First impressions are everything, and we all know how crucial they can be. You don’t want to be that person who instantly puts people off when you first meet them.

There’s a fine line between being authentically you and risking a negative reaction from others. Sometimes, it’s not about changing who you are, but rather, tweaking your behavior a bit.

Certain behaviors can trigger an instant dislike. Here, I’m going to share with you 10 of these off-putting behaviors, so that next time you meet someone new, you’ll leave a positive impression instead.

Let’s dive right in.

1) Being too self-centered

We all want to make ourselves look good when we meet someone for the first time. But there’s a fine line between sharing about ourselves and becoming overly self-absorbed.

First meetings are usually about getting to know each other. It’s a two-way street. However, if you dominate the conversation with stories about yourself, achievements and interests, you risk coming off as self-centered.

It’s not a monologue but a dialogue. People appreciate when you show genuine interest in getting to know them too.

2) Being dismissive

I remember once, I met this person at a networking event. We started chatting about our work and when I mentioned what I do, they immediately dismissed it as unimportant. They didn’t even bother to understand the depth of my work or show any interest in it.

I was instantly turned off. Their dismissive attitude made me feel belittled and unimportant.

This is a classic example of a behavior that can turn people off. Dismissing someone’s interests, opinions, or experiences as invalid or insignificant can make them feel undervalued and unseen.

3) Poor listening skills

Did you know that a study by the Harvard Business Review revealed that good listeners are perceived as people leaders and those who can create trustworthy relationships? On the contrary, those who don’t listen well are seen as less empathetic and less likely to be trusted.

When you’re meeting someone for the first time, it’s crucial to show that you’re actively listening. This involves maintaining eye contact, nodding when appropriate, and responding to what they say.

But if you’re constantly interrupting, or worse, checking your phone while they’re talking, it sends a clear message that you don’t value what they have to say. This is a sure-fire way to turn people off.

4) Lack of personal boundaries

Maintaining personal boundaries is crucial when meeting someone new. It’s about understanding and respecting the invisible lines that separate you from others.

If you get too close physically or ask overly personal questions, it can make the other person uncomfortable. Similarly, over-sharing personal information can also be off-putting.

Respecting boundaries shows that you value the other person’s comfort and privacy. It creates a safe space for both of you to interact and get to know each other.

5) Being overly negative

Sure, we all have our bad days and it’s okay to share our struggles. But if your conversation is constantly filled with complaints, criticisms, or pessimistic views, it can quickly turn people off.

Negativity has a way of draining energy and bringing down the mood. It’s hard to connect with someone when they are persistently negative, especially during a first meeting.

Try to keep the conversation light and positive. You can certainly share your challenges, but also focus on the lessons learned or how you’re trying to overcome them.

6) Lack of empathy

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s about being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective.

When you meet someone for the first time and are unable to show empathy, it can come across as cold and unfeeling. For instance, if they share something personal or difficult and you respond with indifference or insensitivity, it can be deeply hurtful.

On the other hand, showing empathy can create an instant connection. It shows that you care about their feelings and experiences, and it builds trust.

7) Being judgmental

I once shared my unconventional career choice with someone I had just met. Instead of trying to understand why I chose this path, they instantly labeled it as “unstable” and “impractical”. It felt like they had put me in a box based on their preconceived notions.

Being quick to judge others can instantly turn people off. It sends a message that you’re not open-minded and it can make others feel uncomfortable sharing about themselves.

Instead, try to approach new encounters with an open mind. Appreciate the diversity in thoughts, experiences, and lifestyles. It can lead to more enriching conversations and connections.

8) Being too agreeable

While it might seem like constantly agreeing with someone will make them like you, it can actually have the opposite effect. It’s important to voice your own opinions and thoughts, even if they differ from the other person’s.

If you’re always nodding along, it can come across as insincere or as if you’re trying too hard to please. It also denies the other person the chance to engage in a meaningful discussion or debate.

Of course, it’s crucial to express disagreements respectfully and constructively. But remember, being genuine and authentic in your responses can create a deeper, more engaging interaction.

9) Dominating the conversation

Conversations should be a two-way street, especially when meeting someone new. If you’re the one doing all the talking, it can quickly turn people off.

It’s not just about sharing your thoughts and experiences. It’s equally, if not more important, to show interest in the other person. Ask them questions. Show curiosity about their life, their interests, and their perspectives.

A balanced conversation where both parties get to share and listen creates a more engaging and enjoyable interaction. It also showcases your respect for the other person’s viewpoints and experiences.

10) Not being present

In our digital age, it’s easy to get distracted by a notification or a quick glance at your phone. But when you’re meeting someone new, being fully present is the most important thing you can do.

Being present means actively listening, maintaining eye contact, and showing genuine interest in the conversation. It makes the other person feel valued and appreciated.

When you meet someone new, put your phone away, forget about your to-do list and just be in the moment. You’ll not only leave a positive impression, but you’ll also have a more meaningful interaction.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

At the core of all these behaviors that turn people off is a fundamental element of human interaction – respect.

Respect for another person’s time, space, opinions, and feelings. It’s about acknowledging the value of the person standing in front of you and treating them with the dignity they deserve.

It might seem like a simple concept, but in practice, it requires mindfulness and effort. From being present in the conversation to avoiding being overly negative – it all comes down to how much respect you show to the other person.

As William Ury, a renowned negotiation expert, once said, “Respect is not something that you can ask for or demand. Respect is what you earn from each person no matter their background or status.”

So next time you meet someone new, remember to show some respect. Not only will it prevent you from turning people off, but it will also pave the way for more meaningful and positive interactions.