Ever met someone who always seems to convince you to see things their way? They always have just the right words, don’t they?

Well, here’s a little secret. These people might not be as innocent as they seem.

They could be what we call ‘manipulators’, using special words and tricks to make you trust them and then control you.

What is manipulation exactly, you ask? In simple terms, it’s when someone uses sneaky or dishonest ways to change how you think or act.

It’s all about getting control over your choices.

In this article, we’ll list 10 common phrases that manipulators use to gain your trust and control you.

By the end of this, you’ll know exactly what to look out for and how to stop yourself from being tricked.

Ready? Let’s go!

1. “You’re too sensitive”

This phrase is a classic one used by manipulators. Why? Because it’s a perfect way to make you question your own feelings and reactions.

If someone tells you that you’re too sensitive, they’re trying to convince you that your feelings are wrong or exaggerated. This makes it easier for them to control how you react to their actions.

Don’t fall for it. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to express them.

2. “I’m only trying to help you”

This phrase is a sly one. It sounds like the person cares about you, right? But that’s exactly what the manipulator wants you to believe.

When someone says they’re only trying to help, they could actually be trying to control your decisions or actions. They make it seem like they have your best interests at heart, but in reality, they might just want things to go their way.

Remember, real help shouldn’t make you feel controlled or manipulated. It should make you feel supported and empowered.

3. “Don’t you trust me?”

Ah, this one. I’ve heard it myself, and let me tell you, it’s a tricky one.

Just last month, an old friend called me up out of the blue. We hadn’t spoken in a while so I was surprised when he asked me to invest in his new business venture. I wasn’t sure about it, so I asked for more details. Instead of providing them, he shot back with “Don’t you trust me?”

See how manipulative that is? By questioning my trust, he tried to make me feel guilty for asking reasonable questions.

If someone uses this line on you, watch out. They might be trying to sidestep your questions or doubts instead of addressing them directly. Trust is important, but it should never be used as a tool for manipulation.

4. “I know you better than you know yourself”

Did you know that this phrase is a common technique used by manipulators? It’s called ‘gaslighting’.

When someone tells you they know you better than you know yourself, they’re trying to make you doubt your own perceptions and understandings. They want to depict themselves as the only reliable source of truth about you.

Be wary when someone claims to know you better than you do. You’re the best judge of your feelings and actions, no one else.

5. “You owe me”

This one goes right to the heart, doesn’t it?

When someone says “you owe me”, they’re trying to use a past favor or incident to manipulate your present actions or decisions. It’s like they’re holding a debt over your head, expecting you to repay it by doing what they want.

But here’s the thing: true acts of kindness don’t come with strings attached. If you’ve ever done something nice for someone, you know that the joy is in giving, not in expecting something in return.

If someone tries to pull the “you owe me” card on you, remember your worth. You don’t owe anyone anything that compromises your well-being or personal freedom.

6. “I did this for you”

This one hits close to home. I remember a time when a former colleague of mine took on one of my projects while I was out sick. When I returned, they made sure I knew about their ‘sacrifice’.

They would often say “I did this for you,” as a way to make me feel indebted to them. The truth was, they wanted to control how I worked on projects and tried to use their ‘favor’ to gain that control.

The lesson here? Beware of those who do unsolicited favors and then use them as leverage. True kindness doesn’t come with ulterior motives.

7. “Everyone else agrees with me”

Let’s strip this one bare, folks. When someone pulls out the “everyone else agrees with me” card, they’re playing dirty.

They’re trying to isolate you, to make you feel like you’re the odd one out, like you’re wrong for not agreeing with them. It’s a cheap shot, a low blow. They’re using peer pressure to manipulate your thoughts and decisions.

Don’t let them make you feel like the ‘black sheep’. Your opinions are valid, even if they don’t align with ‘everyone else’. Stand your ground. Speak your truth.

8. “If you really loved me, you would…”

This phrase is a classic manipulation tactic often used in personal relationships. It’s a type of emotional blackmail.

The manipulator tries to guilt you into doing something by questioning your love or loyalty. It’s a powerful tool because it appeals to your deepest emotions and values.

Now, here’s the interesting fact: according to Dr. Susan Forward, a renowned therapist and author, there are four common types of emotional blackmail – punishment, self-punishment, guilt, and fear. The phrase “If you really loved me, you would…” falls under the guilt category.

Remember this, love shouldn’t be conditional or coercive. You should never feel pressured to prove your love by doing something that makes you uncomfortable or goes against your values.

9. “You’re just misunderstanding me”

This one, I’ve experienced it firsthand.

I was once in a relationship where every time I voiced my concerns or discomforts, I’d hear “You’re just misunderstanding me”. It was as if my feelings and perceptions were constantly being dismissed.

The person was trying to control how I viewed their actions, making it seem like the problem wasn’t with what they did, but with how I understood it.

And here’s the truth: your feelings are valid, and if something doesn’t feel right to you, it’s okay to question it. No one should make you feel like you’re ‘misunderstanding’ your own emotions or experiences.

10. “I never said that”

This is the last one, folks, and it’s a doozy.

“I never said that.” Sounds familiar? It’s a manipulator’s favorite line. They use it to deny their words or actions, to rewrite history, and make you question your own memory.

They’re playing with your sanity here, making you think you’re losing your grip on reality. This is another form of gaslighting.

But let me tell you this: trust your memory. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t let anyone play mind games with you.

Manipulators can be slick, but now that you’re armed with this knowledge, you’re far from defenseless. Keep these phrases in mind and remember: You are in control of your own life. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.