Spotting manipulation isn’t always easy, especially when it’s coming from someone you trust – like your partner.

Manipulation is all about control, hiding true intentions, and steering the decisions of others for personal gain. And while we all use persuasion sometimes, there’s a fine line between influencing and manipulating.

Being in a relationship with a master manipulator can be draining and damaging. But how do you know if your partner is one?

Here are ten signs your partner may be playing mind games and pulling the strings behind the scenes.

1) They twist your words

Communication is key in any relationship, but a master manipulator knows just how to twist it to their advantage.

They have a way of taking what you say and twisting it around to suit their narrative. And somehow, they always seem to make you the villain.

It can be subtle or overt, leaving you feeling confused and misunderstood. You might even start questioning your own words and intentions.

Remember, healthy communication involves listening and understanding, not manipulation. If you’re constantly feeling misunderstood or attacked, it could be a sign of manipulation.

Don’t let them use your words against you. Stand firm in your truth.

2) They make you question your reality

Ah, the infamous gaslighting. I remember when I first experienced this with an ex-partner.

We would get into silly arguments, as couples do. But he had a knack for turning everything around, making me believe that things never happened or that I was remembering it all wrong.

For example, he’d conveniently forget promises he’d made or deny hurtful things he’d said. And then he’d insist it was my memory at fault, not him. It was maddening and left me second-guessing myself all the time.

This is a classic manipulation tactic known as gaslighting. It’s designed to make you doubt your own reality and trust their version of events instead. If you find yourself constantly questioning your memory or sanity, it’s a big red flag.

3) They play the victim

Manipulators are experts at playing the victim. They have an uncanny ability to twist situations in a way that they always seem to be the injured party, no matter what.

This is a psychological tactic used to gain sympathy and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Believe it or not, research suggests that people who frequently play the victim may have a personality disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This disorder is characterised by a lack of empathy, a need for admiration, and an inflated sense of importance.

If your partner is always the victim and never the culprit, it might be time to take a closer look at their actions.

4) They use guilt to control you

Guilt is a powerful emotion, and master manipulators know exactly how to use it to their advantage.

They have a way of making you feel guilty for things you shouldn’t. Things like spending time with friends, focusing on your career, or even just saying no to them.

It’s as if your happiness or independence is a personal slight against them. They make you feel selfish for wanting anything outside of what they dictate.

This is not love, it’s control. Everyone deserves to have their own life, interests, and freedom in a relationship. Don’t let guilt manipulate your decisions.

5) They withhold affection as a punishment

Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells because you’re scared your partner will pull away or shut down if you upset them? This could be a sign of manipulation.

Manipulators often use affection as a tool of control. They offer it freely when you’re doing what they want but withdraw it as soon as you step out of line.

Suddenly, their warm, loving demeanor turns cold and distant until you apologize or give in to their demands.

Love and affection should never be used as a bargaining chip. It should be given freely and unconditionally in a healthy relationship.

6) They isolate you from your loved ones

It’s a heartbreaking reality for those ensnared by a manipulator – the gradual isolation from friends and family.

Your partner might start by subtly criticizing your friends or complaining about the time you spend with family. They might even make you feel guilty for wanting to maintain these connections.

Before you know it, you’ve distanced yourself from your support network and your world has shrunk to revolve solely around your partner. This isolation makes it even harder to recognize or escape the manipulation.

No one has the right to sever your connections with the people who love and support you. A true partner would encourage these relationships, not undermine them.

7) They constantly belittle you

Once upon a time, I was with someone who had a knack for making me feel small. My achievements were never quite good enough, my ideas always silly or naive. Even my appearance was fair game for his put-downs.

This constant belittling wore me down. It chipped away at my confidence, making me believe I was less capable, less worthy than I truly was.

If your partner frequently criticizes or belittles you, it’s not because you’re inadequate. It’s a tactic they use to keep you feeling insecure and dependent on them. You deserve respect and kindness in a relationship, not constant criticism.

8) They’re overly charming

It sounds odd, right? How can being charming be a sign of manipulation?

Well, manipulators often use charm as a smokescreen. They’re charismatic and engaging, drawing you in with their allure. But this charm usually comes with an ulterior motive.

They use it to win your trust, to make you believe they’re good-hearted and sincere. And once they’ve got you hooked, that’s when the manipulation begins.

9) They always need to win

Does your partner hate losing? And I don’t mean just in games or sports. I mean in arguments, decisions, even in trivial everyday things.

Manipulators have a deep-seated need to be right all the time. They’ll argue tirelessly, twist facts, or even outright lie just to avoid being wrong.

This constant need to win isn’t about truth or fairness. It’s about control. It keeps you on the defensive, always trying to prove your worth or validity.

Never let anyone make you feel lesser just because you don’t agree with them. Differences of opinion are normal and healthy in a relationship.

10) They make you feel trapped

The most telling sign of a manipulative partner is the feeling of being trapped. Like there’s no way out. You may feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of emotional highs and lows, constantly trying to navigate their mood swings or meet their ever-changing expectations.

This feeling of entrapment isn’t normal or healthy. Love should feel freeing, not confining. Always remember, you have the power and the right to remove yourself from any relationship that causes you pain or distress. You deserve respect, honesty, and genuine love. Don’t settle for anything less.