10 habits of people who become more pleasant to be around as they get older, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | January 12, 2025, 12:40 pm

Aging: it’s inevitable. But, not everyone ages the same way. Some people become grumpy and difficult as they grow older, while others seem to become even more pleasant and enjoyable to be around.

It’s no magic trick, though. According to psychology, there are specific habits these delightful agers possess which make them more appealing with each passing year.

In this article, we’re going to explore these 10 habits, so you too can age like a fine wine and become someone people love to be around.

Let’s dive in.

1) They listen more than they speak

As we age, we gather a wealth of knowledge and experiences. But those who become more pleasant with age understand that everyone has their own unique stories and wisdom to share.

Sure, they could monopolize every conversation with tales of their past, but they choose not to. Instead, they truly listen when others speak, showing genuine interest and respect.

This habit is backed by psychology: active listening fosters deeper connections and relationships, which in turn enhances our level of happiness and satisfaction in life.

2) They embrace change

In my younger years, I would often resist change. It was like a knee-jerk reaction to anything new or different. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that change is not just a part of life, it’s essential for personal growth.

Those who become more pleasant with age have this understanding. They are not set in their ways but are open to new ideas, experiences, and perspectives.

Take my Grandma, for example. At the ripe age of 80, she decided to learn how to use a smartphone. She could have stuck with her old flip phone, but she realized that embracing this new technology would enable her to stay connected with her grandchildren in a way she couldn’t before.

This willingness to adapt and grow, even in the face of unfamiliarity, makes people more enjoyable to be around – no matter what their age is.

3) They practice gratitude regularly

Gratitude might seem like a simple concept, but its power is truly transformative. Regularly expressing gratitude not only increases our own happiness, but it also creates a positive ripple effect on those around us.

People who age pleasantly understand this and make a conscious effort to express their thankfulness on a regular basis. They don’t just wait for Thanksgiving to roll around.

Whether it’s jotting down what you’re thankful for in a journal or simply saying “thank you” more often, cultivating this habit can make you a more pleasant person to be around.

4) They are not judgmental

Growing older often brings wisdom and understanding, and with these comes the ability to be less judgmental. Those who become more pleasant to be around as they age have a knack for accepting others just as they are.

They understand that everyone has their own journey, their own strengths and weaknesses, and their own battles to fight. Instead of passing judgment, they offer empathy and compassion.

This doesn’t mean they agree with everything everyone does. But it does mean they refrain from making snap judgments or criticizing others harshly.

In a world where criticism is often the norm, this trait makes them a breath of fresh air and someone people genuinely enjoy being around.

5) They maintain a positive outlook

Life is full of ups and downs. And as we age, we face more challenges and heartaches. But the people who become more pleasant with age don’t let these difficulties sour their outlook on life.

Instead, they choose to focus on the positive aspects of life. They see the glass as half full rather than half empty. They find joy in the small things and are quick to laugh.

This positivity is infectious. It lightens the mood and lifts the spirits of those around them, making them a joy to be around.

Our attitude towards life is a choice. And choosing positivity can make a world of difference, not just to our own happiness, but also to how others perceive us.

6) They show genuine kindness

We live in a fast-paced world where it’s easy to become consumed with our own lives and forget about the feelings and needs of others. But those who become more pleasant as they age understand the power of kindness.

Showing genuine kindness to others—whether it’s a loved one, a stranger, or even oneself—is a habit they practice regularly. It’s not about grand gestures or expecting something in return, but about small acts of kindness that come from the heart.

Whether it’s a warm smile, a comforting word, or lending a helping hand when it’s needed, these acts of kindness can brighten someone’s day and make the world seem like a friendlier place.

In an age where kindness can sometimes be overshadowed by negativity, these individuals stand out for their warm-hearted nature, making them truly pleasant to be around.

7) They keep learning

I used to think that learning was something you did in school and then you were done. But the older I get, the more I realize that learning is a lifelong adventure.

Those who become more pleasant as they get older have a thirst for knowledge that never wanes. They’re always seeking to learn something new, whether it’s a new skill, a new language, or just gaining a deeper understanding of the world around them.

I remember when I decided to learn Spanish at the age of 50. It was challenging, but the sense of achievement I felt when I could finally hold a conversation was immeasurable.

This constant pursuit of knowledge keeps their minds sharp and their lives interesting. More importantly, it shows their humility and their willingness to grow, which makes them truly delightful to be around.

8) They know when to say no

Saying “yes” to everything might seem like the polite thing to do, but people who become more pleasant as they age understand the importance of setting boundaries.

They know that saying “no” when necessary is not about being selfish or unkind. It’s about respecting their own time, energy and needs. This way, when they do say “yes”, it is wholehearted and meaningful.

Contrary to what you might think, setting clear boundaries doesn’t push people away. Instead, it generates respect and creates healthier relationships. After all, a person who respects themselves teaches others to respect them too.

Don’t be afraid to say no when needed. It might actually make you a more pleasant person to be around.

9) They forgive and let go

Holding onto grudges and resentments can be like lugging around a heavy suitcase. It weighs us down, and over time, it only gets heavier.

People who become more pleasant as they age have learned the art of forgiveness. They understand that letting go of past hurts doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened, but it does mean freeing themselves from the burden of bitterness.

Instead of dwelling on past hurts, they focus on the present moment and the future. They understand that forgiveness is a gift they give to themselves, allowing them to live lighter and happier.

If you’re carrying around old resentments, consider letting them go. You might find that it makes you a much more pleasant person to be around.

10) They love themselves

Self-love isn’t about being narcissistic or self-centered. It’s about respecting oneself, valuing one’s own happiness and well-being, and understanding that we deserve kindness and respect.

Those who age pleasantly have a strong sense of self-love. They take care of their physical health, nourish their minds, and nurture their spirits. They accept their flaws and celebrate their strengths.

And this self-love radiates outwards. It sets a benchmark for how others should treat them and encourages a similar respect and love in those around them.

Final thoughts: It’s about the journey

Aging is an inevitable part of life, but how we age is largely up to us. It’s not about the wrinkles on our skin, but the habits we nurture and the attitudes we cultivate.

From being a good listener to embracing change, practicing gratitude to maintaining a positive outlook, each habit we’ve explored is a stepping stone on the journey to becoming more pleasant as we age.

These habits, backed by psychology, aren’t just theories. They’re proven pathways to happiness and fulfillment that can transform our golden years into our best years.

And remember, it’s never too late to start. Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s no time like the present to start cultivating these habits.

After all, aging is not about growing old but about growing. And with each passing year, we have the opportunity to grow into someone even more pleasant to be around. So why not seize it?

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