naturally stand tall and maintain an open posture.

Did you know that standing in a confident posture, even when you’re not feeling confident, can actually increase your confidence level? This is known as ‘power posing’, a term coined by social psychologist Amy Cuddy. Her research suggests that our body posture can influence our thoughts and feelings.

So, the next time you catch yourself slouching, straighten up. It’s not just about looking confident; it’s about feeling it too.

4. You’re not taking up space

Do you often find yourself trying to take up as little space as possible? Maybe you’re hunching your shoulders, crossing your legs tightly, or holding your arms close to your body.

This is something we do unconsciously, trying to make ourselves smaller, less noticeable. It’s almost as if we’re apologizing for our existence or trying not to be a burden.

But here’s the thing – you have every right to take up space. You’re just as important, just as deserving, as anyone else in the room.

Your presence matters. So, let your body language reflect that. Stand tall, spread out a little and let the world know you’re here. It’s not only a sign of confidence but an assertion of your self-worth.

5. You’re speaking too quickly

I must confess, I’ve been guilty of this one. In my early days of public speaking, I used to speak at the speed of light. I was so eager to get my message across and finish my speech that I didn’t realize how it made me appear.

Speaking too quickly can send a message that you’re nervous or uncomfortable. And let’s face it, we’ve all been there – that knot in the stomach just before you start speaking, the jittery feeling that makes you race through your words.

Once, after a presentation, a colleague told me that she loved my content but found it hard to keep up because I was speaking so fast. It was a wake-up call and made me understand how my pace of speaking can affect my perceived confidence.

So, slow down. Take a breath. Let your words flow at a comfortable pace. It gives you an air of confidence and allows your message to sink in better.

6. You’re constantly checking your phone

We’re all tied to our phones these days. But have you ever noticed that when you’re nervous or uncomfortable, you tend to check it more often? It’s almost like a safety blanket, giving us something to do and distracting us from our discomfort.

But here’s the downside – constantly checking your phone can make you come across as disinterested or insecure. It sends a signal that you’d rather be somewhere else or that you need a digital crutch to deal with the situation.

I’ve seen it happen in countless meetings – people nervously scrolling through their phones, missing out on the discussion, and inadvertently appearing less confident. So, keep your phone aside. Be present in the moment and engage with those around you. It’s a small change that can make a big difference to your perceived confidence.

7. You’re not smiling

It may seem simple, but a smile can go a long way in displaying confidence. A genuine smile shows that you’re comfortable in your skin and happy to engage with others.

However, when we’re anxious or unsure, we often forget to smile. Our faces become stiff, and we can come across as unapproachable or less confident.

One of my mentors once told me, “A smile is the most powerful tool you have. Use it wisely.” And he was right. Over the years, I’ve found that simply smiling – even when I’m feeling nervous – can make me seem more confident and put others at ease.

So remember to smile. It not only makes you appear more confident but also spreads positivity around you.