10 ways you can find your way back when life gets out of control

Life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster. One moment you’re on top of the world, the next you’re spiraling out of control.
But don’t worry – it’s possible to regain control and find your way back. It’s about making thoughtful choices, even when the path seems murky.
In this article, I’ll share some strategies that have helped me and many others navigate turbulent times. Let’s explore how you can steer your life back on track when things go haywire.
1) Recognize the chaos
Life’s a whirlwind, isn’t it? One minute you’re soaring, the next you’re free-falling. And sometimes, it’s hard to grasp what’s happening.
Here’s the thing: The first step to regaining control is recognizing that things are out of control. It sounds simple, but it’s surprising how many of us bury our heads in the sand.
Why do we do this? Well, it’s human nature to avoid discomfort but avoidance rarely solves problems.
Instead, we need to face our issues head-on. It’s about acknowledging the chaos without judgment or fear. This can be as simple as saying to yourself, “Things are tough right now, and that’s okay.”
Remember, it’s not about beating yourself up or wallowing in self-pity. It’s about understanding your situation and giving yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling.
Recognizing the chaos is the first step towards finding your way back when life gets out of control. Give yourself a moment of silence, take a deep breath, and let’s start there.
2) Embrace the impermanence
When things are going great, we often forget that this too shall pass. Similarly, when we’re in the midst of chaos, it’s easy to feel like it’ll last forever. But it won’t.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned mindfulness teacher and Buddhist monk, once said, “Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible.”
If you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, remember this: your situation is not permanent. It may feel like an unending storm, but just like every hurricane, it will eventually pass.
Understanding and accepting this truth can help you maintain a sense of calm amidst the chaos and guide you back to your path. So hang in there. Trust in the impermanence. And remember, every storm is an opportunity to appreciate the calm that follows.
3) Lean on your support system
We all like to believe we’re invincible, don’t we? But over time, I’ve realized that it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s necessary.
Life can get overwhelming and during these times, leaning on your support system can make all the difference. Whether it’s family, friends, or a trusted therapist, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength and wisdom. After all, we’re social beings and are wired to connect and support each other.
So go ahead – pick up the phone, send that text or schedule a coffee catch up. You’ll be surprised by the strength you draw from these connections when life gets out of control.
4) Cultivate mindfulness
When life spirals out of control, it’s easy to lose ourselves in the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. And that’s where mindfulness comes in.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, the pioneer of mindfulness-based stress reduction, beautifully said, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
Mindfulness is essentially about learning to ‘surf’. It’s about being present in each moment, without judgment. It’s about noticing your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them.
Practically speaking, you can cultivate mindfulness through simple daily practices. Start with dedicating a few minutes each day to sit in silence and focus on your breath. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back. Remember, this isn’t about silencing your thoughts, but rather observing them without judgment.
I’ve personally found mindfulness to be a powerful anchor amidst life’s storms. It has helped me reconnect with myself and regain control over my thoughts and emotions.
Give it a try. Start small, be consistent and watch how mindfulness helps you navigate through the chaos with grace and resilience.
5) Take small steps towards happiness
Life can get messy, can’t it? And when it does, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly brings us joy. But it’s in these moments that happiness becomes even more crucial.
In my own life, I’ve found that taking small steps towards happiness can be incredibly transformative. I’m not talking about huge, life-altering changes, but rather simple actions that bring a smile to your day.
This is something that I talk about in my book “A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World”.
Watch the video below to learn about the practical tools and strategies to help find joy amidst the chaos from this eBook.

Start by identifying what truly makes you happy. It could be as simple as catching up with a friend, going for a walk in nature or losing yourself in a good book.
Then, make a conscious effort to incorporate these activities into your daily routine. Remember, it’s not about making drastic changes overnight. It’s about consistent, small steps towards building a happier life.
Go ahead – take that step. Your happiness is worth it.
6) Practice self-care
When things go haywire, it’s easy to neglect ourselves. But self-care is crucial, especially during tough times.
Think of it this way: You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, in order to navigate through life’s storms, you need to take care of yourself first.
Self-care isn’t indulgent or selfish – it’s necessary. And it doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It’s about small actions that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit.
For me, self-care can be as simple as a five-minute meditation in the morning, a brisk walk in the afternoon, or a calming cup of tea before bed.
Carve out some time for yourself each day. Listen to what your body and mind need. And remember, taking care of yourself isn’t just about surviving the storm – it’s about thriving in spite of it.
7) Keep a gratitude journal
During my own journey with mindfulness, I’ve discovered the transformative power of gratitude. Even in the midst of chaos, finding reasons to be grateful can anchor us and provide much-needed perspective.
Keeping a gratitude journal is a simple yet profound practice. Every day, take a few minutes to jot down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be grand or extraordinary – in fact, it’s often the small, everyday blessings that bring the most joy.
I’ve been maintaining my gratitude journal for years, and it’s become a source of comfort and clarity. It’s a daily reminder that no matter how out of control life gets, there are always things to be grateful for.
Grab a notebook, find a quiet corner, and start jotting down your blessings. You’ll be amazed at how this simple practice can help you find your way back when life gets out of control.
8) Embrace change
Change. It’s inevitable, isn’t it? And yet, it’s something many of us resist.
But when life gets out of control, change is often the path back to stability. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, “The only constant in life is change.”
Embracing change means accepting that things won’t always stay the same. It means being open to new possibilities and willing to let go of what no longer serves you.
This doesn’t mean it will be easy. Change can be challenging and uncomfortable. But it’s also an opportunity for growth and transformation.
When life throws you a curveball, don’t resist. Embrace the change, ride the waves and trust that you’re capable of navigating whatever comes your way.
9) Allow yourself to feel
Here’s something you may find surprising: When life gets out of control, one of the most helpful things you can do is allow yourself to feel.
While it’s natural to want to escape uncomfortable emotions, repressing them can often make things worse. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball under water – eventually, it’s going to pop back up with even more force.
In my own life, I’ve found that acknowledging and allowing my feelings, however uncomfortable they may be, is a critical step towards regaining control.
This doesn’t mean you have to dwell in negativity. It simply means giving yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling without judgement or guilt.
Remember, it’s okay not to be okay all the time. So let those feelings in. Sit with them. Breathe through them. You’ll find that when you stop resisting, those feelings lose their grip over you.
10) Break it down
When life gets out of control, the path back can seem overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be.
One of the simplest strategies I’ve found is to break things down into manageable chunks. Instead of looking at the whole mountain, focus on the next step.
Maybe that’s making a to-do list for the day or setting one small goal for the week. Whatever it is, make sure it’s achievable and realistic.
Remember, every journey starts with a single step. So don’t worry about the entire path. Just focus on that next step. And then the next. Before you know it, you’ll have made significant progress towards regaining control.
Life can sometimes feel like a wild roller coaster ride, full of unexpected twists and turns. But remember, even when things seem chaotic, you have the power to regain control and steer your life back on track.
The strategies we’ve explored today are simple yet powerful steps you can take to navigate through life’s storms. From practicing mindfulness to embracing change and leaning on your support system, each of these steps can help you find your way back when life gets out of control.
If these strategies resonate with you, I highly recommend checking out my book “A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World”. It provides practical tools and insights to help navigate through life’s messiness and build a happier, more fulfilling life.
Remember, it’s not about avoiding the storms but learning how to dance in the rain. So take a deep breath, embrace the journey and trust in your ability to navigate through any storm that comes your way.