We all have moments when our self-confidence takes a hit. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we’re the ones dealing the blows.

Some behaviors can unintentionally broadcast low self-esteem to the world, leading others to perceive us as less capable than we truly are.

In this piece, I’m going to reveal ten things you might be doing that unintentionally signal low self-confidence. The first step towards boosting your confidence is recognizing these habits.

Let’s get started.

1) You’re constantly apologizing

We all have those moments when we mess up and need to swallow our pride and say sorry. But for some of us, “I’m sorry” has become a habitual reply to just about everything.

Apologizing when it’s not necessary can signal low self-confidence. It’s as if we’re constantly on guard, ready to take the blame for anything that goes wrong, even when it’s out of our control.

If you find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t your fault or for merely existing, it might be time to re-evaluate your self-perception.

You don’t need to apologize for taking up space or expressing your thoughts and feelings. Being mindful of when and why you apologize can be a big step towards boosting your self-confidence.

2) You’re always downplaying your achievements

In my own life, I’ve noticed that one sure sign of low self-confidence is downplaying my achievements. It used to be a reflex action for me. Whenever someone complimented me on a job well done, my immediate response was to say something like, “Oh, it was nothing. Anyone could have done it.”

This behavior is more than just modesty. It’s a way of dismantling your own successes, making them seem less significant than they are. It’s as if we’re afraid that owning our achievements will come off as arrogant or egotistical.

But the truth is, acknowledging your accomplishments doesn’t make you conceited – it shows you recognize your own worth.

It took me some time to realize this, but once I did, I started accepting compliments with a simple “Thank you,” instead of brushing them off. It’s a small change, but it’s made a big difference in how I view myself.

3) You avoid eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can convey a range of emotions, from interest and affection to hostility and dominance.

Yet, many of us avoid making eye contact, especially when we’re feeling insecure or uncomfortable. This can be particularly prevalent in social situations or public speaking engagements where we might feel intimidated or judged.

Interestingly, a study from the National Institutes of Health found that people who avoid eye contact are often perceived as less confident, less trustworthy, and even less intelligent.

Maintaining good eye contact doesn’t mean staring without blinking. It’s about being present in the conversation, showing the other person that you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say. It’s a small tweak to your body language that can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

4) You’re excessively self-deprecating

A sense of humor can be a great way to break the ice and put people at ease. But when it comes at your own expense too often, it can signal low self-confidence.

Constantly making fun of yourself or putting yourself down not only affects how you see yourself but also how others perceive you. Over time, it can erode your self-esteem and reinforce negative self-beliefs.

It’s important to remember that we’re all human and we all have our quirks and flaws. But instead of constantly highlighting them in a negative way, try to embrace them as part of what makes you unique.

You’re more than the sum of your perceived shortcomings. And once you start believing this, others will too.

5) You don’t assert your boundaries

Setting boundaries is about respecting your own needs, time, and personal space. However, those struggling with low self-confidence often find it difficult to assert these boundaries.

You might find yourself constantly saying “yes” to tasks you don’t have the capacity for, or staying silent when someone oversteps your comfort zone. This can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and disrespected.

Remember, it’s okay to say “no”. It’s okay to voice your discomfort. Asserting your boundaries isn’t about being confrontational; it’s about standing up for your own wellbeing.

By respecting your own boundaries, you show others how to respect them too. And that’s a powerful boost to self-confidence.

6) You seek validation from others

We all like to feel appreciated and valued. But when we start relying on external validation to feel good about ourselves, it’s a sign of low self-confidence.

You might find yourself constantly seeking approval or affirmation from others, whether it’s about your work, your appearance, or your choices. And when you don’t receive it, you may start to question your own worth.

But here’s the heartfelt truth: Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. You don’t need anyone else’s stamp of approval to validate your existence or your choices.

Learning to appreciate yourself, celebrating your own victories, and loving who you are – these are the keys to building self-confidence that is not shaken by external opinions. After all, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. So make sure it’s a good one.

7) You compare yourself to others

There was a time when I would scroll through social media and find myself feeling inadequate compared to the picture-perfect lives I saw. The success, the happiness, the seemingly flawless existence – it all felt like a standard I could never meet.

This comparison trap is a dangerous one. It’s easy to look at others and feel like you’re falling short, especially in an age where carefully curated online personas are the norm.

But the truth is, everyone has their own struggles and battles they’re fighting. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel is unfair and unrealistic.

Learning to focus on my own journey, acknowledging my own growth and achievements, helped me break free from this cycle. Your only competition should be with who you were yesterday, not with someone else’s today.

8) You’re a perfectionist

On the surface, perfectionism might seem like a sign of high self-confidence. After all, striving for the best in everything you do should be a good thing, right?

However, the constant need for perfection can actually be an indication of low self-confidence. It often stems from a fear of making mistakes, a fear of criticism, or a fear of not being good enough.

Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, burnout, and immense pressure that can paralyze you from taking action.

Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, mistakes are opportunities for growth and learning. Embrace them. Aim for progress, not perfection. That’s the real path to success and self-confidence.

9) You rarely speak up in group settings

Whether it’s during team meetings at work or social gatherings, if you find yourself rarely speaking up or voicing your opinions, it might be a sign of low self-confidence.

You might fear that your ideas aren’t good enough or worry about how others might react. This could cause you to stay silent, even when you have valuable input to share.

But remember, your voice matters. Your thoughts and ideas are just as valid and deserving of being heard as anyone else’s.

Start small. Share an idea in a meeting or voice your opinion in a friendly discussion. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel, and the more confident you’ll become.

10) You neglect self-care

At the heart of self-confidence is self-care. When we neglect to look after ourselves – physically, mentally, emotionally – it can often be a sign of low self-confidence.

You might believe you’re not worth the time or effort, or you might prioritize others’ needs over your own. But neglecting self-care leaves you running on empty, and it’s hard to feel confident when you’re running on fumes.

Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and respect. It’s about recognizing that you deserve to be cared for, by yourself as much as anyone else.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself, and watch your self-confidence grow.