10 things a high level manipulator will do when you finally stick up for yourself

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | November 29, 2024, 8:31 pm

There’s a glaring difference between someone with good intentions and a master manipulator.

Manipulation is a hidden game, one where the player is more interested in their goals rather than yours. They’ll do whatever it takes to win, even if it means bending the truth.

But what happens when you finally stand up to them? When you say, “Enough is enough”?

This is all about the ten tricks a seasoned manipulator will pull when you start standing up for yourself. And trust me, being aware of these tactics can be a game-changer.

1) They’ll play the victim

Few things are as potent as the Victim Card when it comes to manipulation.

Skilled manipulators have an uncanny ability to twist situations around. When you confront them, they’ll often make themselves appear as the injured party.

It’s a classic deflection technique. By painting themselves as the victim, they aim to elicit sympathy and guilt, making you question your decision to stand up for yourself.

This ploy can be extremely effective because it triggers our innate desire to comfort and protect. But remember, this is just a diversion tactic. Stick to your guns and don’t let their emotional theatrics sway you.

It’s crucial to recognize this tactic for what it is – a manipulative maneuver designed to deflect responsibility and maintain control. Awareness is key in deflecting this sort of manipulation.

2) They’ll throw you off with sudden kindness

Manipulators can act unpredictably, and this often includes unexpected bouts of kindness.

I remember a time when I finally confronted a manipulative friend. Instead of the argument or denial I expected, he suddenly became extremely nice. He complimented me, offered to help with tasks he’d normally avoid, and even suggested we go on a trip together.

It was confusing, and for a moment, I second-guessed my decision to confront him. But then I realized it was just another manipulation tactic. He was trying to make me forget why I was upset in the first place.

This is a common technique manipulators use to keep you off balance. So, don’t let these sudden acts of kindness cloud your judgement or make you forget your reasons for standing up for yourself.

Related article: 10 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for, according to psychology

3) They’ll use gaslighting to make you doubt your reality

Gaslighting is a common method used by high-level manipulators. Named after the 1944 film “Gaslight”, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s losing her mind, it’s a tactic aimed at making you question your own perception, memory, or sanity.

In essence, the manipulator will deny or distort facts to create a different reality that suits their narrative. They might tell you that an event didn’t happen the way you remember it, or they might completely deny an event ever took place.

This technique is powerful and can lead to a lot of self-doubt and confusion. But knowing about it can help you identify when someone is trying to gaslight you, allowing you to stand firm in your recollection and perception of events.

4) They’ll try to isolate you from others

Manipulators understand the power of numbers. When you’re alone, you’re more vulnerable and easier to control.

Standing up for yourself might trigger their need to isolate you from your support system. They might start bad-mouthing your friends or family, planting seeds of doubt about their intentions or loyalty.

This tactic aims to create a divide between you and the people who have your back. It makes it harder for you to seek advice or validate your feelings about the manipulator’s actions.

So, if you notice someone trying to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones, be cautious. It’s likely a manipulative tactic that you should resist.

5) They’ll attempt to regain control through intimidation

When manipulators feel their control slipping away, they often resort to intimidation tactics.

They might raise their voice, make threatening remarks, or exhibit aggressive behavior. The idea is to instill fear or discomfort, making you back down and return to a state of submission.

If you encounter such behavior when standing up for yourself, it’s crucial not to let it deter you. Remember, their aggressive reaction is a sign that you’re reclaiming your power, and they’re struggling to cope with this shift in dynamics.

6) They’ll resort to guilt-tripping

Ah, the guilt trip – a manipulator’s old faithful.

When you stand up for yourself, they may try to make you feel guilty about it. They’ll point out how much they’ve done for you, how ungrateful you’re being, or how much they’re hurting because of your actions. It’s a heart-wrenching tactic designed to make you feel like the bad guy.

But here’s the thing: standing up for yourself is not wrong. You’re not being unkind by asserting your boundaries. You have every right to protect your well-being and mental peace. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Remember, guilt is a heavy burden to carry, particularly when it’s unwarranted. So don’t let their guilt-tripping take you down.

7) They’ll bring up past mistakes to derail the conversation

Manipulators have a knack for remembering every mistake you’ve ever made.

Once, when I finally plucked up the courage to confront a manipulative colleague about his behavior, he immediately brought up a project I’d messed up years ago. He used it to shift the blame onto me and away from his own actions.

This is a classic move. They dig up past mistakes not because they’re still upset about them, but because they want to divert attention away from their own wrongdoings.

So, if you find yourself being reminded of past errors when you’re trying to address present issues, don’t fall for it. Stay focused on the matter at hand.

8) They’ll agree with you – but it’s not a victory

Sometimes, when you stand up to a manipulator, they might surprisingly agree with you.

You might think, “Great! They’ve finally seen the light!” Unfortunately, this could be another manipulation tactic. By agreeing with you, they create the illusion of change without actually doing anything different.

This false agreement is designed to make you drop your guard and stop challenging their behavior. So, be wary when they suddenly capitulate. Insist on seeing real, consistent changes in their actions, not just in their words.

9) They’ll make you feel like you’re overreacting

When a manipulator senses you standing up for yourself, they might try to downplay your feelings or concerns.

They’ll use phrases like “You’re making a big deal out of nothing” or “You’re too sensitive” to make you second guess your reactions. This is an attempt to invalidate your feelings and make you question your judgement.

But remember this: Your feelings are valid. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to voice it and stand up for yourself. Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re overreacting.

10) They won’t give up easily

Manipulators are persistent. When you start to stand up for yourself, they won’t just throw in the towel. They’ll test different tactics, push boundaries, and do whatever they can to regain control.

But here’s what you need to remember: Your strength lies in your perseverance. The more you resist their attempts to manipulate you, the less power they have. So, brace yourself for a battle, but know that it’s one worth fighting.

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