In life, it’s not always about what you say, but it’s often about what you choose not to say.

Believe it or not, there are some things better left unsaid. Psychology backs this up, pointing to certain personal details and opinions that are best kept to oneself.

We’re going to delve into this topic and identify 10 specific things you should always keep to yourself. Trust me, it’s for your own good.

Let’s dive in.

1) Past Resentments

We all carry some form of baggage from our past. It could be a grudge, a fall out with a close friend, or a hurtful comment that still stings.

Psychology suggests that sharing these past resentments with others might not be the best idea. Why? Well, it can make you seem negative and stuck in the past, rather than someone who is forward-looking and proactive.

What’s more, constantly bringing up past resentments can create a perception of you that’s far removed from your true self. It can also lead to unnecessary drama and conflict.

It’s better to deal with these issues privately or with the help of a professional. After all, your present and future matter more than what’s behind you.

2) Personal Goals

I’ve always found that sharing my personal goals with others can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s great to have people cheering us on. But on the other hand, it can lead to unwanted pressure and expectations.

Take it from me. I once shared my goal of running a marathon with a group of friends. While some were supportive, others constantly asked about my progress and even doubted my ability to achieve it. This led to unnecessary stress and, at times, self-doubt.

Psychology suggests that keeping your personal goals to yourself can actually increase your chances of achieving them. It allows you to work at your own pace without external pressures or judgments.

When you set a new goal, think twice before sharing it with others.

3) Financial Status

Money, they say, is a good servant but a bad master. It’s also a topic that can quickly lead to discomfort or envy when discussed openly.

Did you know that in some cultures, specifically in Nordic countries like Sweden, Norway and Finland, tax returns are publicly available? This openness about income is intended to promote fairness and trust. However, in many other cultures, including the U.S. and UK, discussing personal finances is often considered taboo and can lead to complex social dynamics.

Psychology suggests that keeping your financial status to yourself can help maintain harmony in relationships. It prevents unnecessary comparisons and negative emotions like resentment or envy.

Whether you’re doing well or struggling financially, it might be best to keep the specifics under wraps.

4) Negative opinions about others

We all have our own opinions about the people we interact with. It’s natural. However, voicing negative opinions about others, especially when unsolicited, can lead to hurt feelings and damaged relationships.

Psychology emphasizes the power of positive communication. Focusing on the good in people fosters healthier relationships and a more positive environment.

Next time you’re tempted to share a negative opinion about someone, consider the potential impact of your words.

It’s often better to keep such thoughts to yourself unless explicitly asked for your opinion, and even then, tact and diplomacy go a long way.

5) Family Problems

Every family has its unique set of challenges. However, openly discussing these issues with others can be a sensitive matter.

Psychology advises that sharing your family problems with others can sometimes worsen the situation. It might distort other people’s perception of you or your family and could even lead to unsolicited advice or gossip.

Of course, it’s essential to have a support network to lean on during tough times. However, it’s crucial to choose wisely whom you confide in about sensitive matters like family problems.

And sometimes, professional help like a counselor or therapist is the best route to take.

6) Personal Fears

We all have fears. Some we conquer, some we live with, and some stay hidden deep within us. These fears are often a part of our most vulnerable selves.

Overcoming fears is a personal journey, and psychology suggests that sharing them with others doesn’t always help. In fact, it might lead to others using those fears against you or making you feel more self-conscious about them.

However, acknowledging these fears to yourself is the first step in overcoming them. It’s a journey best taken at your own pace, with the support of trusted loved ones or professionals when needed.

Everyone has fears, but it’s how we face them that truly defines us.

7) Past Mistakes

In my early career, I made a significant error in a project I was leading. It was a tough pill to swallow and a learning curve that I had to navigate privately. Discussing it with others only seemed to magnify the mistake and prolong the recovery process.

Psychology suggests that dwelling on past mistakes in front of others can be counterproductive. It can lead to rumination, increased stress, and can even affect your self-esteem.

While it’s essential to learn from our mistakes, highlighting them in conversations doesn’t always serve us well. Instead, acknowledging the mistake, learning from it and moving forward is the key to growth.

8) Acts of Kindness

Imagine this: you’ve just helped a stranger change their flat tire. It feels good to do good, doesn’t it? But should you broadcast it?

Psychology suggests that sharing your acts of kindness can sometimes dilute the genuine sentiment behind them. It can give the impression that you’re seeking validation or praise, even when that’s not the case.

Performing random acts of kindness is a beautiful trait, but keeping them to yourself often preserves their purity. After all, the real reward is the act itself, not the recognition.

9) Self-doubts

We all have moments of self-doubt, where we question our abilities or decisions. It’s a part of being human.

However, psychology suggests that openly sharing these self-doubts can sometimes lead to others questioning your capabilities too. It might affect their perception of your confidence or competence.

It’s important to remember that everyone experiences doubts and insecurities. However, discussing them with a mentor, coach, or therapist might be more beneficial than sharing them widely. They can provide guidance and strategies to overcome these feelings and boost your self-confidence.

10) Secrets shared in confidence

If someone entrusts you with a secret, it’s a sign of their trust in you. Breaking this trust by sharing their secret with others can lead to damaged relationships and loss of credibility.

Psychology underscores that maintaining confidentiality is paramount in building and maintaining trust. It’s a fundamental aspect of respect and integrity.

If someone shares a secret with you, keep it to yourself. It’s not just about preserving their trust in you, but also about being the kind of person who respects the confidence of others.

Final Thoughts

Navigating the world of interpersonal relationships is complex. Knowing what to share and what to keep to yourself is a delicate balancing act.

The things we choose not to say can often hold as much weight, if not more, than the things we do say. Psychology helps us understand why this is and guides us towards healthy communication habits.

Remember, keeping certain things to yourself isn’t about secrecy or deceit. It’s about understanding the value of personal boundaries, respect for others, and the preservation of your own peace of mind.

This isn’t just about what you should keep to yourself, but also about why. It’s about understanding yourself, your emotions, and your relationships on a deeper level. It’s about growth, maturity and emotional intelligence.

As you move forward, consider these ten points. Reflect on them. Use them as a guide in your interactions and watch how they improve your relationships and personal well-being.

Because at the end of the day, the person you should be most honest with is yourself.