Respect is a two-way street, and sometimes it’s not as straightforward as you might hope.

People can say all the right things, but their actions might tell a different story.

Recognizing when someone isn’t giving you the respect you deserve can be tricky, especially when they’re not outright saying it.

But don’t worry, I’ve got your back. Here are ten subtle signs that people may not respect you as much as they should, even if they’re not saying it outright.

We’ll dive into these telltale signs that can help you spot the lack of respect hiding behind polite words and seemingly inoffensive actions. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Constant interruptions

We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of a sentence, and suddenly someone cuts you off. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Interruptions are more than just annoying. They’re a clear sign that the other person doesn’t value what you have to say. They think their thoughts and words are more important than yours.

Now, occasional interruptions can happen to anyone. We all get excited or have a momentary lapse in manners.

But when it’s a constant pattern? That’s when you know there’s a lack of respect.

Interrupting someone consistently sends a strong message: “I don’t care what you’re saying.”

If you find yourself constantly being talked over, it may be time to reassess your relationship with that person. Because respect is about listening, not just talking.

2) They’re always late

I remember a time when I had a friend who was perpetually late. It didn’t matter if we were meeting for lunch, going to the movies, or attending an important event, she was always at least 20 minutes behind schedule.

I thought it was just her quirky trait until I noticed that she was always on time for her work appointments or when meeting with other friends. It dawned on me that her chronic tardiness wasn’t a personality trait, it was a sign of disrespect.

Being consistently late demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person’s time and energy. It says, “My time is more valuable than yours.”

If someone is always making you wait and doesn’t seem to make an effort to be punctual, it might be a sign they don’t respect you as much as they should.

3) They don’t make eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most basic forms of human connection. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I see you. I’m paying attention to you.”

When someone avoids making eye contact with you while you’re speaking, it can feel uncomfortable and even disrespectful. It’s as if they’re not fully present with you, not really listening to what you’re saying.

Interestingly, studies have shown that maintaining eye contact makes people more likely to remember what was said and who said it. So when someone consistently avoids your gaze, it’s a subtle sign they might not value your words or thoughts.

If someone can’t look you in the eye when you’re speaking, it may be a sign they don’t respect you as much as they should.

4) They don’t keep their promises

Promises are not just words. They’re commitments that we make to each other. And when someone consistently breaks these commitments, it can be a clear sign of disrespect.

Whether it’s forgetting to do something they said they would, constantly changing plans at the last minute, or failing to follow through on major promises, these actions all send the same message: they don’t value your trust.

Keeping promises is all about respect. It shows that you value the other person’s time, feelings, and expectations.

When someone consistently lets you down, it’s a clear sign that they may not respect you as much as they should.

5) They’re dismissive of your feelings or ideas

Remember the last time you shared something you were passionate about or an idea you thought was great, only to be met with a dismissive comment or a wave of the hand? It’s not a pleasant feeling, is it?

When someone is dismissive of your feelings or ideas, it shows a lack of respect. It’s as if they’re saying your thoughts and emotions are not worthy of their time or consideration.

Everyone has the right to their own opinions and emotions. Dismissing them outright is not only disrespectful but also hurtful.

If someone regularly disregards your ideas or invalidates your feelings, it’s a strong sign that they may not respect you as they should. It might be time to reevaluate whether you want to continue investing time and energy into that relationship.

6) They don’t value your time

Time is one of our most precious resources. Once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. That’s why when someone doesn’t value your time, it can feel especially disrespectful.

Perhaps they constantly cancel plans at the last minute, or they expect you to drop everything to accommodate their schedule. Maybe they never seem to have time for you, but always expect you to make time for them.

These actions send a clear message: they think their time is more important than yours.

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and consideration. If someone doesn’t value your time, it might be a sign that they don’t respect you as much as they should.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and demand the respect you deserve. After all, your time is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

7) They often make fun of you

There was a time in my life when I had a colleague who seemed to find joy in making fun of me. It started off as light-hearted banter, but over time, it became more frequent and unnecessarily hurtful.

Sure, friendly ribbing can be a part of any relationship. But when it’s excessive or mean-spirited, it crosses the line into disrespect.

Making fun of someone persistently, especially in front of others, can belittle and demean them. It’s a way of undermining their confidence and self-worth.

If you find yourself the constant butt of someone’s jokes, it may be a sign that they don’t respect you as much as they should. It’s important to speak up and let them know that their behavior is not okay.

8) They’re overly polite

This might seem surprising, but sometimes, too much politeness can be a sign of disrespect.

When someone is excessively formal or polite with you, especially in a casual or intimate setting, it can feel like they’re keeping you at arm’s length. It’s as if they’re preventing you from getting too close or knowing them on a deeper level.

This form of behavior often masks an underlying lack of genuine respect or admiration for the person on the receiving end. It’s like saying, “I’ll treat you nicely, but I don’t necessarily value your thoughts and feelings.”

While it’s great to be courteous and polite, genuine respect involves being real and authentic with each other. If you notice an excess of politeness that feels insincere, it might be a sign of underlying disrespect.

9) They don’t ask for your opinion

Whether it’s a decision that affects both of you or a general discussion on various topics, if someone consistently neglects to ask for your opinion, it might be a sign they don’t respect you.

When people respect each other, they value each other’s thoughts and perspectives. They want to know what the other person thinks and feels.

But when someone never asks for your opinion, it can feel like they’re saying, “I don’t care what you think.” It’s as if they don’t value your insights or believe your input is worthwhile.

10) They don’t respect your boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in every relationship. They help us maintain our mental and emotional wellbeing. When someone consistently disregards your boundaries, it’s a blatant sign of disrespect.

If they push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, dismiss your need for personal space, or belittle your feelings when you express discomfort, they are disrespecting your boundaries.

Respect is about acknowledging and honoring each other’s individual needs and limits. If someone can’t do that, it shows a lack of respect for you as a person. It’s essential to stand firm in protecting your boundaries and expecting others to do the same.

Final thoughts: Respect is a reflection

The journey of understanding respect is as much about self-discovery as it is about observing others. How people treat us often mirrors what they see in us.

In the poignant words of Laurence Sterne, an 18th-century novelist, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” This quote encapsulates the essence of our interaction with others.

If you’re noticing signs of disrespect in your relationships, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect. Are you projecting the respect and self-worth that you deserve?

The first step in receiving respect from others is to respect yourself. Stand up for your boundaries, value your time, and honor your feelings and thoughts.

Respect is not just about how others treat us. It’s about how we treat ourselves. As we navigate life’s complex relationships, let’s strive to foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding.

Because at the end of the day, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.