Ever met those folks who always seem to pass the blame, denying any fault?

Yep, you guessed it right – we’re talking about narcissists.

Now, let’s be clear. Not everyone who sidesteps responsibility is a narcissist. But, there’s a type of narcissism that comes with a heavy dose of blaming others.

This can pop up in your personal relationships or even at work, and boy, can it be a headache.

In this article, I’ll unveil 10 typical phrases narcissists use to shift blame.

These aren’t just your run-of-the-mill excuses. These are their crafty ways of dodging responsibility while making you feel like you’ve dropped the ball. Let’s get started. 

1. “I’m not to blame; you are.”

The classic switcheroo – the cornerstone of a narcissist’s blame game.

This phrase is essentially a swift and straightforward way for them to deny any fault and shift the blame onto you. It’s as simple as reversing the roles, making you the perpetrator while they play the innocent victim.

This tactic is often used to cause confusion and make you question your own actions, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Stay alert to this phrase; it’s a red flag that you’re dealing with a blame-shifting narcissist.

2. “You’re too sensitive.”

Another classic, folks. Narcissists often use this phrase when they’ve done something to upset you.

Instead of acknowledging their actions and apologizing, they’ll turn it around and accuse you of being overly emotional or sensitive.

Remember, it’s okay to feel upset when someone treats you poorly. Their attempt to invalidate your feelings is just another way for them to escape responsibility for their actions. Don’t fall for it!

3. “I never said that.”

Oh boy, this one reminds me of a personal experience I had with a narcissistic friend.

We’d had a disagreement about something fairly trivial, and she’d said some pretty hurtful things. When I confronted her about it later, she flat-out denied ever saying them. It was her way of avoiding responsibility for her words and making me feel like I was making things up. It’s a classic gaslighting technique that narcissists use to make you doubt your own memory and perception.

If you’re ever in a similar situation, trust your gut – you’re not going crazy!

4. “Everyone agrees with me.”

This is a particularly tricky tactic that narcissists often employ – rallying the troops. They use this phrase to isolate you and make you feel like you’re in the minority, even if that’s not the case.

Here’s an interesting fact: this method is known as “bandwagoning” in psychology, where a person tries to convince others that their viewpoint is correct because it’s the popular opinion.

The truth is, they may not have consulted anyone else at all. It’s just an intimidation tactic designed to make you doubt your stance.

5. “If only you’d listen.”

This phrase is a narcissist’s way of implying that you’re the problem, not them. It’s a subtle but hurtful blame-shift. They’re essentially saying that if only you listened better or were more understanding, they wouldn’t have acted the way they did.

It’s important to remember that everyone has the right to express their feelings and opinions. You’re not responsible for someone else’s negative behavior, regardless of how well you listen or understand them.

6. “You’re just overreacting.”

Ah, this takes me back. I had an experience with a colleague who would always deflect blame by accusing me of overreacting. If I brought up an issue about our project, he’d immediately dismiss my concerns as overreactions, instead of addressing the problem.

It was his go-to tactic to avoid taking responsibility for any mistakes or issues.

If this sounds familiar, remember that it’s okay to express concerns or dissatisfaction. You’re not overreacting – they’re under-responding. 

7. “It’s just a joke.”

This one stings. A lot.

Narcissists often hide hurtful comments or criticisms behind the veil of humor. After making a biting remark, they might shrug it off as “just a joke.” It’s a way for them to say hurtful things and get away with it while making you seem uptight if you get upset.

Here’s the raw truth: if it hurts, it’s not a joke. You’re not lacking a sense of humor; they’re lacking empathy and respect.

8. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

Narcissists use this phrase to belittle your feelings and make you question your reaction. By minimizing the issue, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

This tactic is called “minimization” in psychological terms. It’s a type of deception that reduces the importance of what you’re saying or feeling.

Remember, your feelings are valid, and if something is a big deal to you, then it matters. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!

9. “You always remember things wrong.”

This phrase hits close to home for me.

I once had a friend who would always twist the facts to suit her narrative. Whenever we argued about past events, she would accuse me of misremembering things. It was her way of rewriting history to make herself look better and shift the blame onto me.

This is a form of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic used to make people question their own memory and perception.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, trust your memory and stand your ground. You’re not forgetful or wrong – they’re just trying to manipulate you!

10. “I was just trying to help.”

This one is a real kicker. Narcissists often use this phrase as a cover when they’ve overstepped boundaries or offered unsolicited advice.

By claiming they were “just trying to help,” they can avoid taking responsibility for their intrusive or inappropriate behavior.

Let’s be brutally honest here: if their “help” feels more like criticism, control, or disrespect, it’s not help. It’s an infringement on your autonomy and personal space.

Stand firm, and don’t let them use the guise of assistance to push you around or belittle you.