Starting a conversation with someone can be as anxiety-inducing as a high-wire act. It’s a delicate balance between being interesting and not coming across as awkward.

And let’s be real, we’ve all experienced those cringe-worthy moments when our attempts to start a conversation have gone horribly wrong.

But according to psychology, there are some foolproof ways to initiate a conversation with literally anyone, that can save you from those awkward silences and help you make a lasting impression.

Here are ten non-awkward strategies for starting a conversation, backed by psychology, that I bet will make your social interactions smoother and more enjoyable.

1) The power of observation

Starting a conversation can feel like a Herculean task, especially when you’re facing a stranger. But guess what? You have a secret weapon – your power of observation.

Psychology tells us that people love to talk about themselves. But not just that, they also appreciate when others take an interest in their lives, their choices, and even their appearance.

So next time you’re stuck, take a moment to observe. Notice anything unique about them – their clothing, their accessories, or maybe the book they are reading. Then use that as a conversation starter.

For instance, if they are wearing a unique piece of jewelry, compliment it and ask where they got it from. If they are reading a book you’re familiar with, share your thoughts on the author or the storyline.

This approach not only breaks the ice but also shows the other person that you’re observant and interested in their lives.

2) Sharing personal anecdotes

I’ve found that one of the most effective ways to start a conversation is by sharing a personal anecdote.

Let me share an instance with you. I was at a networking event last year, and I noticed a woman standing alone, looking a bit lost. I walked up to her and said, “You know, these networking events can be so overwhelming. I remember my first one, I felt like a fish out of water.”

Sharing this anecdote immediately broke the ice. She laughed and agreed, and we spent the next few minutes bonding over our shared experiences at such events.

Psychology backs this up too. Sharing personal stories creates a sense of familiarity and authenticity. It shows that you’re willing to open up, which encourages the other person to do the same. 

3) Open-ended questions

Did you know that the type of questions you ask can drastically affect the flow of your conversation?

In psychology, there’s a concept called open-ended questions. Unlike close-ended questions, which can be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, open-ended questions invite more detailed responses.

For example, instead of asking “Do you like reading?”, ask “What kind of books do you enjoy reading?”. Such a question not only sparks a conversation but also gives you an insight into the other person’s interests.

By asking open-ended questions, you’re not only keeping the conversation flowing, but also showing genuine interest in what the other person has to say.

4) Finding common ground

Finding common ground can be a great conversation starter. It’s a psychological concept that implies shared interests, experiences, or beliefs can foster a stronger connection between people.

Maybe you both share a love for Italian food, or perhaps you both enjoy hiking. It could be anything from your shared love for 80s music to your mutual disdain for traffic jams.

Starting a conversation around these shared interests not only makes the conversation more interesting but also helps to build rapport quickly.

5) Show genuine enthusiasm

One of the most magnetic qualities a person can possess is genuine enthusiasm. There’s something incredibly captivating about someone who’s genuinely excited or passionate about something.

So, if you’re starting a conversation, don’t be afraid to show your enthusiasm. Maybe you’re really excited about the new movie that’s just come out, or you’ve just read a book that you couldn’t put down.

Sharing your excitement not only makes you appear more inviting and engaging but also encourages the other person to share their own interests and passions. It creates a positive, energetic atmosphere that can make any conversation enjoyable and memorable.

6) Be empathetic

Empathy is a powerful tool in any conversation. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.

When you demonstrate empathy in a conversation, it shows that you’re not just there to talk, but also to listen and understand. Maybe someone is sharing their struggles with you, or perhaps they’re talking about a recent achievement.

Respond with empathy, acknowledge their feelings, and show genuine interest in their experiences. This could be as simple as saying, “That sounds really tough, how are you coping?” or “Congratulations! You must be really proud.”

Showing empathy makes the other person feel valued and heard, which can deepen your connection and make your conversation more meaningful. It’s a subtle way to show that you care, making the conversation not just enjoyable but also heartfelt.

7) Use a dash of humor

I’ll admit, humor has always been my go-to strategy for starting a conversation. There’s something about sharing a light-hearted joke or a funny story that instantly breaks the ice.

Just the other day, I was at a coffee shop and I noticed the person next to me was having trouble with their coffee lid. I leaned in and said, “You know, they say you can judge a coffee shop by how easy it is to put on their lids.” We both laughed and it sparked a friendly chat about our favorite coffee shops in the city.

Humor can not only make your conversation enjoyable but also helps to ease any nervousness or awkwardness. Just remember to keep it light and fun. After all, the aim is to share a laugh, not offend or embarrass anyone.

8) Embrace the silence

While it may seem counterproductive, sometimes, the best way to keep a conversation going is by saying nothing at all.

It’s natural to want to fill every moment of silence in a conversation. But, paradoxically, these silences can actually be powerful tools for deepening a conversation.

Pausing for a moment allows the other person to process what’s been said and contributes their own thoughts. It shows that you’re comfortable with them and respect their input.

9) Be curious

Cultivating a sense of curiosity can be a game-changer when it comes to starting conversations.

When we’re genuinely curious about people and their stories, we naturally want to ask questions and learn more about them. This not only keeps the conversation flowing but also makes the other person feel interesting and valued.

Try asking about their favorite hobbies, travel experiences, or even what their typical day looks like. The key here is to listen attentively to their responses and ask follow-up questions.

Every person you meet has a wealth of experiences and stories to share. All you need is a little curiosity to uncover them.

10) Be yourself

At the end of the day, the most important aspect of any conversation is authenticity. You could have the wittiest ice-breakers or the most thoughtful questions, but if you’re not being true to yourself, it won’t feel genuine.

Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts, your interests, and your quirks. People are drawn to authenticity and are more likely to engage in a conversation if they feel they’re interacting with a real person, not someone who’s trying too hard to impress.

Be yourself. It’s the best conversation starter there is.