Ever found yourself questioning your thoughts because of something someone else said?

This could be a case of gaslighting. It’s when someone tries to take control by making you doubt your own feelings and beliefs.

Psychology gives us a sneak peek into some phrases these people often use to plant self-doubt.

In this article, we’re going to spotlight 10 common things a gaslighter might say to make you question yourself.

So, let’s dive right in, and by the end, you’ll be better at spotting when someone’s messing with your head.

1. “You’re overreacting”

The first phrase that a gaslighter might use is “You’re overreacting”. This is a classic technique to make you question your reaction to a situation.

By telling you that you’re overreacting, they’re subtly suggesting that your feelings and thoughts are invalid or excessive. They aim to make you doubt your judgment, eventually leading you to rely on their perception of events instead of your own.

It’s a sneaky way of gaining control and it’s important to recognize it when it happens.

2. “You’re too sensitive”

Another common phrase gaslighters use is “You’re too sensitive”.

This works in a similar way to “You’re overreacting”, making you question whether your emotional response is appropriate. It’s a way for the gaslighter to shift blame, making it seem like the issue lies with your sensitivity, rather than their own actions or words.

This can lead you to suppress your feelings and thoughts, giving the gaslighter greater influence over your perceptions. Recognizing this tactic can help you maintain your self-belief and emotional integrity.

3. “That never happened”

Now, this is one I’ve personally experienced – when a gaslighter flatly denies something you know happened. They’ll say “That never happened”, even when you’re absolutely certain it did.

For me, it was a friend who denied saying something hurtful, even though I clearly remembered the incident. This tactic can make you question your memory and reality, leaving you feeling disoriented and unsure.

But remember, it’s not about your memory being faulty – it’s a manipulation technique to make you question your own sanity.

4. “Everyone agrees with me”

Another phrase a gaslighter often uses is “Everyone agrees with me”. This statement is designed to make you feel isolated and as if your viewpoint is the odd one out.

The interesting fact here, according to psychologists, is that this phrase isn’t always based on truth. Gaslighters may just be saying it to manipulate you into doubting your own thoughts and feelings. It’s a strategy to make you feel like you’re fighting a battle alone – but remember, it’s just a tactic, not necessarily the truth.

5. “I don’t want to argue with you”

The phrase “I don’t want to argue with you” might seem harmless on the surface, but in the context of gaslighting, it’s anything but.

When a gaslighter says this, they’re implying that your concerns or feelings are just arguments or fights waiting to happen. It’s an upsetting tactic that can make you feel like your emotions are a burden, causing you to avoid sharing your feelings to maintain peace.

No one should feel like their emotions are a problem – remember, it’s okay to express how you feel and defend your perspective.

6. “You’re imagining things”

A phrase I’ve come across in my own life is “You’re imagining things”. This is a classic gaslighting technique designed to make you question your own perception of reality.

I remember a situation where a colleague continuously dismissed my concerns about a project by saying I was just imagining problems. This made me doubt my professional judgment and caused quite a bit of stress. But with time, I learned to trust my instincts and recognize this as just another underhanded gaslighting tactic.

7. “You’re crazy”

Let’s cut to the chase – “You’re crazy” is a phrase no one should ever have to hear. It’s raw, it’s harsh, and yes, it’s a classic gaslighting technique.

When a gaslighter tells you that you’re crazy, they’re trying to discredit you, making others less likely to believe you if you point out their manipulative behavior. It’s a nasty way of undermining your credibility and self-esteem.

But remember, it says more about them than it does about you – don’t let it shake your belief in yourself.

8. “You’re not remembering correctly”

This one hits close to home for me. I’ve been told “You’re not remembering correctly” more times than I can count. It’s a manipulative way to cause you to doubt your own memory and experiences.

In my case, it was during a past relationship when my partner would dismiss my recollections of events and insist I was misremembering things. It took a while, but eventually, I recognized this as a form of gaslighting. Trust in your memories and experiences, they’re valid and they matter.

9. “I never said that”

Let’s be real here – “I never said that” is a lie gaslighters use to make you question your own memory.

They might have said something hurtful or made a promise they didn’t keep, but when confronted, they’ll deny it outright. This is a wicked way to make you believe that you misheard or misunderstood. It’s an attempt to rewrite history, and it’s not okay. 

10. “You’re just trying to create drama”

Last but not least, gaslighters often accuse you of “just trying to create drama”.

They use this phrase when you express your feelings or concerns, making you feel guilty for even having these emotions. It’s their way of dismissing your feelings and turning the tables so they appear as the victim. It’s harsh, it’s unfair, and it’s manipulative.

Remember, expressing genuine emotions and concerns is not creating drama – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.