Emotional maturity isn’t about your age or what you’ve been through. It’s about how you handle what life throws at you.

Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a lifelong student of mindfulness and Buddhism. Through my journey, I’ve learned that emotional maturity boils down to how you react, what you feel and how you let it shape your decisions.

Being emotionally mature is all about understanding your emotions, managing them effectively, and using them to grow. And guess what? Psychology agrees.

If you’re wondering where you stand on the emotional maturity scale, here are some signs that might suggest you’re more emotionally mature than the average person. And remember, it’s not about perfection, but progression.

Let’s dive in!

1) You understand impermanence

In the grand scheme of life, everything is fleeting. The highs, the lows, the joys, and the sorrows – it’s all part of the dance of existence.

If you’re able to sit back and observe this dance without getting too attached to any particular outcome, you’re displaying a high degree of emotional maturity. It’s a fundamental concept in mindfulness and Buddhism called impermanence.

Psychology also recognizes this attribute. The ability to accept change and adapt to it is a hallmark of emotional intelligence and resilience. Instead of being stuck in past memories or future anxieties, you’re able to stay present and navigate life with more grace.

You’re not swayed by every wind of emotion. Instead, you see your feelings as transient states that come and go. You don’t suppress them, nor do you let them control your actions.

Understanding impermanence doesn’t mean you’re indifferent. It means you’re wise enough to know that holding on too tightly to anything can lead to suffering. And that’s a sign of emotional maturity if there ever was one.

2) You practice mindful acceptance

Life is full of ups and downs, and no one is exempt from this roller coaster ride. But how we handle these situations can be a clear indicator of our emotional maturity.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept our experiences without judgement – whether they’re good or bad. And this, my friends, is something I’ve personally found to be a game changer.

Emotionally mature individuals understand that resistance to what is happening only creates more stress and unhappiness. Instead, they practice acceptance. They allow themselves to feel their emotions fully, understanding that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

The renowned mindfulness expert, Jon Kabat-Zinn, once said: “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” This perfectly encapsulates the idea of mindful acceptance.

It’s not about denying or suppressing your emotions. It’s about learning to ride them out without letting them overwhelm you. If you can do this, you’re definitely showing a higher level of emotional maturity.

3) You seek wisdom, not just knowledge

There’s a significant difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is about facts, information, and skills acquired through experience or education. Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to apply that knowledge in a sensible way.

Being emotionally mature means seeking wisdom over mere information. It’s about understanding the deeper implications of your actions and decisions, and learning from your experiences.

In my own journey of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve found that wisdom is a critical component of emotional maturity. It’s not just about knowing things – it’s about knowing how to live.

In fact, this is one of the core themes in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”. In it, I explore how ancient Buddhist teachings can help us navigate our modern lives with more wisdom and less ego.

If you’re constantly seeking to grow not just intellectually, but also emotionally and spiritually, then you are definitely showing signs of emotional maturity.

4) You cultivate compassion

Compassion is a cornerstone of emotional maturity. It’s not just about feeling sorry for someone; it’s about truly understanding and empathizing with their pain and wanting to do something about it.

Compassion extends to ourselves as well. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kindly, forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, and accepting our flaws.

The famous mindfulness teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, once said: “Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.” This quote speaks volumes about the importance of compassion in our lives.

To put it into practice, start by being kinder to yourself. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, see them as opportunities to learn and grow. Extend this same kindness and understanding to others.

If you’re consistently practicing compassion towards yourself and others, that’s a big sign of emotional maturity. Remember, a little compassion can go a long way in making the world a better place.

5) You know your core values

Understanding your core values is like having a compass that guides your decisions and actions. It’s about knowing what truly matters to you, and living in alignment with those values.

This is something I’ve spent a lot of time pondering over in my own life. What do I stand for? What truly matters to me? Knowing my core values has given me clarity and direction.

Emotionally mature individuals have a clear sense of their personal values. They don’t let external influences sway them from what they know to be right and important.

The brilliant Life Transition coach, Jeanette Brown, has created a fantastic resource called the “Defining Your Values Exercise”. It’s a practical tool that helps you identify your core values and understand how they influence your behavior.

If you’re clear on your values and live in accordance with them, you’re demonstrating emotional maturity. Because knowing who you are and what you stand for is a fundamental aspect of being emotionally mature.

6) You’re a good listener

We often associate communication with speaking. But listening – truly listening – is equally, if not more, important.

Emotionally mature individuals understand this. They don’t just wait for their turn to talk. They genuinely listen to understand, not just to respond.

Being a good listener means not interrupting, not jumping to conclusions, and not letting your own thoughts and judgments cloud your understanding of what the other person is saying.

Try this out: the next time you’re having a conversation, make a conscious effort to truly listen. Focus on the other person’s words, their emotions, and their body language.

If you’re a good listener, that’s a strong sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you respect others’ perspectives and are open to learning from them.

7) You live in the present moment

One of the key teachings of mindfulness is to live in the present moment. It’s about being fully engaged in what you’re doing right now, not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

I’ve found this to be one of the most transformative aspects of my own mindfulness journey. It’s not always easy, but it brings a sense of peace and clarity that’s hard to describe.

Emotionally mature individuals strive to live in the present. They don’t let past regrets or future anxieties control their life. Instead, they focus on making the most of the here and now.

Try it out: Take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and really tune into your surroundings. What do you see, hear, feel? This simple act can bring you back to the present and help you appreciate the beauty of now.

If you make a habit of living in the present moment, that’s a clear sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you’re able to appreciate life as it unfolds, rather than getting caught up in what was or what could be.

8) You embrace change

Change is a constant part of life. It can be challenging, but it’s also what allows us to grow and evolve.

Emotionally mature individuals understand this. They know that change is inevitable and instead of resisting it, they embrace it.

As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus famously said: “The only constant in life is change.” This timeless wisdom highlights the importance of adaptability and acceptance in the face of change.

Whether it’s a change in circumstances, relationships, or personal growth, emotionally mature people are able to navigate these shifts with grace and resilience. They see change not as a threat, but as an opportunity for growth and learning.

If you’re able to embrace change and adapt to new situations without losing your sense of self, that’s a strong sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you’re not just surviving life’s ups and downs, but thriving through them.

9) You’re okay with not being okay

It might sound counterintuitive, but being emotionally mature doesn’t mean you’re always happy or positive. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: it’s about acknowledging when you’re not okay and allowing yourself to feel those emotions.

This is something I’ve had to learn in my own journey. I used to think that being mindful and practicing Buddhism meant I always had to be calm and composed. But I’ve come to realize that it’s more about acknowledging my feelings, even the uncomfortable ones.

Emotionally mature individuals understand that it’s okay to have bad days. They don’t suppress or ignore their feelings, but rather, they allow themselves to experience them fully. This doesn’t mean dwelling in negativity, but rather acknowledging these feelings and working through them.

If you can allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgement – whether they’re positive or negative – that’s a strong sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you understand the full spectrum of human emotions and are capable of handling them in a healthy way.

10) You take responsibility for your actions

Taking responsibility for your actions is a clear sign of emotional maturity. It means owning up to your mistakes, apologizing when necessary, and taking steps to make things right.

It’s easy to blame others or external circumstances when things go wrong. But emotionally mature individuals understand that they are in control of their actions and reactions.

Try this: the next time you make a mistake, instead of trying to cover it up or blame someone else, own it. Apologize if necessary and figure out what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

If you’re able to take responsibility for your actions, that’s a strong sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you’re not only aware of your actions, but also willing to take responsibility for them.

Conclusion

This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about progress and personal growth.

Practicing mindfulness, understanding your core values, and taking responsibility for your actions are all part of this journey. It’s about seeking wisdom, cultivating compassion, and embracing change.

Again, I’d highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s “Defining Your Values Exercise”. It’s a great tool to help you understand your core values and how they influence your behavior.

Remember, emotional maturity is a lifelong journey, not a destination. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re not ticking all these boxes just yet. Instead, see them as guideposts on your journey towards a more emotionally mature version of yourself.

Keep going. Keep growing. And most importantly, keep being you.