10 small-talk phrases people use without realizing how awkward they sound

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | January 13, 2025, 5:06 am

Ever found yourself in a conversation that’s just plain dull? We all have.

Small talk is that thing we can’t avoid, whether it’s a chat with the boss, a new neighbor, or a random fellow on a plane. And truth be told, small talk can be hard.

Sometimes we end up blurting out phrases that sound super awkward and we don’t even realize it.

In this article, we’re going to check out the top 10 phrases that people often use in small talk which actually sound pretty awkward.

These are those “Did I really say that?” moments that make you cringe a bit.

So buckle up, folks! We’re about to embark on an amusing journey through the land of awkward small talk.

Who knows? By the end of this, we might just turn those everyday chats into something a little less awkward and a lot more fun!

1. “Long time no see”

This phrase is a classic in the realm of small talk. We’ve all used it at some point, and while it seems harmless, it can often sound awkward, especially if you use it every time you meet someone.

The problem is that “long time no see” can imply you’ve been avoiding the person or you’re not happy to see them (even though it’s quite the opposite). This phrase also carries a sense of obligation – as if we have to explain our absence or apologize for not keeping in touch.

If you want to avoid this social pitfall, try something more enthusiastic like, “It’s great to see you!” This not only sounds more genuine but it also conveys your happiness to meet them again.

2. “You look tired”

The intention behind this phrase might be of concern, but it can often land in the awkward zone. Telling someone they look tired might imply that they also look worn out, unattractive, or even older.

It’s a comment on their appearance, which is personal and can make them feel self-conscious. Instead of expressing concern this way, try asking about their well-being like, “How’ve you been keeping?”, or share a positive observation instead like, “I love your outfit today!”

Remember, the goal of small talk is to make both parties feel comfortable and relaxed, not self-conscious or stressed.

3. “Did you lose weight?”

This one is a real doozy. You’d think it’s a compliment, right? But trust me, it can get super awkward. I remember once, I ran into an old friend at a party and blurted out, “Wow, did you lose weight?” thinking I was being nice.

Turns out, she had been ill and yes, she had lost weight but not in a good way. I felt like a total jerk.

The problem with this phrase is that it makes assumptions about the other person’s body and their feelings about it. Plus, if they haven’t lost weight, it could imply that they needed to!

A safer option might be to say something like, “You look fantastic!” This way, you’re complimenting their overall appearance and not focusing on their weight.

4. “It’s not rocket science”

This phrase is often used to suggest that something is not as complicated as it seems. However, it can come across as condescending and may make the other person feel belittled, especially if they’re struggling with the task at hand.

Here’s an interesting fact: The phrase “It’s not rocket science” became popular during the space race in the 1950s and 1960s, when rocket science was considered the pinnacle of complexity.

When it comes to small talk, it’s always a good idea to steer clear of phrases that could potentially belittle or insult someone. Instead, try showing empathy with something like, “I can see why this might be challenging,” or offer help if it’s appropriate.

5. “At least you have a job”

While this phrase might seem like a way to look on the bright side, it can actually feel dismissive to the person you’re talking to. By saying “at least you have a job,” you might unintentionally undermine someone’s feelings about their difficult work situation.

Picture this: a friend is pouring their heart out about how stressed they are at work. They’re not feeling appreciated, they’re overworked, and then you say, “At least you have a job.” This could make them feel like their problems aren’t valid or important.

Instead of minimizing their feelings, express your support and understanding. A heartfelt response like, “I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this,” can go a long way in making them feel heard and validated.

6. “No offense, but…”

This phrase is a classic in the awkward small talk playbook, and I must confess, I’ve used it more than once. Here’s the thing though – it tends to signal that you’re about to say something offensive.

I recall once saying to a colleague, “No offense, but that color doesn’t suit you.” Guess what? They were offended. I had essentially told them they made a poor fashion choice.

“No offense, but…” usually prefaces a negative opinion and can make the person you’re talking to feel defensive or upset. A better approach? Keep the potentially offensive opinion to yourself, or find a more tactful way to share constructive feedback.

7. “You always…” or “You never…”

Alright, let’s get real here. When you start a sentence with “You always…” or “You never…”, you’re basically setting up a criticism bomb. It’s a surefire way to put someone on the defensive and let’s be honest, it just feels pretty harsh.

These phrases suggest that the person habitually does something wrong or fails to meet expectations. It’s like saying, “You’re consistently disappointing me.” Ouch.

Instead of dropping the criticism bomb, how about we frame things from our perspective? By saying something like, “I’ve noticed that…” or “It seems to me like…”, we can voice our concerns in a less accusatory way and keep the conversation friendly.

8. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”

This phrase, while seemingly polite, can feel pretty rude, because, well, you’re interrupting someone. It suggests that what you have to say is more important than what the other person is currently saying.

Instead of interrupting, try waiting for a natural pause in the conversation to share your thoughts. If you absolutely must interrupt, a simple “Sorry for interrupting…” is more straightforward and sounds less pretentious.

9. “You’re too sensitive”

Let’s get real here. If there’s one phrase that’s a real conversation killer, it’s this one. Telling someone they’re “too sensitive” is like saying their feelings are wrong or exaggerated. And let me tell you, invalidating someone’s feelings is never a good move.

Imagine being genuinely upset about something and someone tells you that you’re overreacting. That doesn’t feel good, does it? The truth is, we all have a right to our emotions, and being told otherwise can be deeply hurtful.

Instead of dismissing someone’s feelings, try acknowledging them with empathy and understanding. A simple “I see that you’re really upset about this” can go a long way in making the other person feel heard and validated.

10. “It could be worse”

Now, this may seem like a harmless attempt to provide perspective or lighten the mood, but it can come across as quite insensitive. When someone is going through a tough time, hearing “it could be worse” doesn’t really help. In fact, it can feel like their struggle is being minimized.

Imagine losing your job and someone says to you, “Well, it could be worse.” It feels dismissive, right? Rather than offering empty platitudes, try expressing genuine sympathy like, “I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this.”

Remember, small talk can be a minefield of awkwardness, but with these tips in mind, we can hopefully navigate it with a little more grace and a lot less cringe!

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