10 things you should never feel guilty for, according to psychologists

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | August 18, 2024, 7:47 pm

Guilt is an emotion we’ve all experienced. It’s that nagging feeling when you think you’ve done something wrong or let someone down.

But here’s the thing – not every feeling of guilt is justified. In fact, psychology tells us that there are certain things we should never feel guilty about.

In this list, we’ll uncover 10 things that you should never feel guilty for, according to psychological research. Let’s free ourselves from unnecessary guilt and live a happier, healthier life.

Read on and see if any of these resonate with you.

1) Saying no

Sometimes, we feel like we need to be superheroes. We try to be there for everyone, do everything, and never let anyone down.

But guess what? Even superheroes need breaks.

According to psychology, it’s perfectly okay to say no when you need to. Whether it’s turning down an invite to a social event because you’re exhausted, or declining extra work because you’re already swamped, it’s important to prioritize your own needs.

Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s about setting boundaries and protecting your own well-being.

Brené Brown, research professor and author, says it best:

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” 

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to say no. There’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty about it.

2) Taking time for self-care

Self-care is a term that’s been thrown around a lot lately. But how many of us actually take the time to care for ourselves?

I’ll let you in on a little secret – I used to feel guilty about taking time for self-care. I thought it was selfish and indulgent. But then I burned out.

I realized I couldn’t be there for others if I wasn’t taking care of myself. And psychology backs this up. 

As Barbara Markway, Ph.D., suggests in Psychology Today, it’s beneficial to engage in activities that help you connect with your senses, such as practicing breathing exercises, enjoying aromatherapy, or getting a massage.

Additionally, you can partake in activities that bring you joy, such as crafting, watching movies, or going for a walk.

Now, whether it’s going for a run, reading a book, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea, I make sure to carve out some me-time every day. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.

And you know what? I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. Neither should you.

3) Not meeting everyone’s expectations

In life, we’re often faced with a myriad of expectations. From our parents, friends, partners, even from society as a whole. It can feel like we’re constantly striving to meet these expectations, and falling short can induce guilt.

However, the reality is that it’s impossible to meet everyone’s expectations all the time. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlights that individuals who are overly concerned with fulfilling others’ expectations often experience significant stress and reduced well-being. 

Give yourself permission to let go of this impossible task. Your worth is not determined by others’ expectations. 

4) Making mistakes

We all make mistakes – it’s a part of being human. But too often, we allow guilt to consume us when we mess up, even when it’s a minor misstep.

According to psychology, this guilt can be more damaging than the mistake itself. It can keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from moving forward.

Instead of wallowing in guilt, we should view our mistakes as learning opportunities. They’re a chance to grow, improve, and become better versions of ourselves.

As Albert Einstein said:

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

When you make a mistake, remember that it doesn’t define you. Don’t let guilt hold you back. Instead, acknowledge the mistake, learn from it, and move on. No guilt necessary.

5) Choosing your own path

In a world filled with societal norms and expectations, it’s often easy to feel guilty when we decide to choose our own path.

However, psychology tells us that it’s important to live a life authentic to ourselves. This means making decisions based on what feels right to us, not what others expect or what society deems “normal”.

Whether it’s choosing a non-traditional career, deciding not to have children, or pursuing a hobby others don’t understand, these are all valid choices. You have the right to live your life the way you want.

Famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

This quote emphasizes the value of authenticity and living a life true to oneself rather than conforming to external expectations.

Go ahead, choose your own path without any guilt. After all, it’s your life, and you’re the one who has to live it.

6) Prioritizing your mental health

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” – Abraham Maslow

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Yet, so many of us feel guilty when we take the necessary steps to protect and prioritize our mental well-being.

The truth is, it’s not just okay to prioritize your mental health – it’s crucial. If you’re not feeling mentally well, it’s important to seek help and take time for yourself. It’s not something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about.

Life can be tough, and we all have our struggles. It’s okay to admit that you’re not okay, and it’s okay to do what you need to in order to feel better.

There’s no need for guilt when prioritizing your mental health. It’s not a luxury, but a necessity.

7) Cutting ties with toxic people

There was a time in my life when I found myself in a friendship that was more draining than fulfilling. It was a relationship that left me feeling emotionally drained, and it took me a while to realize that this wasn’t healthy.

According to psychology, it’s not just okay, but sometimes necessary to cut ties with toxic people.

This applies to all kinds of relationships – friendships, family, romantic relationships.

Dr. Henry Cloud once said,”Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.” 

These quotes highlight the importance of establishing boundaries and removing toxic influences to foster personal growth and well-being.

Even though it was hard, I made the decision to distance myself from this person. While guilt tried to creep in, I reminded myself that I deserve relationships that are supportive, reciprocal, and positive.

And so do you. Don’t let guilt keep you stuck in toxic relationships. You have every right to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not bring you down.

8) Being happy

It might sound strange, but yes, some of us actually feel guilty for being happy. Maybe it’s because others around us are struggling, or maybe we feel like we don’t deserve it.

But here’s the thing – everyone deserves happiness. It’s not a scarce resource that needs to be rationed out. Your happiness doesn’t diminish anyone else’s.

In fact, research shows that happiness can be contagious. By allowing yourself to be happy, you might just spread some joy to those around you.

9) Asking for help

In today’s world, we often glorify independence and self-sufficiency. Because of this, asking for help can sometimes feel like a sign of weakness, leading to feelings of guilt.

However, psychology tells us that asking for help isn’t a weakness, but a strength. It shows self-awareness and the ability to reach out when necessary.

Whether it’s asking a friend for advice, seeking professional help, or even simply asking someone to lend a hand with a heavy load, there’s no need to feel guilty.

Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist, says it best:

“Seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to recognize when you need support and to reach out for it.”

10) Prioritizing your own needs

In a world that often demands us to put others first, it’s easy to feel guilty when we prioritize our own needs.

But here’s the most crucial thing to keep in mind – taking care of yourself is not just okay, it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup. By prioritizing your own needs, you’re ensuring that you have the energy and capacity to care for others.

As Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, says:

“When we prioritize our own needs and practice self-care, we improve the very quality of how we relate to others. Our families, friends, and coworkers get to experience us as the best and fullest versions of ourselves—happy and present.”

Whether it’s taking time for self-care, setting boundaries, or simply doing what makes you happy, don’t let guilt trick you into thinking you’re being selfish.

Embracing the freedom from guilt

The intricacies of human emotions are deeply interconnected with our psychological and emotional well-being.

A fundamental understanding that psychology brings to light is the damaging impact of unwarranted guilt on our mental health.

Feeling guilty for prioritizing our needs, seeking help, or even being happy can be detrimental. It’s like an invisible chain, shackling us and preventing us from living our lives to the fullest.

The key to breaking free from this chain is recognizing that there is no need for guilt in these areas. As we’ve seen, prioritizing your needs, setting boundaries, asking for help, and even embracing your happiness are not just okay, they’re necessary.

Well-known author Wayne Dyer said it best:

“Guilt is the most useless of all erroneous zone behaviors. It is by far the greatest waste of emotional energy. Why? Because, by definition, you are feeling immobilized in the present over something that has already taken place, and no amount of guilt can ever change history.”

So, as we move forward, let’s strive to let go of unnecessary guilt. Let’s live our lives in a way that brings us joy and fulfillment without the weight of unwarranted guilt holding us back.

Remember – you have every right to live your life on your own terms. And there’s absolutely no need to feel guilty about it.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.