10 phrases emotionally guarded people use to keep others at arm’s length

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | June 19, 2024, 8:06 am

Ever met someone who seems to push others away without being rude?

They’re not mean or antisocial, they’re just careful about who gets close to them. They’re what we call ’emotionally guarded’.

To understand an emotionally guarded person, you need to listen to their words.

They often use certain phrases that help them maintain distance from others.

In this article, we’re going to explore these phrases.

So, get ready for a trip through the language of the emotionally guarded.

1. “I’m fine”

This phrase might be the most common one that emotionally guarded people use.

On the surface, it might seem like a casual response to a “How are you?” But, when an emotionally guarded person says “I’m fine,” it often means they’re not ready to share their feelings or they’re trying to avoid a deeper conversation.

It’s their go-to phrase to keep things on a surface level and maintain their emotional distance.

2. “I don’t need help”

Emotionally guarded people value their independence a lot. They often feel that asking for help or support may make them vulnerable or it can be a sign of weakness.

So, when they say, “I don’t need help,” it’s another way of them stating that they’d prefer to handle things on their own. This phrase allows them to keep their problems to themselves and maintain a safe distance from others.

3. “I prefer to be alone”

One thing I’ve noticed about emotionally guarded people, including myself at times, is their tendency to choose solitude over socializing.

There’s a simple phrase we often use: “I prefer to be alone.” It’s not that we don’t enjoy company, but we often find comfort and peace in our own space.

This phrase helps us maintain our emotional boundaries and gives us the time and space to process our feelings privately.

4. “I don’t like to talk about myself”

Did you know that people who are emotionally guarded often find it difficult to talk about themselves? This is because sharing personal information can feel like giving away a piece of their privacy.

So when they say, “I don’t like to talk about myself,” it’s their way of protecting their inner world. This phrase helps them create a boundary between them and others, keeping their personal life and emotions out of the conversation.

5. “It’s not a big deal”

When emotionally guarded people face problems or emotional turmoil, they often downplay it with phrases like, “It’s not a big deal.”

This isn’t because they’re void of feelings or don’t acknowledge their pain. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. They feel deeply, but they choose to bear their burdens alone, fearing that sharing might burden others or expose their vulnerabilities.

This phrase is their shield, their way of saying, “I’ve got this,” even when their heart might be heavy.

6. “I don’t want to bother you”

One phrase I often find myself saying is, “I don’t want to bother you.”

As an emotionally guarded person, I sometimes feel that sharing my problems or concerns with others might be an imposition. So, I tend to keep things to myself. This phrase is my way of keeping my worries within my own walls and not letting them spill over into my relationships. It’s about maintaining a boundary, but also trying not to burden others with my issues.

7. “I’m not good at expressing my feelings”

The raw truth about emotionally guarded people is that we often struggle to express our feelings. It’s not that we don’t feel, oh we do, but putting those feelings into words? That’s a whole different game.

So when you hear us say, “I’m not good at expressing my feelings,” it’s our honest admission of this struggle.

This phrase is our safety net, a way to avoid any emotional spill-over that might happen if we try to dig deeper into our emotions in front of others.

8. “I like things the way they are”

Emotionally guarded people often resist change. They prefer stability and predictability because it gives them a sense of control over their lives.

When they say, “I like things the way they are,” it’s a signal that they’re comfortable with the status quo and may resist changes that threaten their emotional security.

This phrase allows them to maintain their comfort zone and keep potential emotional upheaval at bay.

9. “I just need some space”

As someone who is emotionally guarded, I often find myself needing time to process my thoughts and emotions alone. So, I frequently say, “I just need some space.”

This isn’t a way of pushing people away, but rather a request for understanding and respect for my personal boundaries. This phrase allows me to take a step back, breathe and deal with things in my own time and way.

10. “Let’s not go there”

The raw, unfiltered truth is that emotionally guarded people have topics they’d rather not discuss. These are often tied to past experiences or pains that are too sensitive to touch upon.

When we say, “Let’s not go there,” it’s our way of setting a boundary, a polite request to steer clear from topics that could stir up emotions we’re not ready to confront or share.

This phrase is our defense mechanism, protecting us from emotional conversations that we’re not prepared to dive into.