Self-awareness can be a tricky thing. Often, we’re the last ones to realize that we might be a tough person to be around.

According to psychology, there are certain signs that can indicate you’re difficult to get along with, even if you’re blissfully unaware.

You could be unintentionally pushing people away without even realizing it. And trust me, knowing these signs can make all the difference.

Let’s dive right in. Here are 10 signs you might be a difficult person to get along with, even if you don’t see it.

1) You’re frequently the center of drama

Let’s face it, life can be full of ups and downs.

However, if you find that drama seems to follow you wherever you go, it might be time to take a look in the mirror.

Psychology suggests that people who are regularly embroiled in conflict, whether it’s at work, with friends, or within their family, may be difficult to get along with.

It’s not always intentional. We all have our off days. But if “off days” are more like your everyday, then this could be a sign that you’re pushing people away.

No one enjoys being around drama all the time. If this is a constant theme in your life, it might be time for some self-reflection.

2) You struggle with empathy

I remember when I used to have a hard time understanding why my friend was always upset about her job. To me, it seemed like she was blowing things out of proportion.

But then, I realized that I was struggling with empathy. I wasn’t really trying to understand things from her perspective or to feel what she might be feeling.

Psychology tells us that the inability to empathize is a common trait of people who are difficult to get along with. It’s not about agreeing with everyone, but rather, understanding where they’re coming from.

If you often find it hard to understand other people’s feelings or perspectives, you might just be a bit more difficult to get along with than you realize.

3) Your conversations are usually one-sided

Did you know that in a balanced conversation, each participant speaks around 50% of the time?

If you find yourself dominating most of the conversations you engage in, it could be a sign that you’re difficult to get along with.

Monopolizing discussions and not giving others a chance to speak or express their views is not only disrespectful, but it can also be quite off-putting.

Conversations should be a two-way street. If they’re more like a monologue for you, it might be time for a change.

4) You’re often dismissive of other’s ideas

We all have our own beliefs and ideas, and it’s natural to defend them. However, if you find yourself constantly dismissing others’ thoughts without giving them due consideration, it can be a sign of difficulty in getting along.

Being dismissive can come off as arrogant and can push people away. It communicates a lack of respect for their opinion and can make them feel unheard or undervalued.

Everyone likes to feel valued and heard. If you’re routinely brushing off what others have to say, it might be time to start listening a little more.

5) You’re resistant to change

Change can be unsettling for many of us. But if you’re the type of person who fights tooth and nail against any kind of change, it could be a sign that you’re difficult to get along with.

People who are inflexible and set in their ways can be tough to work with or be around. It can make others feel like they always have to walk on eggshells around you.

If you’re constantly digging your heels in when faced with new ideas or approaches, it might be time to explore why that is and how you can become more adaptable.

6) You struggle to admit when you’re wrong

We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. But admitting when we’re wrong can be one of the most challenging things to do.

If you struggle with this – if you find it hard to say “I was wrong”, or “I made a mistake” – it can create a barrier between you and others. It can make it difficult for others to trust you or feel close to you.

Nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay. When we admit our mistakes, we show our vulnerability, and in turn, our humanity. And that’s something people can relate to, respect, and appreciate.

7) You rarely follow through on commitments

In my early 20s, I was notorious for making plans and not following through. I’d commit to social events, then bail at the last minute. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go, I just got caught up with other things.

This pattern of behavior can make you a difficult person to get along with. When you regularly fail to follow through on your commitments, it can make others feel less important or valued.

It’s about respect. When we say we’ll do something, we need to do it – or at least communicate why we can’t. This builds trust and shows others that they can count on us.

8) You’re overly positive

Surprisingly, being overly positive can sometimes be a sign that you’re difficult to get along with.

While it’s great to have a positive outlook on life, there’s a fine line between positivity and denial. If you’re always insisting on the bright side, even in dire situations, it can feel dismissive and invalidating to those who are genuinely struggling.

Remember, it’s important to acknowledge and validate both the good and the bad. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and that’s okay. Being able to sit with the discomfort of negative emotions is crucial for authentic relationships.

9) You’re quick to blame others

If your first reaction when things go wrong is to point fingers, it might be a sign that you’re a hard person to get along with.

Blaming others without taking a moment to reflect on your own actions not only pushes people away but also hinders your growth.

Taking responsibility for our actions, especially when things go wrong, is a sign of maturity and is highly valued in any relationship. If you’re always playing the blame game, it might be time for some introspection.

10) You struggle with listening

The most crucial point to remember is that being a good listener is key to being easy to get along with.

If you often find yourself waiting for your turn to speak instead of genuinely listening when someone else is talking, it’s a sign you might be tough to get along with.

Listening isn’t just about hearing the words someone says. It’s about understanding, empathy, and showing the other person that their thoughts and feelings matter to you.

If listening is a struggle for you, this is the one area where improvement can make the biggest difference in your relationships.

Final thoughts: It’s about growth

The concept of being a “difficult” person to get along with is not a life sentence. It’s simply an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.

Recognizing these signs in yourself doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Instead, it’s a chance to look inward and make changes that could improve your relationships and overall quality of life.

After all, psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

So, take these signs not as criticisms, but as stepping stones towards becoming a better version of yourself. Embrace this journey of self-discovery, because the road to personal growth is just as important as the destination.