It’s not always easy to face the mirror and see ourselves truly. Especially when it comes to our social skills, we might be blind to our own shortcomings.

Being a difficult person to get along with isn’t a label anyone wants. But, it’s crucial to understand if you’re unknowingly pushing people away.

Psychology offers insights into behaviors that may signal you’re tough to be around. Unveiling these signs can be the first step towards personal growth.

Here are ten signs that you might be a genuinely difficult person to get along with, according to psychology.

This isn’t about guilt-tripping, but about self-awareness and improvement.

Let’s dive in.

1) You’re always right

Embracing different viewpoints can be a challenge. However, if you find yourself always insisting on your perspective, you might be a difficult person to get along with.

Famed Swiss psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

If you’re constantly irritated by others’ opinions, it may be a sign that you’re resisting self-growth and understanding.

Standing firm on your beliefs is one thing, but refusing to consider other perspectives can lead to social friction. It’s important to cultivate a sense of empathy and openness to maintain healthy relationships.

Psychology suggests that being stubbornly steadfast in your views could make you difficult to get along with. 

2) You’re a chronic complainer

This one hits close to home for me. I used to be a perpetual complainer, finding fault in everything, from the weather to the coffee at work. I didn’t realize it then, but my negativity was making me a taxing presence for those around me.

Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth.” When I stumbled upon this quote, it really resonated with me.

I realized my complaints were rooted in my resistance to change and adapt. I had the choice to either continue being negative or strive for personal growth.

Complaining rarely solves anything. If you find yourself frequently complaining, it might be a sign that you’re a difficult person to get along with.

Acknowledging this trait and striving for positivity can transform not only your relationships but also your personal well-being.

3) You struggle to express empathy

We’ve all been there. Someone shares a problem, and instead of offering comfort, we jump in with solutions or worse, dismiss their feelings. This lack of empathy can make us genuinely difficult to interact with.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman explains that empathy is understanding the emotional states of others and is a the fundamental social emotion.

Empathy isn’t just about feeling sorry for someone; it’s about truly understanding their perspective and emotions.

If you find it hard to empathize with others, it’s a signal that you might be challenging to get along with. It’s raw and uncomfortable to admit, but recognizing this can propel you towards becoming a more compassionate and understanding person.

4) You’re quick to criticize

I remember a time when I was quick to judge and criticize. I thought it was my way of helping others improve. Little did I know, my unsolicited advice was more of a hindrance than a help.

Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This quote made me realize that change begins with self-acceptance, not criticism.

If you’re quick to criticize others without offering support or understanding, you might be difficult to get along with. It’s a harsh truth, but acknowledging it can lead to personal growth and better relationships. 

5) You avoid conflict at all costs

This might sound counterintuitive, but avoiding conflict entirely can make you a difficult person to get along with. It’s because conflict isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it’s often an opportunity for growth and understanding.

Famed psychologist Alfred Adler said, “Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.” This quote is a reminder that it’s not the conflict that defines us, but how we respond to it.

If you constantly avoid conflicts, you might be inhibiting open communication and understanding. It’s not about picking fights or being confrontational; it’s about addressing issues honestly and assertively. Avoidance can lead to unresolved issues and strained relationships. Being open to healthy conflict can actually make you easier to get along with.

6) You’re a poor listener

Listening is more than just hearing; it’s about understanding and making the other person feel heard. If you struggle with this, you could be a difficult person to get along with.

As the great Carl Rogers said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

This quote emphasizes the importance and impact of truly listening to someone.

If people around you often feel unheard or misunderstood, it’s a sign that you need to improve your listening skills.

Making a conscious effort to listen more effectively can enhance your relationships and make you a more likable person.

7) You’re often defensive

I remember a time when I would become defensive at the slightest hint of criticism or disagreement. It was my way of protecting myself, but it was hurting my relationships.

Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned psychologist, said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

Being defensive was my way of avoiding vulnerability.

If you find yourself continually getting defensive, it could signal that you’re difficult to get along with. Recognizing this can be tough, but it’s an essential step towards becoming more open, vulnerable, and, consequently, easier to interact with.

8) You’re always the victim

It’s a difficult pill to swallow, but if you’re consistently playing the victim, you might be a challenging person to get along with.

Psychologist Viktor Frankl said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

This quote made me realize that being the perpetual victim was not only hurting me but also my relationships.

If you find yourself constantly blaming others or circumstances for your issues, it’s time to reflect.

Taking responsibility for your actions and circumstances can lead to personal growth and improved relationships. It’s raw, it’s honest, and it’s necessary.

9) You’re excessively independent

Independence is often praised, but excessive independence can make you difficult to get along with. It can lead to isolation and a resistance to accept help or collaborate with others.

American author Leo Buscaglia once said, “We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.”

If you find yourself constantly insisting on doing everything alone and rejecting any form of assistance, it might be time to reflect on this behavior. Remember that it’s okay to rely on others sometimes. After all, we’re social beings who thrive on connection and collaboration.

10) You struggle to celebrate others’ successes

There was a time when I struggled to truly celebrate others’ successes. It took some self-reflection to realize that my difficulty in doing so stemmed from my own insecurities rather than their achievements.

What helped me shift this mindset was the idea that embracing others’ victories is an essential part of personal growth.

Learning to celebrate someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own—it reinforces a mindset of abundance and possibility.

If you find it hard to be happy for others, it may reflect unresolved feelings within yourself.

Recognizing this and working towards genuinely appreciating the accomplishments of others can not only foster deeper connections but also make you a more positive and likable person.