Respect can feel like one of those elusive intangibles—everyone wants it, but how do you actually earn it in day-to-day conversations? Over the years, I’ve noticed that certain phrases create a sense of trust and credibility almost immediately. Since I’m an introvert at heart, I’ve always been particularly mindful about how I communicate. Words can be powerful tools, especially if we use them in an authentic way.

If you’ve ever read about interpersonal psychology, you know how crucial first impressions are. According to Princeton study, people make snap judgments in as little as a tenth of a second. That’s not much time to show them who you truly are—but sometimes, all it takes is a well-placed phrase.

Below are ten intelligent phrases that, based on both psychological principles and my personal experiences, tend to command respect right from the get-go. These aren’t empty platitudes. They have real psychological underpinnings that help build rapport, show empathy, and demonstrate confidence. Let’s explore them.

1. “I appreciate your perspective.”

This phrase signals two important things: openness and respect. It’s a small linguistic gesture that shows you’re willing to value someone else’s point of view, even if it differs from your own. In psychology, there’s something called active listening—truly paying attention to what the other person is saying. When you respond with “I appreciate your perspective,” you show that you’re not just hearing words, but you’re listening for meaning.

I’ve seen this firsthand in my writing career. When I’m working with an editor who has critical feedback, telling them I appreciate their perspective has often led to a more productive collaboration. It instantly acknowledges that I value their expertise and insights. From that point onward, our dynamic is one of mutual respect rather than resistance.

On a deeper level, we all want to feel heard. By using this phrase, you tap into the basic human need for recognition. People respect those who grant respect in return.

2. “I’d love to learn more about that.”

Curiosity is a secret weapon in building credibility and rapport. Genuinely curious people are perceived as smarter and more likable. Why? Because curiosity shows you’re comfortable enough to admit you don’t know everything, and you’re eager to broaden your understanding.

When you say, “I’d love to learn more about that,” you do two things:

1. You flatter the speaker by indicating their knowledge is valuable.
2. You display intellectual humility, which is tied to higher levels of open-minded thinking.

I can’t tell you how many times, as an introvert, I’ve struggled to jump into group conversations. One trick I’ve learned is to just ask questions. Not only does it make people feel good, but it naturally draws them to you. It’s a win-win scenario—your knowledge expands, and they feel respected for what they know.

3. “Let’s figure out the best solution together.”

Collaboration is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship—professional or personal. Saying, “Let’s figure out the best solution together,” frames you as a team player rather than an authority figure trying to impose your will.

What does psychology say? Studies on group cohesion show that people who display collaborative language foster a sense of unity, which often leads to more trust and respect. By using “we” and “together,” you shift the dynamic from adversarial to cooperative.

One of my best friends works at a non-profit in New York, and she often starts team meetings with exactly this phrase. She tells me it dissolves tension, encourages brainstorming, and sets a tone of mutual respect. Whenever she’s said it during conflict resolution, it instantly brings everyone onto the same page.

4. “I’m sorry—let’s make it right.”

Owning up to mistakes is a surprisingly powerful way to earn respect. It shows you have the courage to admit fault and the willingness to rectify the situation. There’s a quote I love by Mahatma Gandhi: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” By apologizing sincerely—especially when you’re in the wrong—you demonstrate strength of character, not weakness.

Psychologically, acknowledging your errors sets you apart as someone who cares about fairness and integrity. Research in organizational behavior suggests that leaders who apologize effectively after mishaps or failures are more trusted by their teams. It humanizes you. When you say, “I’m sorry—let’s make it right,” you’re taking responsibility while also focusing on solutions.

I remember a time I missed an important deadline for a client. Instead of making excuses, I apologized and asked, “How can I make this better for you?” We ended up working together more harmoniously afterward—precisely because the respect went both ways.

5. “I value your time.”

Time is one of our most precious resources, and acknowledging that can instantly elevate someone’s perception of you. “I value your time” lets the other person know you respect their schedule, efforts, and priorities.

In fact, people often feel disrespected when their time is taken for granted. Phrases like “I know you’re busy, so let’s jump right in,” or “I value your time, so I’ll keep this quick,” can diffuse tension and show genuine consideration.

I typically open my emails to new clients with, “Thank you for making time to connect with me. I truly value your time.” Not only does it set a positive tone, but it also reminds me to be concise and clear. Clients often respond more warmly, and I’ve found it helps to build a foundation of mutual respect.

6. “I see where you’re coming from.”

This simple statement has an outsized effect on how you’re perceived. It indicates empathy—a critical factor in how much respect people will show you in return. Empathy is about understanding someone else’s emotions and point of view. When you say, “I see where you’re coming from,” you convey that you’re not dismissing their experiences or feelings.

Think about the psychologist Carl Rogers, who emphasized unconditional positive regard in relationships. Rogers believed that empathy is fundamental to any meaningful interaction. By showing empathy, you become a safe person to talk to, instantly raising your credibility and trustworthiness in the eyes of others.

As a writer who sometimes interviews people for cultural pieces, I notice that as soon as I acknowledge their perspective, they relax and open up more. It’s a subtle phrase, but it carries a ton of weight.

7. “Your insights made a difference.”

Everyone wants to feel like their words or actions matter. Telling someone, “Your insights made a difference,” is a powerful form of recognition. Not only does it boost the other person’s self-esteem, but it aligns with something psychologists call positive reinforcement—encouraging behaviors you’d like to see more often.

I remember doing a workshop in college where we had to critique each other’s writing. One professor kept emphasizing the importance of positive feedback. He’d say, “Specific praise is the single best way to motivate people toward excellence.” Ever since, I’ve made it a point to highlight what I found valuable in someone’s input. It’s a great way to nurture mutual respect and encourage a continuous exchange of ideas.

8. “I could use your help or advice.”

People inherently like to feel useful and important. By saying, “I could use your help,” you give them the chance to shine. Oddly enough, asking for help can heighten how much others respect you, so long as you do it in a thoughtful manner. This is related to what social psychologists call the Benjamin Franklin Effect. The concept is simple: someone who does you a favor is more likely to continue being helpful toward you than someone you’ve helped.

When you ask for help or advice, you’re showing vulnerability (which famed researcher Brené Brown says is the root of true connection), and you also subtly signal that you value their knowledge. This is a situation where humility and respect go hand in hand. And yes, you’ll likely get the help you need, all while strengthening the relationship.

9. “I respect your decision.”

Even if you disagree with someone’s choice, expressing respect for their autonomy goes a long way. This phrase tells the person that you see them as capable and responsible for their own life. It also helps maintain a cordial relationship, especially if you’re diverging on an important matter.

Now, I’m definitely someone who occasionally struggles with accepting decisions I don’t agree with—especially in collaborative writing projects. But I’ve learned that the fastest way to kill morale and respect is to push my agenda. Saying, “I respect your decision,” doesn’t necessarily mean you endorse it. Instead, you’re acknowledging their right to make their own call.

The word “respect” itself has a strong psychological effect. People perk up when they hear it. It’s like giving them a verbal handshake that says, “We remain equals, no matter our differences.”

10. “Let’s stay in touch; your work (or ideas) truly inspire me.”

Why this phrase works might seem obvious—but there’s an important nuance. You’re not just saying, “Let’s stay in touch.” You’re adding a note of genuine appreciation: “Your work truly inspires me.” That’s a subtle but significant difference from casual goodbyes, because it reaffirms why you’re parting on a note of respect.

When I attend literary events or conferences, I make it a point to wrap up meaningful conversations with something along these lines. Doing so shows I’ve been listening and that the conversation wasn’t just small talk. According to the theory of reciprocal liking in psychology, people who feel liked or admired are more inclined to like or admire in return. By expressing that you find them or their work inspiring, you often cultivate a long-term sense of respect.

Final Thoughts

In the end, commanding respect doesn’t have to be complicated. It often comes down to how well we communicate basic human values: empathy, acknowledgment, openness, curiosity, and honesty. As an introvert who’s learned the ropes of communication through trial and error, I can attest that these phrases aren’t magic spells—they’re reminders of how to treat people in ways that honor their dignity and worth.

That’s not to say you should rattle off these lines without sincerity. Authenticity is key. People can tell if you’re just dropping buzzwords. But when you do mean them—when you truly value someone’s time, acknowledge their perspective, and own your mistakes—respect follows naturally.

Perhaps the best encapsulation of this principle is a quote from Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” So make them feel heard, valued, and respected. Use these ten phrases as stepping stones to genuine connection. You might be surprised at how quickly others begin to see you in a new light.

And remember, respect is a two-way street. The way you speak to others reflects not only your regard for them but also your regard for yourself. After all, if you truly respect yourself, you’ll automatically speak in ways that uplift and empower the people around you. That’s the real secret behind earning respect in return.