Ever had a chat that left you feeling strange, but you couldn’t figure out why?

Maybe it’s because the person you were talking to was messing with your feelings. Some people are really skilled at using words to control situations. They can leave you feeling bad and confused without you even realizing what’s happening.

Believe it or not, some phrases that sound harmless might actually be a sign that someone is trying to mess with your emotions.

So, are you ready? Let’s dive into the 10 phrases that might seem innocent but could be signs of emotional manipulation.

1. “You’re just too sensitive”

This phrase might sound like someone is just teasing you or making a harmless observation. But don’t be fooled. It’s often a way for emotionally manipulative people to make you question your own feelings.

If they can convince you that you’re too sensitive, then they can get away with treating you in ways that aren’t okay.

2. “I was just joking”

Ever heard this one after someone said something hurtful?

This phrase is a classic way for manipulators to make you feel bad, then dodge responsibility. They might make a mean comment, then when you react, they use this phrase as a get-out-of-jail-free card.

The truth is, jokes shouldn’t make you feel bad or belittled. If they do, it’s okay to speak up about it.

3. “If you really loved me, you would…”

This one hits close to home for me. I remember when my partner at the time used this phrase to guilt me into doing things I wasn’t comfortable with. “If you really loved me, you would stay out later,” or “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t hang out with them.” It took me a while to realize that this was emotional manipulation.

Love shouldn’t be a bargaining chip. You shouldn’t have to prove your love by doing things that make you uncomfortable or unhappy. It’s not love, it’s control.

4. “Everyone agrees with me”

This phrase is a classic manipulation tactic called ‘bandwagoning’. The person using it is trying to make you feel isolated or outnumbered, so you’re more likely to give in to their point of view.

According to psychologist Robert Cialdini, people are more likely to conform when they believe others are doing the same. But remember, just because ‘everyone’ supposedly agrees, doesn’t mean they’re right, and it definitely doesn’t mean you have to go along with it.

5. “I never said that”

This phrase can be a real heartbreaker. It’s a tactic called gaslighting, where someone denies your reality to make you doubt your own memory or sanity.

You might hear this after a person said something hurtful or made a promise they didn’t keep. It can feel like a punch in the gut when someone you trust makes you question your own recollection.

The important thing to remember here is to trust yourself. You know what you heard or experienced. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

6. “You owe me”

I’ve heard this one more times than I care to remember.

An old friend of mine had a habit of keeping track of every favor, every kind act, and then using it as leverage later. “Remember when I helped you move? Now you owe me.” It was as if every kindness came with a price tag.

But that’s not how genuine friendship or love works. Acts of kindness should be given freely, not used as a tool for manipulation. If someone keeps score in your relationship, it might be time to reconsider its value.

7. “You’re overreacting”

Here’s the raw truth: this phrase is a slap in the face.

It’s what people say when they don’t want to deal with your feelings or the consequences of their actions. It’s a way to belittle you, to make you question your own reactions.

But let me tell you something: No one has the right to tell you that you’re overreacting. If something hurts you, it hurts. Period. Don’t let anyone make you feel small for having emotions.

8. “I’m sorry you feel that way”

This might sound like an apology, but it isn’t. It’s a clever way to evade responsibility. Instead of acknowledging their actions, the person is just expressing regret for your feelings.

The interesting fact here is that according to a study, genuine apologies have four parts: acknowledgment of responsibility, offer of repair, expression of regret, and explanation of what went wrong.

“I’m sorry you feel that way” doesn’t meet any of these criteria! So next time you hear this, know that it’s not a real apology.

9. “It’s for your own good”

When I was younger, someone close to me would often use this phrase to justify their controlling behavior. “I’m just checking your phone for your own good,” or “I’m telling you what to wear for your own good.”

It took me a while to understand that this wasn’t care or concern, but a way to control me under the guise of protection. Remember, no one should make decisions for you “for your own good.” You’re the best judge of what’s good for you.

10. “It’s not a big deal”

This one drives me up the wall. Because who is someone else to tell you what should or shouldn’t be a big deal for you?

If it matters to you, then it’s a big deal, no matter what anyone else says. People who use this phrase are trying to downplay your feelings or the impact of their actions.

Don’t let them. Your feelings are important, and what’s a big deal for you should be respected.